Why do I matter to absolutely nobody?

[Walsie]

Ps. I know of someone who helped at least 30 people with their lives & atleast half of those people wished him dead, didn't help him. They were selfish & felt they were not obligated to return the favor . One person out of them all returned the favor & tried to help him back during his struggles.


I use to help others all the time, until I read the "nice girl syndrome " It is now time for me to take care of myself like I did everyone else .this thread was enlightening . I don't think it's always us some times other people are poo

The 30 people person; I hope she didn't get betrayed as well as used. People are rubbish.

Nice girl syndrome; yea, and aren't we conditioned to be that since us ladies are tots. Fortunately, I was always too selfish to take care of anyone but those who'd proven themselves worthy, so I was rarely used. As stated, people are rubbish.

Progster: That reminds me of this acquaintance of mine who was crying at a prayer meeting because she had a birthday party and people didn't come or didn't state they weren't coming. I invited her to my birthday party half expecting her not to come, and not to say she's not coming. Behold. A few others I had invited also didn't, so my 21st was disappointing, since it only confirmed I was of no value to them. It's a good way to test people, and hence feel no obligation to them.

 

[Progster]

Progster: That reminds me of this acquaintance of mine who was crying at a prayer meeting because she had a birthday party and people didn't come or didn't state they weren't coming. I invited her to my birthday party half expecting her not to come, and not to say she's not coming. Behold. A few others I had invited also didn't, so my 21st was disappointing, since it only confirmed I was of no value to them. It's a good way to test people, and hence feel no obligation to them.

I don't know who I'd invite if I had a party. I just have acquaintances, no close friends, and I doubt that they would turn up. I suspect that some of my partner's friends would come, but because they want to have a drink and socialise with each other and with my partner, not because they are interested in me.

 

[Annayoung]

The 30 people person; I hope she didn't get betrayed as well as used. People are rubbish.

Nice girl syndrome; yea, and aren't we conditioned to be that since us ladies are tots. Fortunately, I was always too selfish to take care of anyone but those who'd proven themselves worthy, so I was rarely used. As stated, people are rubbish.

Progster: That reminds me of this acquaintance of mine who was crying at a prayer meeting because she had a birthday party and people didn't come or didn't state they weren't coming. I invited her to my birthday party half expecting her not to come, and not to say she's not coming. Behold. A few others I had invited also didn't, so my 21st was disappointing, since it only confirmed I was of no value to them. It's a good way to test people, and hence feel no obligation to them.

The 30 people person she sort of did. She forgave him. They are still friends she refused to let him slip away. To her this friend is the son she never had. He doesn't have a family that takes care of him. She is making certain he turns out fine. He has some sort of psychological issues that really need to be looked at.

Nice girl syndrome : you are wise & know more than I . My astrology chart says I had to put others before me in my past life which is why care giving comes so naturally to me. Iam learning to only help those who are worthy as you say. Which is correct. You should be in your best interest. If you aren't who will? Most likely not the people who are rubbish as we have both agreed .


Ps on your advice to progster again you are wiser than I & I am learning from you ! You speak truth & make a lot of sense . I love when people do that haha

 

[Annayoung]

I don't know who I'd invite if I had a party. I just have acquaintances, no close friends, and I doubt that they would turn up. I suspect that some of my partner's friends would come, but because they want to have a drink and socialise with each other and with my partner, not because they are interested in me.

:'( Iam sad for your sadness .. Life is cruel . My heart goes out to you!

 

[Aspieistj]

It isn't that we don't have emotions or even empathy. It's just that we don't likely project our feelings the way a social majority expects and understands. So to them, there must be something "wrong" with us. Never mind we're just neurologically different.

And so we pay a price for being ourselves. It's a lifetime of being alienated by our own species. And then to mitigate the discomfort we put on varying degrees of acting, to fit in the best we can. And in the process, alienate ourselves. Talk about a vicious cycle! It's what has likely made me feel the same most of my life...with rare moments of feeling socially "validated" until I'm inevitably discarded by friends and lovers. Often because we cannot "adapt" to their level of understanding and acceptance.

We get you, poorlittlefish.

I totally agree!!!! Again, we are "us" and they are "them" and while "them" don't necessarily dislike us, "us" aren't terribly important to them. I am certain that anyone who is well assimilated into the mix we have in the US, but have relatives who are very much still "over there" in their identities see how easily some people remove themselves from the full group. I don't want to use a nationality and offend any group, but my husband's people were from Planet X and always felt more comfortable with other "Xers". They never really identified with the rest of us in the US melting pot. NTs FEEL the difference between us and them and many are not willing or able to view us as just people. We will always be THEM to those people. I don't think they don't care, they simply don't identify with anyone very different from themselves. Also, I bet many NTs find us difficult to approach or identify with. Neither group is better but the group most like one's self is simply more easily understood. As long as no one is openly hostile to you I think you will have to wait for a very long time until Aspies are simply viewed as ordinary people. I believe it will happen someday but there will always be a group who isn't readily allowed to join the majority. I will continue to live "out" and hope it helps our cause to raise awareness of how difficult it can be to be different, for any reason. I don't want to be assimilated into a huge mush of "normals"--I just hope for the time when "different" will be better accepted and tolerated. I think if I were still teaching school I would find a time for a discussion in which every student had the opportunity to tell what they believe makes them a little different from everyone else. I would love to hear the various responses.hey--I play the bassoon!!!

 

[MicroWeiss]

Just imagine all these people paying attention to you and fawning over you. It might feel good for a while, but it wouldn't change the fact that they are the same people who ignore others and are mostly self-absorbed. You would eventually realize that the attention they were giving you was fake and in their own self interest. For example, a coworker pretending to like you for political reasons, such as making the boss think he/she is warm-hearted for talking to the lesser employees, only doing it to look good in front of others. A coworker pretending to like you so he/she can get the dirt on you and trash talk you later. A coworker pretending to like you so he/she can manipulate you into doing his/her work.

The list goes on and on, and I have experienced everything I mentioned here and more. It would be nice if others showed an interest in you, but 100% of the time they are doing it out of political motives and self-interest. Good luck finding anyone who isn't.