Why are some girls so shy?

[FromEquestria2LA]

Lately, I've been interested in a girl from Florida whom is a friend of a friend. Her mom is willing to talk to me, but the girl herself? Not so much. I am harmless, and yet she seems so shy. Before you post your answers, I would request that you please refrain from posting anything snide or hurtful.

I am interested in her, but yet despite the fact I cannot read her mind, she doesn't talk to me too much. What is a guy to do?

 

[Suzanne]

Hi there

Could it be that she is an aspie too?

You may be harmless but you are a chap and unless girls are very secure with themselves, they are naturally shy around guys.

I was chronically shy around boys, to the extent that I would cross the road, if they were walking past me!

Unfortunately for you, it will take you approaching her and saying that you like her and would love to take her on a date. Honestly you do not need to read her, to take her on a date.

I have learned to read people, but before I even knew I was an aspie, I started dating when I was 16 and although it was pretty painful not being able to tell if a guy liked me, I some how got through it all lol

My husband was terrible with me. He would mock me and really gave me the impression that he did not like me and thus, a shock to discover he fancied the heck out of me lol

The fact she is shy, is actually a good thing, because it shows her to be sensitive and thus, she will accept you as an aspie.

Go on, take the plunge and ask her out on a date ie a drink of coffee or something like that.

 

[FromEquestria2LA]

^ Yes, she is.

 

[JasonG]

To add on what Suzanne says, if you take her out and things don't work out. That's fine too. Even NT dates usually don't pan out to long term relationship.

Besides, if she isn't into you, you wouldn't want somebody who didn't really like you that way. A relationship where you love somebody but someone else is pretending is a recipe for failure

 

[JasonG]

As for an aspie chick, I have never met a woman with the same condition as I do that was interested in me. Sure would like to try though

 

[Ravkrat]

hm I've only dated once and that was a chica that I'd never talked to before then.. my point is that if you like her and you think she wont chase you down with a pitchfork or anything else like it then go for it. dating someone is like going into a cold shower its a shock at first and very uncomfortable but if you can outlast those two things maybe you'll hit it off with her.

Has for how to actually date her.. eh I'm terrible with this kind of advice but don't try force things, by that I mean don't force yourself to do things you normally wouldn't then again maybe you already knew this and I'm just rambling for ramblings sake >_>

 

[Warmheart]

Guys, and dating, can be intimidating, you know! For Aspie females, we know we're challenged with communication, sensory issues, and social skills. Dating takes us out of our environment (LOVE my Aspie Cave!) to public places full of glare, background noise, unmet expectations, changes in plans, and... people! Yes, we want love, sharing, and snuggles, too, but we're often quite cautious about dating. A patient man may win our hearts. Gently, gently....

Why not ask the Mom if her daughter might like to accompany you to someplace quiet and pleasant, like a science museum? Happy Aspie nerdettes like myself would love that.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

Hmmm. I'll share a story. My son, in high school, once told a girl (whose friends already told his friends that she really liked him) that he would go out with her as soon as she asked him.

Whereupon all her friends went into that delicious anticipatory scheming mode that girls do and she did ask him out (after six weeks or so of giggling, blushing, and eye-rolling) and they went to two proms before breaking up.

I'd leave her mother out of it, especially if she's a teen. Ask her to go out and do something specific with a known time to be back. Possibly making an option to go out with one or two friends of hers, to make it safer.

One thing a lot of girls know instinctively, and which some find out the hard way: there is no such thing as a safe guy. You know things about yourself that she doesn't. Shy is also a safety measure.

 

[Tom]

Well there's no way to know what she's thinking. Even if she told you what she was thinking you still wouldn't know.

You can't very well get to know her if she won't talk with you. So I would suggest making a few more attempts to try and have conversations. Just get talking, about anything that gets her talking (like her interests). But if she doesn't respond, take it as she doesn't wish to and respect her wishes.