Why do you do things that send you into meltdown?

[Fitzo]

My mother is near same age, I don't do Xmas with her as it's such a minefield but visit at other times.She has plenty of friends.

99.9% is too high to allow you to do this, surely? It's not a risk, it's a certainty! Unless you have someone who will go with you? Or unless you can give up any thoughts of your own needs for the time required, and variously praise, listen to, and prioritise your mother? I find this possible if I know the time I can leave, and as you say, bearing in mind they are frailer and so on.

Next year you could make plans to be elsewhere before your brother can!

Re meltdown, yes I nowadays mostly avoid situations that will cause these, though the unexpected can trip me up, then I tend to try to escape asap, and without having been rude... best strategy.

I'm hoping someone else will be there, but that is by no means a certainty. If not I'm trying to think of an excuse not to go. I really don't think I can face it!
It's not that Christmas is a particularly bad time, it's always a bad time. I stay away as much as possible. Even a phone call is a minefield.

 

[tlc]

I avoid those kind of things for the most part. I live in a quiet place where people don't bother me. And where there is little to no noise or traffic. But I have to go out and do things to maintain a life. I have to work, have to go shopping, have to go to dr appts and things. I do what I can to do those things on the least busy times. They know me at work, that I'm not going to be a highly social person and I've been there long enough it's ok. Really the hardest part is family gatherings, but I do it because they've done enough for me and I feel I should return the favor, I also feel good about returning the favor to them. Even though I may be stuck in a house for an afternoon with noise, sports, and animals.

 

[Bronzelincolns]

you gotta do what you gotta do.

 

[Erik Bennet]

when people put me on a guilt trip for not working but when i try to get a job im rejected or its too difficult and then people try to put me on guolt trip by saying all the long hours they did and try to say i am lazy and that makes me so mad because i cant find work and they can easy because they can socalize and they try to make me feel guilty because i am at home why they go out and finding a job for me is like a needle in a hystack

 

[UberScout]

For me its more like a lack of foresight that something I'm doing has the chance to induce rage in me and less the fact of oh my god why is Dark Souls 2 taking so long to start.

 

[Nervous Rex]

If you know certain things send you over the edge why do you do them?

Because I want what I want when I want it. You could easily ask the same question of alcoholics or drug addicts.

For me, the biggest factor in all my meltdowns is fatigue. I've known it for years, but I would stay up an hour or more later than I should because I wanted to finish a movie, book, project, etc. I knew I would pay for it the next day, but I wanted what I was doing more than I wanted a good day the next day. I would always think, "Everyone else at work does fine when they're tired. I'll just push through it like them."

Since being diagnosed, I've realized that this is one of those things that I'll never be able to do just like everyone else. And that means that, no matter what, I need my sleep. I've made it a much bigger priority. It's easier to go to bed when I tell myself, "If you don't go to bed on time, you're going to have a rough day tomorrow and there will be nothing you can do about it then."

My days have been a lot better since I made that change. I do miss that extra hour or two to myself, though.

 

[disconnected]

@Nervous Rex
I’m very similar. I require a lot of sleep. Also if I’m hungry I’m much more likely to have an issue

 

[Fino]

Because I want what I want when I want it. You could easily ask the same question of alcoholics or drug addicts.

For me, the biggest factor in all my meltdowns is fatigue. I've known it for years, but I would stay up an hour or more later than I should because I wanted to finish a movie, book, project, etc. I knew I would pay for it the next day, but I wanted what I was doing more than I wanted a good day the next day. I would always think, "Everyone else at work does fine when they're tired. I'll just push through it like them."

Since being diagnosed, I've realized that this is one of those things that I'll never be able to do just like everyone else. And that means that, no matter what, I need my sleep. I've made it a much bigger priority. It's easier to go to bed when I tell myself, "If you don't go to bed on time, you're going to have a rough day tomorrow and there will be nothing you can do about it then."

My days have been a lot better since I made that change. I do miss that extra hour or two to myself, though.

My identical experience!

 

[Coupe]

CW: Self-injury mention

For me, I guess it's because of my need to please people and make them happy with me - people really only enjoy my company when I'm offering to help, do/fetch/give/clean, etc. so that's what I do. It sucks, but it's what my life amounts to. No one's really interested in getting to know *me* as a person, but I'm slowly coming to terms with that. I don't deserve safe people/spaces unless I perform as being "normal" well enough. It'd be great if my family understood that I don't *choose* to be badly affected by certain kinds of sensory input or have meltdowns that lead to self-injury, but oh well.

.....Sorry I'm more negative than usual; I'm not my usual cheerful self today.

 

[Moomin]

The want to overcome obstacles and necessity force me to place myself in situations. Overtime, I’ve learnt that I can manage a few situations better through a lot of trial and error and meltdowns by following techniques *and also by being pushed by my psychologists to do it. So as an example going shopping at off peak times, with my favorite music in a playlist and wearing a favorite clothing item or my tags help me. Of course I’m also drained afterwards when I do these things but I’m relieved that I’ve done it. If I’m placed in an unfamiliar situation or have one forced on me, I struggle to the point that a meltdown will happen if I can’t get away to calm down.

 

[tducey]

I've really never had meltdowns. I think we are creatures of habit and just because something causes a meltdown for us at 1 time we really don't learn our lesson. I guess that's the best way to explain that.