Why am I like this?!

[RayRay28]

I dont know if you other aspies are like this, but I have trouble holding back my anger and my thoughts, especially in social situations. Example: I was at our local Pumpkin Patch today, and every time something would go wrong, like say I couldn't sit somewhere or get a good picture, I was lashing out and raising my voice about it, kind of having a tantrum, if you will. Then my mom and sister would say stuff like "god you're so embarrassing" and "You're not coming with us next time". I mean, damn, I'm sorry! I really don't mean to act like that! I embarrass myself all the time, I embarrass others. I shouldn't be allowed to socialize at all. I shouldn't be allowed to speak.

And that's another thing....If I say something and nobody responds to me, it pisses me off more than anything because I think they don't want to hear it. It drives me crazy! I feel like nobody wants to listen to what I have to say. And when they don't answer I repeat myself because I think they didn't hear me. Then everyone's like "i heard you I just didn't want to say anything back". Wonderful, you don't want to hear what I have to say. That's what I think to myself. Is any other aspie this way? What can I do to help this behavior? Should I just be a recluse the rest of my life?

 

[Rocco]

I can be exactly the same way , and kind of did act this way my own self this morning.
I try to repeat things in my head before saying them, but mostly there's no filter.
It does bother others, even knowing this it's still almost like a compulsion.
I don't know how to fix this either, but I'll stay tuned and confirm you are not alone in the "crabby" attitude on occasions.

 

[Cali Cat]

I think I'm a little like this too (maybe more than a little) ... at least that's what my business partner/friend tells me. I know I'm cranky, crabby, cantankerous and just generally grumpy, but I can see where I take it farther sometimes. It doesn't bother me so much around friends because they know the deal with me. They know I have minor explosions that blow over quickly. I've sometimes embarrassed myself in public, though, by throwing mini-tantrums. That's when it really upsets me. I don't like to draw attention to myself in public or to be seen as a whiner. I don't know what to do about it in the moment. It seems to get the better of me. No filter, like Rocco said.

 

[photoaddict]

My brother is like this. I only do it when I'm tired because being tired takes away all my filters and control. I tend to mutter to myself, anyway, so people are less likely to notice. I wonder if it would be possible to just lower the volume, while still talking? I wouldn't know, since muttering has always been my go-to, but it might be worth a try?

As far as people not responding to you, they're being rude. I've made it very clear that if I say something and no one responds, I have to assume I wasn't heard. With people you're around often, I'd tell them that and say "even 'OK' is enough for me to know I was heard. You don't have to say a ton". I think the reason I assume I wasn't heard is an aspie thing. I mean, I don't hear a *lot* of what happens around me and am always in trouble with someone for "ignoring" them. So, logically, I assume that others are not responding because they didn't hear me.

 

[RayRay28]

exactly, photoaddict! I tell them that! I tell them a simple "ah" or "mmm" would suffice. but then they tell me "well if we do that you're just gonna get mad and think we didn't care what you said". Nobody in my family really gets me.

 

[Peace]

"What Happens", is not as important as "Why It Happened". It would be helpful to recognize a few things. You are different, We are different. We understand things differently. What we see, we believe, just as they do. They are different, Not Wrong. We are different, Not Wrong. You are over frustrated from lack of social connection to them, just as they are frustrated from lack of it to you. It is not logical that this will change, so to get the social interaction that you desire, working to understand and forgive these people while helping them to understand you seems a more likely route to achieving this. Disappointment comes from expectation, expectation is imposing our idea of how things should be on everyone else. Winning over your anger is possible but to defeat your enemy you must understand your enemy.
Remember this as well. Although you feel alone in your place, you are not alone in this world. We are many and we are everywhere. We understand each other like a group of scientists, or a group of great chess players, scattered throughout society. I have found that certain thing in life are worth the sacrifice required to obtain them. Look not at the things, but at all things. Work to change that which you do not like, and find peace.