Wow, just wow, it took just 5 posts!

[Bella Pines]

Okay, so I have read many, many posts about a certain other forum that I think we all know the name of, being utterly toxic. The survivors often arrive here damaged, with no confidence.

Well, I am attracted to difficult situations and like to solve problems. I also happen to have a hide as thick as a rhino and most things, particularly trolling from strangers, wash straight off me. I am genuinely not bothered by it.

So I just had to join, for several reasons.

1. Curiosity, I didn't think it could possibly be that bad. I think it is!
2. Due to a 0.5% chance that I might actually be able to fix it. We are in the minority and we do need to stick together. The oldies among us need to teach the kids how to survive in this peculiar world.
3. I love the aspie mindset, we are clear, we are logical, I wish there were more of us! I would totally support an aspie breeding program, not me personally, been there, done that. So any forum or support group for us should be encouraged, supported and fixed.

But it took just FIVE posts before some cow was on my case, being derogatory and patronizing. Why would you do that? Why would you go out of your way to make other people's lives worst? When life is hard for us as it is?

So ultimately, I don't think I will last, I'm not sure how much toxicity I want to absorb. I also fully expect to get banned before the year is out.

But hell, I have to try. If only to add a small and brief ripple of positivity to the toxic swamp and maybe help just one aspie through a rough patch.

 

[tree]

You're referring to joining another site
to check out whether the day to day
experience coincided with what you'd
heard?

And *reverse troll* it, so to speak.

 

[SunnyDay16]

May I ask the name of this other site?

 

[Judge]

Vanna, give me a "W".

 

[Isadoorian]

May I ask the name of this other site?

It's one you and I know well Sunny;

 

[pamelaperejil]

Are you there under the same username? I'd like to know what you consider patronizing and condescending behavior.

Nevermind, I found it. Not your posts, per se.

Just took a quick glance. Not sure I've seen full on toxicity yet, though there does seem to be some gratuitous bickering.

 

[Kevin1968]

Perhaps it's because I recently discovered that others often misinterpret what I say and take offence (the usual "It's not what you said it's the way you said it"???) that I now give people the benefit of the doubt about whether or not they meant to cause offence.

However my wife also tells me how gullible I am and people take advantage of me!

 

[Tom]

If you want someone to go somewhere, warn them not to go there. ;p

 

[tree]

If you want someone to go somewhere, warn them not to go there. ;p

Made me think of:

 

[Butterfly88]

Sorry to hear that. If it's the site I'm thinking of I haven't had any problems there though I don't have many friends there either and I like this place much much better. I tend to blend in on forums a lot and don't seem to attract too many bullies, if I knew what the secret was to achieving that I'd tell you but I don't know.

 

[tducey]

I've been here 6 months now and find this to be a great forum for people with Autism and Asperger's. Great that a forum like this exists.

 

[Lady Lucifer]

I only skimmed through it for a like an hour, since another member here was complaining about that same forum. I don't see any harm in it. That being said, I am not minimizing other experiances. i see threads similar to what I see here. Stuff on science, nosepicking, getting along with others, etc. I haven't posted anything, but it dosen't seem any different than people here. We are spectrem, so we are going to vary in behavior.

 

[Ezra]

I've been there daily for 5 years and no scars to show for it. I will say one thing about the place; if you go there looking for trouble, you'll probably find it.

 

[Lady Lucifer]

I've been there daily for 5 years and no scars to show for it. I will say one thing about the place; if you go there looking for trouble, you'll probably find it.

Didn't you make a separate thread about a problem you were having on the same platform...?

 

[Ezra]

Didn't you make a separate thread about a problem you were having on the same platform...?

More about problems on my end of things in online interacting in general. Basically whining, which I do on rare occasions.

 

[Lady Lucifer]

Well, I'm glad you owned up to it.

 

[WittyAspie]

The world needs more people like you Bella.

 

[Ezra]

Probably I'm so used to the place, I'm too used to stuff people pick up on as being the norm.
A lot of the people who were there when I started out five years ago are long gone. One thing though about the place is here the highest post count is 27,000, whereas the highest post cont there is over 100,000. There's several who have huge post counts and have been there over 10 years. There are some very excellent people who are anchor members. But there's also riffraff that I don't think would get very far on this forum.

 

[Bella Pines]

From the other posts here, I haven't found the really nasty stuff yet, so I'l keep looking.

It's really the kids I'm the most worried about. I once had this ridiculous idea that I could shield my kids from the internet and could somehow control what they did. Then school came along and they developed their own opinions. Gah. So eventually after much soul searching I decided to let my kids roam free on the internet and stalk them quietly. It turns out there are tons of "probable..." kids on the internet, as young as 13, posting on forums. I worry how the perceived anonymity and trolling effects them, the ripples will travel to their adult life.

I've been watching Gotham recently on netflix and they put an interesting slant on how the baddies upbringing shaped what they became.

I like the term reverse trolling An internet llort? I wonder if it will catch on ...!

 

[Bella Pines]

Perhaps it's because I recently discovered that others often misinterpret what I say and take offence (the usual "It's not what you said it's the way you said it"???) that I now give people the benefit of the doubt about whether or not they meant to cause offence.

That there is aspie through and through.

A while back I tried to complement my husband on his health kick. I told him he doesn't look quite so scrawny any more and he's developing moobs. Apparently that was insulting...

So yes, it's so easy to unintentionally upset people, especially NTs. But he picks me up on it and I refine my phrasing, I like that, I learn.

But then there are the people who I haven't found yet, who intentionally cause offense. I think there are a number of reasons, such as they hate themselves and project that outward, or their parents were cruel and their neurology has associated cruelty with affection. I'm not sure if people in this category are reachable or would ever want to change, but then should they? Should perceived cruelty be allowed and accepted? It's just my personal belief system that says it's bad, but who am I to judge?

All in all quite fascinating.