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Asperger's & Autism Forum
Do any of you drastically change the way you speak when someone asks you about something you are interested in? I've noticed I will change my tone of voice and style of speaking to something much more presentation-like rather than the usual conversation style.
The last time I actually gave a presentation, I leaned into this on purpose. There were some strange, somewhat amused (maybe pitying?) looks from the audience. I choose to ignore them and got a very good grade.
any similar experiences?
I tried to make this concise but, well... you know how it goes.
I find doctor visits highly stressful. The uncomfortable environment (bright lights, loud clock, weird smells), the doctor pounding on the keyboard while I talk. The pressure to explain myself clearly and concisely in a short time is intimidating and I think the way it affects me might be having an impact on the way my doctor interprets what I tell him.
On my first visit with him I described the experiences that had me suspecting ASD, and after listening to me for five minutes or so, he said I had general anxiety. It's true that I'm anxious about certain things (like doctor visits) but I don't actually come close to meeting the criteria for GAD. Thankfully that visit was only to get a referral and I did eventually get the diagnosis of Asperger's. Now I've gone back because during one of my psych visits we realized that my monthly cycle is far more controlling over my life than is typical for most people, and we want...
I recently self-diagnosed as ASD and am now seeking a clinical diagnosis. Something that I have reflected on a lot as I have been re-evaluating my life (I think of it as being like a social/emotional anatomy of self) is what I would describe as the feeling of being emotionally muted. Not only do I feel this, but it has been noted by those I’ve had close relationships with. It is like I am consistently at emotional room temperature. The only thing that really rattles me is when I am confronted with the inability to make myself understood/hurting someone I care about/failing in a relationship. These things hurt A LOT (really the only thing that can make me cry). Otherwise, I am like that Far Side cartoon: the many emotions of a dog, with the same expression for each emotion. My wedding photos? Looks like I could be waiting for a bus. Photo of me on a rollercoaster? Staring expressionless into the void. Birth of my kids? No significant emotional response. I love my kids, but...
I was told quite often whilst attending meetups that my use of language is odd or "off" compared to a normal person. In worst-case scenarios people just call me "autistic" like an insult.
But it is because I refuse to use contractions and other things when speaking English. I also use strange grammar in other languages, such as when I insist to use the archaic future subjunctive in Spanish ("cuando vinieres" instead of "cuando vengas") or using the hyphenated multiple pronoun structure in Portuguese when talking ("dir-lho-ei" instead of the simplified spoken "lhe direi"). I also sometimes use cases when speaking Dutch.
Is it true that these language quirks, such as my refusing to use contractions or my usage of "thou" and Germanic grammar and vocabulary of older English ("I am come home" instead of "I have come home" or "I have to go to the sickhouse" instead of "I have to go to the hospital") makes people find me weird and suspect that I have ASD?
The way people misuse the word "literally" completely drives me up the wall. It's like nails on a chalkboard every time I hear it, which is pretty much every day.
"I literally got into my car and went to the store." Huh?
"People literally don't like me." Um...
"I literally want to go home right now." Okay...?
The way certain words and phrases suddenly become "epidemically" popular and the way people just unconsciously integrate them into their everyday vocabulary is a strange thing to me. Remember when people used to say, "I know, right?" As an autistic person who so often actually does take things literally or at face value, my knee-jerk response to that question was always: "You're asking me to confirm that you know something? How would I know what you know?"
In the same way that loud noises and anything "out of place" can result in me having a full-blown meltdown, hearing words misused and overused causes that familiar "meltdown feeling" to creep into me. Does...
Have you ever stolen anything?
What was it?
How did you do it?
How did you feel about the act after the fact?
Would you do it again?
I admit I haven’t always done the right thing and I usually feel bad about it. Sometimes it is accidental and already left the location.
I haven't been eating as much as I used to. And somedays, I end up with hunger pains. Everyday is just horrible. I'm tortured by noises and odors, downed by stressful bad grades and work im too dumb to figure out, and physically hurt by my own lack of coordination. On Suffering Sunday, I scraped my big toe on a stupid rock, and that left more of a wound that I thought it would. It was a lot of bleeding..
On Miserable Monday nightnight, I was tortured By the stupid roaring vehicles outside and melted down to the point my mother came in the room and scolded me for swiping at the certain and tearing the blinds. Terrible Tuesday, I found our I failed an exam, my car battery died because the stupid headlights are so hard to remember to cut off before parking, and I was late for my next class.
Now, in Worse-Day Wednesday, as I'm tortured all day by noises, I couldn't print this stupid packet for class, then the teacher told us to have it filled out, and I couldn't even figure it out....
I am not sure why I am posting this, because everyone here deals with similar situations. Over the weekend, i attended my nephew’s wedding. It was very nice, and afterwards there was a big dinner and reception. I attempted to socialize, spoke to people I had not seen in a long time, but before long I ran out of things to say and I just wasn’t up to socializing. So another nephew who was there happens to have a son, maybe 8 years old, who is autistic. While everyone is visiting and dancing, I am sitting at this table with this boy. He was pre-occupied with a digital gaming device, while his father was trying to distract him to get him to dance and interact with people. Meanwhile, I was sitting there with my smartphone amusing myself, but obviously not dancing and interacting with family. My wife became frustrated, so I attempted to socialize. By 11:00 PM the party is still going strong, but I was wiped out from all the festivities. So, I told my wife I was wiped out and was calling...
Just got off the phone with the bank (they phoned me but a mutually agreed phone call). The guy started out brightly enough, with all the well-trained PR accoutrements - every politeness and courtesy in the book, solicitous tone of voice, 'let me tell you our options' etc. I was very interested and eager and open to learning all I could as finance is not an area where I have a natural interest and aptitude. But at some point my lifestyle and values must have formed a larger picture in his mind because he lost interest and palmed me off on one of his junior colleagues at a later date. I realised I'd failed to match up to his expectations, that probably my lifestyle and values don't fit the profile they're after - the things they're used to hooking people with. I just felt the fizz go out of the phone call as chagrin and disillusionment set in on his part.
Have you ever felt that others are perplexed or bewildered by your values and lifestyle? Alternatively, do you get excited when...
As much as i hate moving, I can't stand this very loud neighborhood!!! The constant roaring vehicles, the planes flying over the house, neighbor's rumbling trucks! It has caused countless meltdowns to the point that I've torn up the previous blinds! I can't stand it anymore!!! I wanna move?, but i life with my mother, and I'm still going to college. I feel so attacked in my own home! The noises are even getting loud enough to go right through my earbuds! And it's every. Five Minutes! It don't leave me alone! What's worse is my mother confronting me about "hitting stuff" and telling me that's not gonna stop the noise, but I CAN'T HELP IT! Either we move, or I'm gonna be stuck fighting and fighting until I burn out one day. It's horrible. I can't live like this. I used to have thoughts of just bursting my eardrums, so I would finally be put out of my misery, and those thoughts never left completely because what if something happens to the earbuds??? Then I would be plunged right back...
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