Asperger's & Autism Forum

I remember reading somewhere that aspies have lack of interest in other person they being in relationship with or friends however how to distinguish this between aspie sympthom or plain selfishness and lack of interest in a person?

Does being an aspie symptom makes such behavior any different?
Talking to an aspie girl who does not know she's an aspie, i am like 80% positive she is.

I know her for a two weeks and she never initiated a contact with me first however responds almost instantly when i text her and we can talk for hours.

When we go out she have not asked a single question about me like she does not care a bit about me never even say "how r you today" etc its always me asking her questions about her and she shares her experiences.
When i start talking about myself she never show any interest either.

In general she is very closed and shy person she is only 18, low self esteem, however once she warms up in a conversation she gets much more open, yet still she never...

I try, and try everyday socially. I have a lot of anxiety and stress in social situations.

I’m not feeling the best right now because i’m still unemployed after graduating. Seeing my peers excel and move forwards isn’t helping.

______

This evening something on Facebook really upset me.

- I’m just back from a trip to London. Yesterday I uploaded photos with the status “photos of my trip to London. I’m having a great time, I am happy to get out of Northern Ireland, really depressing there. Don’t know how someone could choose to spend the rest of their life there?”. Which is what I believe.

- So, a guy from a local Autistic club wrote “you should be a politician”. I said why. He said “because you always whine” (this is the second time he’s said this).

- So I told him that he could delete me if he didn’t like my posts. So, that’s what he did.

- However, upon further inspection a colleague from my University also deleted me at that moment.

Now, at the moment i’m feeling very...

Feeling that you must keep conversation flowing in a social group
Feeling anxious when unable to keep a conversation flowing
Motivation to socialise or even talk to people comes in peaks and troughs - for example you arrange a date to meet up with someone which seems like a good idea at the time but when the date comes around your motivation disappears
Needing a lot of personal space to pursue your own interests - I'm not consciously aware of this but I recently made a correlation between the amount of time I spend with my missus when at work vs holiday / free time after work and suspect perhaps that need may be the result of stressors in the work environment

Are there things you don't like? I apparently look like a character who some say is a 'buffoon' I have heard some people call me that. As far as I can see with no regard to if possibly I feel uncomfortable, with the right intention and context I am okay. People who seem to try and be malicious with it frustrate me as they lie to pretend they are nice or good. I don't understand why someone would want to try and be nasty.

Hello,

I was curious how do you know if an Aspie likes you more than just friends? This guy is pretty shy and he and I have been hanging out for a while now, I really like him but I'm shy as well and can't muster up the courage to ask him if he does? I am an NT by the way and he told me that he may have ASD but I don't think he has ever gotten a proper diagnosis he doesn't like to talk about it much and is pretty insecure as well but I like him as he is very sweet, just recently he told me he had changed his work schedule for one of the days so we could hang out on a certain day so I would be able to head to bed earlier to get more rest.
He always initiates things with me like asking to hang out and he has shared with me some of his hobbies since we have those in common.

Since we have been hanging out though a lot whenever his friends are around they do kind of joke that we are a couple of sorts but he is always the first to say we aren't so this is why I am unsure.
Any...

All my life I've had a very limited wardrobe. Having a large number of clothes/outfits would overwhelm me, whereas wearing the same ones over and over is soothing and familiar. Whenever I buy new clothes, I feel a certain amount of anxiety while wearing them because I feel very aware that I'm wearing them (as opposed to, you know, how normally when you're wearing clothes, you don't think about them or feel them?). Does anyone know what I mean here? I've even gone too far with it at times e.g. when a jacket or shirt or pair of pants gets stained or ripped, I'll still keep wearing it. Several years ago I had a jacket that had something sticky on the back that wouldn't come out, but I wore it anyway, and it was like an "out of sight, out of mind" type thing, like I thought that if I didn't see it or think about it, then no one else could see it either.

This is an autism thing, right? And can anyone relate to it?

I feel so clueless when it comes to talking about money. Giving/receiving money, negotiating prices (I have my own business), splitting bills, etc etc. As soon as money is involved I'm completely and utterly lost. It is so full of hidden rules and reading between lines and I don't know the first thing about navigating it all.

As an example, when discussing a price for a job and someone offers an amount, I get stuck when I'm supposed to respond. I know they're going to read so much into my response so I get flustered and my mind stalls. When I stare blankly at them, they seem to think I'm not happy with the amount, but I honestly don't know if I'm happy with a given amount because when I'm talking to people and they say numbers it's almost meaningless. I have difficulty with money in general (like determining the value of something, whether a price is reasonable etc). Even if I do know an amount is good, I still don't know what kind of reaction to give. If I react too positively...

Hi everyone,

For context, I'm a 31 year old woman.

I posted a few weeks ago about my upcoming pre-diagnosis screening on the NHS and my worst fear has now been realised... I met with two clinicians (I can't remember exactly what they said their jobs were), answered questions for 45 minutes and they decided it's very unlikely I have autism so sent me off with no further help.

I'm really angry about it as I think they were patronising and completely ignored what I was saying, claiming that I used humour, responded to their questions and described my partner in a nuanced way, therefore couldn't be autistic. I had written pages of information for them when my GP referred me, which then led to being invited for this pre-diagnosis assessment, so clearly my written experiences gave the impression that I could be autistic.

They stressed how rare autism is and that only one in 100 people are autistic, described autism as being "popular" right now, asked me why I needed a label, told me...

Having been raised by "born again Christians" and being diagnosed with ASC, I see a logical correlation between developmentally repressive environments like this and conditions such as ASC.

I wonder if any scientific studies have looked at this?

This has come up in my life like four times just in the last week, once or twice here, so I've thought about it a lot. A friend tried explaining it to me, but I still don't get it, but I trust him, so there must be something to it.

It's the whole thing about how people's problems are relative. So if someone complains about something and it seems silly to me, people will say something like, "But it's not to them," and my friend said something like, "Everyone's feelings are valid."

But does this have some sort of limit? Isn't a child being starved objectively worse than so many other things? I'm not great at thinking of hypotheticals but I think I'm making sense anyway.

When a child cries because he wants more candy, I don't care. I ignore him. Because it's a silly thing to cry over. The child should learn to be happy with the candy he already got. Am I wrong about that, or is that something else, or what?

There are so many awful things happening to people every day, so it...