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Asperger's & Autism Forum
Underneath all of the facades and masks and performances we do for the sake of getting along in an NT world, what is your true, inner self like? Who are you, really? And are there any situations where you're able to bring that authentic self to the surface for others to see?
Hi, been a while since I posted but I really need an the advice of some non NT's. Ok I have been with my ASD partner for almost two years. It has definitely been a learning curve and there has been hard times but I love him dearly. At the moment it feels like my heart is breaking and I'm not sure I have any tears left to cry! We usually see each other a couple of times a week but I haven't seen him for almost two weeks now. Basically he has had a family crisis, and it is a big one and I know he has a lot on his mind. He has cancelled the last three times we were meant to meet because of this. We still talk daily via text ( he finds talking on the phone difficult) but I'm struggling. My NT brain says if he loved me he would want to see me and I'm frightened he is backing off. I have asked and he says there isn't a problem with us. At times like this I can't think like he does and it's hard. Do you think it's a problem or should I stop worrying and just let him sort his head out?...
Hello, my husband and I have been married for 5 1/2 years and we both have Aspergers. We've had an on going issue from the beginning where I will bring up something that needs to be discussed, and he will become overwhelmed and shut down. Typically, he will go completely mute. If I revisit the subject at a later time, the same thing will happen. If I attempt to talk to him about it in writing, he is still unresponsive. If at any point I am able to succeed in getting him to respond, he will more or less simply repeat whatever I have said and place the terms "I know" or "I'm sorry" in front of my own words. So, for example, if I'm trying to discuss how I want him to be more involved in our finances, and he eventually responds to me, his response will be something along the lines of "I know I should be more involved in the finances" or "I'm sorry that I'm not more involved in the finances". It's like talking to a wall, and then if I'm lucky, it's like talking to a parrot. The issue is...
I got some fantastic news. I finally have a regular schedule at work now. My boss told me that I could have the corporate shuttle that I really like which runs from Monday through Friday. Wahoo! Two drivers quit, I moved up the seniority list and now I have a route of my own. This means I can quit my other job and establish a routine in my life. As I become an older Aspie, I'm finding comfort in routine and I'm not as adaptable to change.
Does anyone else have a high tolerance for physical pain? I dislocated my rib on Tuesday (or almost did, it was sticking out anyway), and while it was uncomfortable and sore, I don't know that I really understood how bad it was. Well, I say bad, it's not an emergency, but my doctor prescribed me some pretty strong painkillers and wants me to get x-rays :/
I seem to underestimate the severity of injuries etc all the time, and I *think* it's because I just don't feel it as intensely.
Does anyone get flashbacks? I mean from bullying in high school, work place, and even college. Over the past 9 years, I've had trouble sleeping at night due to high school bullying. At first, I thought it was just me, but whenever I've done research, I have found that they are studies to support people with autism are more prone to being bullied than neurotypical people. ( I wasn't diagnosed at the time, although I knew I was different.) Here's my lil' story: I dropped out of public high school (a topic for another time) for skipping and I planned on getting my GED since I noticed 'neurotypical teens' in school were just jerks and I no longer wanted nothing to do with them. My neurotypical mother pushed me to a alternative high school, of course, this place is even worse than my last high school, and so I spent the next two years doing the work (very easy) and during this time, I was bullied by @ssholes. Looking back, these guys were threatening me and others and harassing us. They...
Does anyone feel like you can't, or don't even have to right to, stick up for yourself and let people know what you need/want in order to feel comfortable and safe? Whether it was b/c no one ever really helped you learn how, or you tried to when you were growing up and were discouraged from doing so b/c it made you an "inconvenience" and "you couldn't always have it your way?"
I'll give an example....When I was about 13, I went to the hospital for some surgery. I took my favorite stuffed dolphin with me just so I would have a familiar object with me. When I was placed in the actual surgery room, I was pretty relaxed and comfortable with what was happening until the surgeon and nurses asked me to position myself in a certain way on the operating table. I was trying to move/ position my body in the way they wanted me to (while trying to stay decent in the flimsy hospital gown I had to change into earlier) and then one of the nurses noticed My Dolphin at my side. Just as I had...
I feel like my life isn't my own, ignored and fallen through the cracks. Like I'm not the captain of my own ship, stuck on someone else's auto-pilot.
And I just don't feel I have the energy to fight it or speak up for myself.
An ignored time-off request sending me on another spiral. Maybe I'm just over reacting.
But are policies not put into place in order to be followed and not ignored?
My S/O planned a birthday trip for me this weekend. He gave me a month's heads up, so that only slightly lessened the anxiety that trips/planning usually gets incited in myself.
It all comes down to the stress it causes me to ask for time off. Because in the past, no matter where I worked it always ends the same, with my requests being denied or ignored.
I should add, I am a line cook. So asking for a weekend day off, is always just "lol".
I requested the time off on March 1st. It was approved the same day by the owner/manager. Of course she didn't communicate that to my chef/kitchen...
We hear all about how Aspies often have a rigid adherence to routines, repetitive behaviors and maybe have difficulty with spontaneity and surprises. I haven't heard much discussion about schedules.
While I am not the most spontaneous person, I am also not particularly rigid with routines. Though I prefer to not have too many disruptions and changes, I can accommodate and be flexible to a point. However, I strongly dislike trying to adhere to a strict schedule. I am a daydreamy type, and my mind often focuses on my own thoughts, or what I am engaged in, rather than what is going on around me at the time. Consequently, I tend to have challenges with timeliness, switching activities, responding to the needs and requests of others.
This morning, my partner and I spent an hour and a half developing yet another schedule for me to follow, in order to keep on track with my various projects, our personal needs, and my work. My partner is adamant about the effectiveness, and necessity,...
I have always found death to be confusing. I don't get upset and am confused when others do. When my grandmother died (I was 13-14) I wasn't sad, I just felt inconvenienced. The same for anyone I've ever known who has died.
Even more confusing is when people are upset because people they don't know have died, like in the news. 9/11 was very confusing for me because I couldn't understand why people were so upset. They did not even live in the same country. Recently two teenagers died in my city (they were stupid and died because of it) and my mother was so upset, why? She didn't even know their families, let alone the kids.
Another example was in high school. My teacher was sad and told us that her bestfriends mom died. I asked her why she was crying when it wasn't her mother who died and it made her cry more and my classmates were angry with me. I don't understand why she could be upset. It would be reasonable if it was her mother, but not someone else's. Can anyone explain...
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