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Asperger's & Autism Forum
Hi all, it turned out lately, that I should be highly functional aspie. My life is not such a bad. Have a few friends, job... but what has been real pain - relationships. I have been always charmed, when I have spoted interesting girl nearby. But still, in my whole live, I had only one very short relationship (a few kisses, a few walks, quick and ugly ending). It was maybe 12 years ago and only case, I have ever had second date. People around say, I'm looking normal and behave like it (so not really weird, maybe a bit nervous), but I saw girls almost running away after I tried to invite them to go out. Also, when I try Tinder, its not such a big deal to have a date, but after first date, girls disappear (no bye, no explanation). Sometimes, it ends in friendzone. Strange is, even my real good friend was nervous, when I get too close to her comfort zone (and I was only one in this role from all her friends). I can hear very often, that girls can't imagine me as partner (only friend)....
Why is it that all the little awareness items about autism doesn't contain the big stuff? The stuff that really makes our lives hard.
Don't know if anyone has seen on facebook "The girl with curly hair" or whatever it is. When I first started seeing them I'd share once in a while just to let people know what it's like. But I'd always get "I can relate" and "I feel the same way" comments, and looking at them, they are all subjects that are easily relatable. Even the social difficulties, don't mention how you might freeze in these settings. I can find nothing out there about feeling like you're living in a box that restricts your every movement. There's nothing out there about not being able to get past that hum of the lights so you don't hear what anyone's saying. There's nothing out there about seeing a faceless world and fear of not recognizing your own kids.
My sister texted me that my brother was in the hospital, diverticulitis (which I know is not good) and possible appendectomy. She asked if I want to know those things. I responded "she can". But I have no concern over him. I don't really want to tell her that. I'm not cold and heartless, I'm not sure I understand myself my total lack of empathy there. It's kind of like my dad, I guess. I could easily get mad at him, but lost concern when things would happen and I knew I wouldn't miss him when he died and I don't. But my sister felt the same way so it was easier to be open about it. With my brother, they care tremendously, and it's not easy for me to tell them that I just don't. I care about others, even people I don't know, I will feel concern about. It's just not there with him - am I cold and heartless?
Long ago, I heard and read a bunch of articles about how people with Autism Spectrum Disorders don't feel empathy, or sympathy. That was the main reason I thought I wasn't on the spectrum, because I have some empathy.
I feel emotions, but I can't always find a name for what I'm feeling. I check how I'm feeling physically, and sometimes deduce what I'm feeling, like "my fists are clenched, mouth is dry, and I'm sweating, maybe this is fear/anxiety".
I have been observing people from the outside for so long, that I can sometimes tell what they're feeling. When I'm in a group that is sad, and crying, I occasionally react the same way. I don't know if that's mimicking to fit in, or not, though. It gets extreme if someone is physically injured. Like, if I see someone twisting their ankle, I sometimes react as if I injured myself, as well. But I don't always know how to interact with a person emotionally. If I'm with someone, and they start crying, I'll be unsure what to do/say,...
Love to shake my foot back and forth and twirl my hair. Do you like to talk about your stimming? If someone asks you not to stim, have you tried to please them to keep the peace? Do you stim if bored or nervous or both? Do you think shoving your hands in and out of pockets is stimming? Are you aware when you flap your hands? Does anybody slap the sides of their leg? Do you ever feel entertained by your stimming?
I am staying home from work currently, and I am very sick. I feel tons of resentment because I am very sick right now. Adding insult to injury, it also feels like every legitimate resentment I ever had in my life is being freshly remembered as I lie down on my couch today.
I am too sick to smoke weed, obviously. And NyQuil stopped knocking me out after I slept almost nonstop for 24 hours yesterday. So, I am feeling sorry for myself because this is damn miserable. I know it will pass eventually, but it still very much sucks in the present moment.
I am an 18 year old teenager boy with aspergers and for the longest time I had issues taking showers in high school especially with other students mainly because I hate nudity and I don't want to be seen naked.
Eventually the teachers started becoming suspicious so they sent this teacher that was probably in his mid 40s to make sure that I did shower.
When I did not shower he eventually started shouting at me and at one point I even briefly saw him naked which scared me badly.
And from that point whenever he was there whenever I heard his voice especially when he started shouting mainly when I was on the toilet playing pinball games on my mobile for too long I was really scared of him so I just ran away fearing he was gonna follow me.
The worst part was that I was stuttering as I spoke and my heart was beating extremely fast because of fear and that he never took my fear seriously and his only reaction was to say "stop joking around"
A while ago I did the same which was...
Why are job interviews so stressful? I have pretty great control over my mouth and imagined next possible foot in mouth scenario. But job interviews are hit or miss. Today, we were interviewing in the lobby. Not my piece of cake but that seems to be the standard in alot of places these days. I feel like day-old bread, like couldn't we sit in your office or a conference room? Like dude- l drove all the way here, used hair products, burned fuel to drive here with all the other nut cases on the road. What do other posters think?
What about the managers that won't hire you because you are older then them or don't speak the same language as they do?
Why can't they just say screw the we don't discriminate- don't bother applying because what's left of you is best left at home.
Someone was telling me about their dreams and how they often involved various animals.
This made me start thinking about my own dreams.
I realised there have been very few dreams that ever had animals in them,
despite feeling a close connection to the animal kingdom.
From a psychological viewpoint I wondered if others have dreams that contain animals.
Especially those on the spectrum because we all seem to relate to our pets and animals.
I remember my dreams and lucid dream often.
Yet I can only remember a couple of times dreams that had animals in them.
Horses once, a bird, and a few of spiders.
Do you have animals in your dreams?
Not sure where else to post this correct me if I'm wrong. My son is ten years old and in fourth grade. He has high functioning aspergers and tends to get upset easily at seemingly random things. One thing that makes him particularly unnerved is people wearing makeup. I used to wear a full face every day until he was about five, then he started to get agitated whenever I had makeup on and would get mad whenever I did my makeup in the morning. He said I looked "scary" with makeup on, even when just doing a natural look. I tried telling him that most women wear makeup and it's just something he would have to get used to but it didn't stop him from complaining to me every time I had makeup on.
Eventually I got tired of it and stopped wearing makeup on the weekends and now I only wear it when I'm going out every once and a while. He also complains when other people wear makeup, like his aunt or grandmother. I thought this had calmed down, but today was parent-teacher meeting and...
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