Why I can't land a lover.

[NoKipAr on the run]

about the hentai thing, I'll stop, alright? I'll stop! and if I sound Skitzophrenic, it's because I have this Thing called Psychosis.

I won't look at disgusting stuff anymore, okay?

As for Anime conventions, I am aware that Cosplay is not Consent, and I am a very nice person and it's not like I'm a creep, alright?! And yes, My plan for my next Convention is to dress as Prince Zuko from Avatar, and the childishness? it's been a problem for me forever now!

I don't like spongebob as much as I did when I was 10, but I just got so upset when Steven Hillenberg died. But like I just love animation and... look! I'm doing my best! And As I know every single Relationship starts as a Friendship. dude, I'm not into Monsters. I HATE THE TENTACLE STUFF! and I ....I feel scared. I don't want to ...well as for the School thing, for starters, I never finished High School, and I need to finish up with Adult Basic Education, So I'm eventually going to College to learn animation, I've learned from the best as of my best friend is a graduate Himself.

yeah, This website or the internet in general doesn't seem to be the best place to find a girl, or whoever.

I cosplay A lot, and... I think that .... I just need a girlfriend before it's too late! soon it'll be too late because I'll sound like more of a loser with this! all of it!

okay....I'll control myself around Cashiers ect.

but for now, I just feel scared.

 

[NoKipAr on the run]

don't worry, I'm giving up porn,

I just love to animate, I'm learning all that I can. It's one thing to love drawing, but I want to be the best I can be in terms of animation. and you're right. nobody gets married and junk in their 20s being smiled upon anymore. My cousin and My mom told me that it's better to be 30 or 40 to marry.

Hell! people don't even marry anymore it's just Engagement and not a whole lot else, besides living together.


And yes, I am aware that my art sucks, but I am getting better with every draw. I am always improving. and I have a lot of Discretion. Control. I know this.

 

[Aspychata]

You are quite right. Marriages in America have completely dropped in numbers. Way less people do it. To many horrible divorce stories and marriage stories.

More woman work and are independent. More younger guys still live with mom and dad and work very part-time. Demographics have completely changed. I don't see anything wrong with comics. If you enjoy it, who cares.

There are many people who stumble thru in life trying to figure out where we fit in, will we ever have a relationship, will we be able to support ourselves doing what we feel passionate about. Keep doing your cartoons. Try offering your skills to nonprofit agencies for spreading their msg. Keep taking classes. Don't beat yourself up. We truly can be our worse enemy.

 

[Aspychata]

Read a lot of posts by frustrated males at this forum. Sometimes a guy says he wants a girlfriend but then you find out it was more like a bed romp not really girlfriend status. That has happened to me which makes me hesitant to date ever again only because there is a huge population of this particular male breed where l live. More woman prefer to be alone, we don't feel quite the need guys do so we tend to stay isolated and alone into old age.

 

[Aspychata]

This isn't really about me. This post is more general.

 

[Markness]

Read a lot of posts by frustrated males at this forum. Sometimes a guy says he wants a girlfriend but then you find out it was more like a bed romp not really girlfriend status. That has happened to me which makes me hesitant to date ever again only because there is a huge population of this particular male breed where l live. More woman prefer to be alone, we don't feel quite the need guys do so we tend to stay isolated and alone into old age.

My mother is one of the exceptions. She’s on her fourth marriage because the thought of being without a husband terrifies her.

 

[Aspychata]

@Markness

And for other woman, the thought of a husband terrifies us. But there are definitely woman who are this way. More typical of the older generation, when woman were housewives and not employed.

My mom stayed home but then by her late 50's, she got college degree and went on to working a very good job.

 

[rse92]

I could tell you that the way to attract women -- good women -- is to make yourself attractive to them. By that I mean, get serious and improve yourself. Get a good job. Get out of debt, save money and get in control of your finances. Lose weight, exercise, work out, get a haircut, wear clothes that a serious young man would wear, stop watching porn (or for that matter anime). Women want men who have act together, and the older you get the more you will realize it.

I could give you that advice. Would that be laying pearls before swine?

 

[Wulven]

If all else fails learn to cook really good food.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

If all else fails learn to cook really good food.

Exactly!

 

[Aspychata]

I think being truthful. Cooking is nice, but telling the truth is better. If you arent serious about them, it doesn't matter how good you cook.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I think being truthful. Cooking is nice, but telling the truth is better. If you arent serious about them, it doesn't matter how good you cook.

But then, with a good meal, I enjoy some nice wine, and, In vino veritas. ; -) Cooking, to me, is an expression of care for the people I'm with.

 

[Aspychata]

@Gerald Wigus
I had someone who cooked for me, but the caring part seemed to be lacking even though they are an excellent cook. I guess after almost 4 years, l wanted more commitment then just food.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

You're what, in your twenties? Don't worry about it. Just try to get a firm foundation in life, and figure out where you can best use your talents. Everything else will fall into place.

Stop panicking (easier said than done) and realize that you don't need a high school diploma to attend community college.

And no offense, but I really would ditch the cartoon thing. Just because you like something doesn't make it good for you or for society in general.

.....Breathe......

@Yeshuasdaughter : I find that I agree with much of what you say, but from my experience, the comment about getting a firm foundation in life and things will fall into place is far too optimistic for me. During the time I was struggling to meet somebody, isolated and lonely, I once believed that. I was working exceptionally hard to get a scientific career off the ground, denying myself things to be financially secure, driving a shitbox car because it was all I could afford . . . And . . . Nothing . . . Worked. I was never seen as valuable by the women I encountered. That really screwed me up with repercussions to this day.

 

[Au Naturel]

Infographics to the rescue!

 

[Suzette]

I can't answer for "most women" but for me the most attractive quality about a man is if he can care for himself and does not need mothering. Do your own laundry and clean up after yourself. Cook a meal. Do the grocery shopping! For gods sake, never, ever ask your partner to do something you can do for yourself!
Jeeze...this stuff is the bare minimum of human functionality but it seems many men don't even get that far.
N.Ds might have specific needs that are not accomodated in the statement above and a reasonable partner will work with that. I apologize if my rant seems insensitive in any way . It was driven by experiences that are not so nice. Just don't act entitled.

Porn isn't the problem, but being in a position of being in competition to that porn is a huge problem.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Jeeze...this stuff is the bare minimum of human functionality but it seems many men don't even get that far.

So very right. I have seen man-children going from living with their parents right into marriage without even learning to live independently. My brother was one, and his abilities and interests are, to put it mildly, childish and constrained. He is also one of those people who never wants to eat leftovers, because he can't cook and thinks that somebody should cook a new meal for him. He thinks that travel is going to a resort where he need not engage with locals and where experiences are prepackaged. I guess he is content to go through life as a poser. People like him make me feel happy I am not a NT.

 

[rse92]

I can't answer for "most women" but for me the most attractive quality about a man is if he can care for himself and does not need mothering. Do your own laundry and clean up after yourself. Cook a meal. Do the grocery shopping! For gods sake, never, ever ask your partner to do something you can do for yourself!
Jeeze...this stuff is the bare minimum of human functionality but it seems many men don't even get that far.
N.Ds might have specific needs that are not accomodated in the statement above and a reasonable partner will work with that. I apologize if my rant seems insensitive in any way . It was driven by experiences that are not so nice. Just don't act entitled.

Porn isn't the problem, but being in a position of being in competition to that porn is a huge problem.

Back in the day between marriages I did a fair amount of internet dating (how I met my current wife). In my profile I always stated "I have a mother and my children have a mother. I am not looking to fill either position." I got a lot of positive feedback for that.

 

[Au Naturel]

So very right. I have seen man-children going from living with their parents right into marriage without even learning to live independently. My brother was one, and his abilities and interests are, to put it mildly, childish and constrained. He is also one of those people who never wants to eat leftovers, because he can't cook and thinks that somebody should cook a new meal for him. He thinks that travel is going to a resort where he need not engage with locals and where experiences are prepackaged. I guess he is content to go through life as a poser. People like him make me feel happy I am not a NT.

If that were exclusive to NTs I would agree but there are lots of people on the spectrum who feel the same way. And there are plenty of NTs who don't feel that way.

What do women want in a man? The question is an impossible one. There are as many answers to that as there are women. Some want a bad boy and some want a "goody two-shoes." There are romantics and there are hard pragmatists. Some want a coconspirator and others want a protector. Some want to be held tight and some want maximal freedom. Some want an adventure and some want a quiet life in the suburbs. Some don't want a man at all.

All one can do is to be a version of yourself that you like. With luck, you'll encounter another person who likes it too.

“I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.”

― Fritz Perls

 

[RobZombiefan]

First of all,

I obsess and ask questions, mainly questions merely meant to start a conversation like "what are you watching on Netflix/Youtube ectectect" Or "what's your favorite x?" "Do you like X Y or Z?" stuff like that. I often times flood people with questions, and every time I want to start anything, relationship wise, I always get so clingy and I am always getting the same advice: "Start as a friend first". People mustve never had heard of Friendzoning. but then there's the fact that I have a hard time convincing people I'm Bisexual. They naysay and naysay and naysay about my sexuality and preference. and I can't prove it to anyone. though I am amply open about it.


and another thing, I watch a ton of Porn, like Anime Hentai, which would drive away any girl, I just come up to girls I don't even know and really HOW CAN I GET A GIRL IF I DON'T GET TO KNOW HER!? there's this Psychosis in my mind telling me I'm a virgin and that I'll never get a woman. hell! I'll date a Pansexual girl if I have to! I mean, I've been a romantic since I was 5 or something! Kindergarten!


If I get one more person who likes my post on the dating thread where everyone on the thread share their preferences and what not, likes and dislikes, our favorite Whatevs, I am telling them, "Okay, whoever you are, I do not care, You are officially on Trial Status, Meet me IRL when Covid Ends, and then we'll talk."

you got that?

either way, I don't care if I have to put up with anymore of this, My life is spiraling and everything is crap for me right now, okay? Im going back to school and I don't know when, I don't have a job and I'm almost broke from Responsible spending and I still know nothing about how to make my imagination come to life on paper! I love drawing, but I never ...................ugh. nevermind.


But wait there's more! if you meet me IRL and you catfish me....I'm calling the police.


AND WHY CAN'T I GET THE EDARD COMICS TAKEN IN BY ANYONE!?

Try friends with benefits