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Asperger's & Autism Forum
I've never understood the way people obsess over their friends, friendship groups, and social status, especially in cases where they clearly don't even particularly like the people they surround themselves with.
As an example, a friend of mine is involved in this particular friend group in which they have a vicious argument almost every day (always between the boys and girls because the boys are unfortunately extremely sexist). She complains about the group not sticking up for her and about the constant arguments to me all the time, but if I say "just leave" she defends them, and everything is always fine the next day as if the argument never happened. This is a pattern I see in so many people I know - they complain, do nothing about it, and then are surprised when they keep getting treated poorly. I've asked people why they do this, and they say "it's harder than you think" but I can't understand that because I cut myself off from people almost too quickly.
I don't know if I...
Feel so nasty in them and yet, due to weather conditions and sometimes, having no choice, but go out, terribly inconvenient.
Feel much better wearing an oversized cardigan out doors, but due to the material, not very practical when heavy down pours.
So, after much searching, found a waterproof rain coat, that MIGHT meet my brain's demands lol and a separate rain hat.
I am not a casual person, but elegant out door wear, is not exactly practical in dreadful weather.
Anyone else find this trouble?
I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right category or not; it touches on several topics and I'm not sure which one to put it under. Regardless of what category this fits under, I do want this thread to focus mainly on personal issues of trying to express myself; rather than my views of what I am trying to express. So here's my story:
Back in 2016, I reverted to the Catholic Faith, throughout my teenage and young adult years, I had developed the habit being reclusive and not expressing myself. At the time I was attending a secular college, and the classes in that college taught certain agendas and a certain worldview and narrative which, after reverting, I got a fuller picture of, frank, how hostile that narrative was. On top of that, there was the whole 2016 elections, and some of the media my parents were consuming started to portray people of my philosophical persuasion in a very negative light.
All this, combined with my reclusive habits caused me to really hide my...
Aspergers often find that focusing on many things at the same times is difficult. This could be applied to learning new skills motor skills. I, personaly, like to break down motor skills into smaller parts. At dance lessons (the dreaded group lessons) one often focuses on many motor skills at the same time. This also happens at singing lessons (private lessons). The singing teacher I have now is super good at focusing on one skills at a time. Another example is when I learned English (second language) pronunciation. I had to focus on just one single sound eg "can" becomes "c'n" in some sentences. I felt like a kid learning the correct pronunciation.
What are your experiences? What has worked for you?
I don't want to put everyone in a box but I've heard from many people that when an aspie breaks up with you it's written in stone for them, that their feelings will NOT change no matter what and that they forget you even existed after a few weeks. Is this true? Is there any hope for us in the future? She says she doesn't hate me and have no bad feelings for me, just that she doesn't feel the same way anymore. The breakup was very spontaneous. For now I'm leaving her alone..
Dating between doctors and patients, between psychologists and clients is controversial. Well, I'm aiming to get the law changed in the UK so it's allowed. I've written an article that's been published which explores the issue. I'm considering getting a petition started at some point.
Someone for Everyone? by Ashley Formby – Asylum Magazine
I could tell you some stories. I've had professional women flirt with me, one of them who was helping me had a Freudian slip that indicated she had sexual thoughts about me. In a hospital one time a psychiatrist while interviewing me rubbed my stomach while smiling mischievously. Another female psychiatrist I saw asked me a string of questions about sex and how I felt about women unprompted, when I hadn't been talking about anything related to that at all, asking me questions like "I bet you'd like a woman, wouldn't you?" I had a therapist who would cry during sessions with me and would comment on the clothes I was wearing, she also smiled...
I'm 40 in a few months. I've been referred by my therapist for an ASD assessment. While I wait to be seen, I've begun experimenting with letting my body do what it wants to do and not letting ingrained social expectations get in the way. Taking off the mask.
Sometimes this feels like a relief, like with (more visible) stimming, and other times I am very conscious of how others are responding to me, particularly people who knew me when the full mask was up. Like my therapist and my voc rehab counselor, for example.
How long did it take for the mask to come off? The latest for me is paring down eye contact (I was one of those who would stare as a way of showing that I was listening. Most friends and family remarked that my gaze was intense). I realize now that when I make eye contact, I feel ...overconnected? Like the relationship is unbalanced and I am in an intimate exchange I didn't ask for. And when I don't make eye contact, I feel more comfortable most of the time....
A little backstory on my ex.
Before me she had been in two relationships. One guy had severe ADHD and one of them manipulated her sexually and mentally in her own words. I was her third boyfriend and she got diagnosed the year we met. She told me several times she had never felt so safe and understood then when she was with me. We had the same energy level compared to the ADHD guy. And I wasn't as needy and clingy as the manipulative guy. We both fit like a hand in a glove.
A little backstory on our relationship.
We dated for 1.5 years. Our needs are almost exactly the same. We both don't really crave eachothers company for more than a few days and then we go back to our ''normal'' life. When we were together we both liked doing our own thing while watching netflix shows. She would also knit while I was playing video games. We both don't really like to talk and prefer being alone. Both introverted. Everything was going really well.
Now here's the issue. We broke up because she...
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