Who do I call to help me with money-based family matters?

[Aspychata]

I just feel that it is sad that we live in a society where it is so easy to leave some basic human needs unmet. Sometimes I am confused by the dance we do to connect with another for some honest intimacy. I do not know where or how I learned not to objectify women, but I did so in some unhealthy ways. Starting to date, I did not know how to move down the path towards intimacy and was absolutely afraid of disrespecting those I dated. That feeling also interfered with my asking out a very nice woman I was infatuated with because of the sexual feelings I had about her. I could see how a fantasy would substitute for the sometimes harsh reality of a relationship, especially with some of the social deficits that ASD saddles us with.

I agree with this. Those feelings do happen to us.

 

[Stardust Parade]

Why don’t you get off your butt and get a job if you want that crap so bad? And a rubber doll is crap, no offense. Obviously you have no concept of money or how to prioritize your life and probably never will.

 

[Aspychata]

I think we can be kind to people and help suggest possible ways for them to look at things. To call people names doesn't seem helpful. I didn't think things thru as a young adult. My poor choices dearly cost me. Maturity has brought me a lot of insight and acceptance.

 

[Cartoondude135]

Why don’t you get off your butt and get a job if you want that crap so bad? And a rubber doll is crap, no offense. Obviously you have no concept of money or how to prioritize your life and probably never will.

Were you paying attention to my post? I DID use to work as a bottle depot worker. But then the pandemic struck. That's because mom is afraid I'll bring home Omicron, so she decided to pull me out of working there - at least at the time there was no vaccine. The place she works at composes of just her and her brother working alone together in a small room with no one else in the vicinity to transmit the virus. The places I want to work are more frequented by bigger groups of people and I only have 2 Pfizer shots. That's why I'm stuck home.

Plus, she works 12 hours for 6 days straight. Due to that, I feel frozen in time like a clock with a dead battery who's replacement date keeps getting postponed.

 

[Luca]

I give myself a weekly spending limit.
When I was really struggling, it was about $25 per week (for “non-essential” items, which your doll would fit into the category of.)
Now it’s about $50 for non-essential items, and I try to stay significantly under that limit.

The only “non-essential” things I really buy are books and collectible antiques.
Everything else I earn goes to essential items and dog expenses.

My parents help me out with medical bills, even though I don’t live in their house. My medical bills are ridiculous. :/

I will also note that I have a job and earn income (I run a business.)

 

[Trophonius]

I think you should move alone, be independent, and only then buy all the sex-dolls you want.

I don't disapprove the use of sex-dolls at all. Sex toys are fun, go have fun if you want to. But if you're living with someone else, and you're tight on money, the person you're living with will reasonably oppose such a unnecesary purchase. If it were a roomate probably wouldn't matter, because if you don't have money to make basic purchases (food for example) they can just ignore you, it's your problem, but your mother can't ignore you if you happen to run out of money.

OMG. I just processed some of this. Have you asked your mother about how she feels about this? I know of NO woman who would not be disturbed by a son who sees women as objects, mere receptacles for their lust. I cannot think that your mother raised you to think that.

I think we all objectify the opposite sex, to some extent. Both men and women do this. There is nothing disturbing in the use of sex toys. I'm more disturbed by the priorities OP has.

 

[Gerontius]

Some guy apparently thought this was funny enough to post on reddit's Just Neckbeard Things. OP, go check out your warm reception in the comment section. If you were getting any more roasted you'd be a rack of ribs at a Dixieland barbecue.

No, I'm not the one who posted it on Reddit. That would be all you, and (mirabile dictu!) a real, live, flesh and blood woman, evaluating your coping strategy.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I think we all objectify the opposite sex, to some extent. Both men and women do this. There is nothing disturbing in the use of sex toys. I'm more disturbed by the priorities OP has.

You are correct. I try not to use such objectification to color my thoughts or to be sexually selfish. Yes, sex toys are fun and they are part of our play now, yet they do not distract from enjoying each other's responses.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

I want to order love dolls, but mom disapproves for the following: the money in my bank account is for emergency purposes - due to the inflation crisis costing us more funds for bare necessities, the pandemic is still here and although the omicron wave settled, it may rise again, and she says if I want 2 dolls, she needs me to get my own house to rent and see if I can support myself financially. This money is my money, from my years of work at the bottle depot. But now, due to the inflation, she wants to save it for the bare necessities. But she claims most of it now is from her savings, even though she sold an apartment recently, which should now supply her with enough proceeds to last her for a while.

She still refuses to help me order them as she wants a cheaper brand of love dolls. She claims "silicone is just silicone", but this silicone is much different from other love doll silicone as - if made under the right season, can last literally forever and if you handle it properly. But I keep telling her there's no other brand of love dolls that look like what I'm going after. You know how long I've been searching for the perfect girl from my fantasy world? Never, in a million years, did I think I could actually forge a girl right from my own imagination. Well now, I can create her or them right there! But that kind of cost doesn't come cheap. As the golden rule is: The more you need, the more it will cost you. Plus, this is my future she's looking at and she wants her son to have a happy ending once she passes. But right now, I'm not happy due to her rejection of a special, yet explicit but safe goal I want to accomplish: intimately meeting the girls of my dreams. As normal girls on average wouldn't do that as that would be deemed rape and leads to jail charges.

Speaking of passes, any day could be the day she never sees the light of tomorrow/leaves me... permanently; eventually, this condo unit will all be mine, so I don't feel like gathering even more money to find a cheap and affordable bachelor pad, let alone move just to invite some lifeless girls I desire as I've already got cozy in this ground floor condo. You really never know when your time is up.

So if there's any support workers or lawyers in Vancouver BC, Canada that supports this type of situation, please reply ASAP.


To help answer some potential questions, here's some answers below:

First, can I regain full control of my own bank account? If I can, how?

Next, this money I earned is from my old bottle depot job at Regional Recycling while half of it is from my government autism fund support.

Third, my mom help me create my bank account as she has her own separate bank account. I even have my own RBC card to access it. But she does most of the checking on my account via her iPhone. That's the part that's impeding me from doing whatever I want with my own hard-earned money.

Fourth, I have the RBC app and there's an RBC bank branch nearby.

Fifth,the place I want to get the sex doll from does not use credit cards, they use SWIFT or wire transfer.

Sixth, although this bank account she help me make is mine, she's currently in control of it via her iPhone RBC app. She can transfer funds from my bank account to hers and vice versa if she has to.

Seventh, yes, I can make decisions about my account savings on my own.

Eighth, no, to make large purchases, she doesn't need to approve them from my account. I just need her permission to order something and she does the rest as she knows how the controls of an online mobile banking app works. But here in this case, she says no to this order request.

Ninth, yes, she has my credentials (bank card number and password).

And tenth, yes, she is feeding me and supplying all the bare necessities, so due to that, I basically get to live here for free. She even called me a leech for "using money from her" even though I haven't purchased anything unnecessary as of today - at least not yet. She used to work as a banquet server, but she got laid off due to the pandemic. So now she works at a plastic bag factory and she isn't making as much as she use to. So basically the financial stress is getting to her and that's what's causing her to reject my next order request. I'm already under a roof, supplied with food, etc. I just need a booster shot and a very decent job to show her I'm no money leech and that I am spending accordingly. Due to my autism, I can't explain clearly. Also, since she's 56.5, she retires in 3.5 years from now. So she won't earn anymore money by then.

Dear @Cartoondude135

I suggest you to contact Netflix, Amazon, HBO and some other movie makers platforms. Many of them are looking for autistic movies ideas. Tell them your case.

If they happen to make a movie of it, you will gain enougth money to buy the dolls and also can save money, and buy some present to your mom.

I would happily pay my hard earned money to see such a movie.