• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

When special interests are your only reason for living

Admittedly insurance coverage varies greatly, but even then, there are a lot of guides and resources available as well that may not have fees attached.

I understand you say that your mother isn't willing to speak with her friend. But that wouldn't stop you from approaching them, or anyone else on your own, would it? Sometimes we have to take some steps outside of our comfort zone to get where we want to go. Perhaps there might be organizations (and not necessarily local) who can help with contacts and information?

As you noted yourself, age is not something that would hold you back. Many professional programs want their students to come from a variety of walks of life, and so being a mature student with an unorthodox background can actually be a potential advantage. If you haven't already, I'd suggest you try talking to as many admissions advisors at as many schools as you can (and even consider overseas ones, if the credentials are portable back home - I know of MDs who went to schools in the Caribbean or Australia before returning for their residency) to see what they want, and make yourself as suitable and as interesting a candidate as you can.

As @paloftoon noted, the main disadvantage with starting later is that you may have less time to actually work in the field. But if that's what you want to do, then by all means go for it! I've seen many people in their 60s retire, and then venture out to start a completely new career out of personal interest. And if there's one thing people on the spectrum are good it, is getting really good at their special interests.

I want to add to @Stardust Parade's comments and agree that it's not unusual for people to take a longer path to a certain career.

I'll use nursing as an example. The standard path to be an RN (registered nurse) in my area is to complete a 4 year BScN degree. Some enter from high school, whereas others may have other backgrounds and experiences.

But it's quite common for many to spend ~1.5 years to get a certificate in being a care aid, another ~1.5 years from there in a bridging program to become a practical nurse, then 2.5-3 years in another bridging program to get their four year degree and become a registered nurse.

And many of those in the path are working along the way - which helps them earn money and gain experience in related fields that helps both solidify their school applications and confirm their interest in the field. And for those doing the program part time, the completion times can be even longer.

There are also many who take the long path who were trained as and have experience as a RN overseas, but on not having their credentials recognized here, started over from scratch. I take inspiration from their efforts and dedication and hope you do as well.

I don't even have an associate's degree. And it took forever to get a high school diploma because I got sick when I was supposed to graduate and my parents wouldn't help me find a GED program. I didn't graduate high school until I was 30. I'm still learning how to drive but seeing how all the driving instructors love to literally scream at me and make me shut down; then scream at me again, I'm starting to wonder that will even be possible. I do not do so well when people scream at me. I just shut down. I think I may have some form of PTSD. Traditional talk therapy doesn't work for me. No one understands how to work with autistic people. Not with my insurance anyway.
 
I don't even have an associate's degree. And it took forever to get a high school diploma because I got sick when I was supposed to graduate and my parents wouldn't help me find a GED program. I didn't graduate high school until I was 30. I'm still learning how to drive but seeing how all the driving instructors love to literally scream at me and make me shut down; then scream at me again, I'm starting to wonder that will even be possible. I do not do so well when people scream at me. I just shut down. I think I may have some form of PTSD. Traditional talk therapy doesn't work for me. No one understands how to work with autistic people. Not with my insurance anyway.
Maybe being a vet isn't for you. Try finding other interests. Experiment and explore.
 
I've tried finding new special interests and just regular interest for years. Decades even. Nothing ever appealed to me as much as being a veterinarian did even though I desperately wanted to find something else that would be easier. Nothing else just clicked.
 
'

It's that kind of talk from people that makes me feel suicidal. It's not helpful. I've come here seeking help not another reason to feel suicidal.

I don't think he was trying to be mean, just commenting that since you've had such a hard time getting the education you have gotten, maybe you are asking too much of yourself to think you "have to" get more and go into this field? God knows we are all too hard on ourselves all too often. I know it is heartbreaking to realize a lifelong dream isn't doable, but are you just adding to your pain by pushing yourself too hard?

Maybe something else in the same field would work better? Something that still allows for the contact with animals in a similar way, but that is more attainable? Just a thought. I know nothing about the field, but a fair amount about readjusting goals and pathways to goals.

I know it is hard, as autistics, to switch our minds out of something once we get it set on something, and I know seeing other options and possibilities except those right in front of us is equally hard. But sometimes life makes it necessary. If we're lucky, and have a support system around us, (even if we disagree with them at times), someone or multiple ones can help us make the mental redirect.

I hope you manage to work things out.
 
I don't think he was trying to be mean, just commenting that since you've had such a hard time getting the education you have gotten, maybe you are asking too much of yourself to think you "have to" get more and go into this field? God knows we are all too hard on ourselves all too often. I know it is heartbreaking to realize a lifelong dream isn't doable, but are you just adding to your pain by pushing yourself too hard?

Maybe something else in the same field would work better? Something that still allows for the contact with animals in a similar way, but that is more attainable? Just a thought. I know nothing about the field, but a fair amount about readjusting goals and pathways to goals.

I know it is hard, as autistics, to switch our minds out of something once we get it set on something, and I know seeing other options and possibilities except those right in front of us is equally hard. But sometimes life makes it necessary. If we're lucky, and have a support system around us, (even if we disagree with them at times), someone or multiple ones can help us make the mental redirect.

I hope you manage to work things out.

It's not that I can't, it's that no one will help. You need so many hours of experience in an actual vet's office to even be considered for vet school. No vet will so much as let me clean floors....just watch. You need so many hours of clinical experience for tech school as well.
 
'

It's that kind of talk from people that makes me feel suicidal. It's not helpful. I've come here seeking help not another reason to feel suicidal.

I don't think he was trying to be mean, just commenting that since you've had such a hard time getting the education you have gotten, maybe you are asking too much of yourself to think you "have to" get more and go into this field? God knows we are all too hard on ourselves all too often. I know it is heartbreaking to realize a lifelong dream isn't doable, but are you just adding to your pain by pushing yourself too hard?

Maybe something else in the same field would work better? Something that still allows for the contact with animals in a similar way, but that is more attainable? Just a thought. I know nothing about the field, but a fair amount about readjusting goals and pathways to goals.

I know it is hard, as autistics, to switch our minds out of something once we get it set on something, and I know seeing other options and possibilities except those right in front of us is equally hard. But sometimes life makes it necessary. If we're lucky, and have a support system around us, (even if we disagree with them at times), someone or multiple ones can help us make the mental redirect.

I hope you manage to work things out.
Wolf is correct. I wasn't trying to be mean. I was just saying my thoughts on the matter and giving the best advice that I could possibly articulate.

Maybe you find yourself unable to find new interests because you are too focused on becoming a vet? Try teaching yourself new skills, such as cooking, reading, or programming or something. You needn't choose a path and stick to it forever. There are other options out there.
 
Uh, thanks for the advice about what to do instead if I don't make it to veterinary school. I know your hearts are in the right place; but honestly I do not appreciate it when people tell me what I could do instead. One of my problems related to this issue is people telling me what I could do instead. Veterinary technician, assistant, researcher, zoo keeper, etc. DVM or VMD is my goal, my only goal. I'll most likely be an assistant for training and experience, that is if if I can ever find a vet who will give me the chance. I was having problems with this pre covid. Thank you, but DVM is my only goal. Than maybe move to South Africa and work at this meerkat rehabilitator. They actually let you hold and touch them unlike at a zoo. I don't like zoos. They don't let you touch the animals. Even the little ones that can't seriously hurt you. If all I can do is look, I might as well save my money, stay home and just watch YouTube.




My friend from DeviantArt did it for me.

I appreciate that being a vet is your passion. Sometimes to get from A to B is an indirect route though. To be a vet you may have to first be less than a vet. Sometimes we have to use whatever stepping stones are available to get us from where we are to where we want to be. Please don't be discouraged if you have to support a vet before you become a vet. Keep true to your goal but don't be discouraged if you have to take a less direct route.
 
Wolf is correct. I wasn't trying to be mean. I was just saying my thoughts on the matter and giving the best advice that I could possibly articulate.

Maybe you find yourself unable to find new interests because you are too focused on becoming a vet? Try teaching yourself new skills, such as cooking, reading, or programming or something. You needn't choose a path and stick to it forever. There are other options out there.

I didn't think they were. I'm just saying I don't think that was the proper thing to say to someone who is literally considering suicide over the option of not being a vet. Especially when they've heard it all the time for decades.
 
I appreciate that being a vet is your passion. Sometimes to get from A to B is an indirect route though. To be a vet you may have to first be less than a vet. Sometimes we have to use whatever stepping stones are available to get us from where we are to where we want to be. Please don't be discouraged if you have to support a vet before you become a vet. Keep true to your goal but don't be discouraged if you have to take a less direct route.

Thank you. I WILL HAVE to take a less than traditional route. I still have to get my driver's license (Covid and weather have made it impossible for the time being. But whatever route I take, I eventually will need so many hours of clinical practice in an actual vet's office. Even before Covid every vet I asked said no. I want to do that first to see if being a vet/vet nurse/tech is something I'd actually like or not before going to school for it and getting massive debut for nothing.

I think it might be a requirement for tech school as well. I have no issue with being a tech first but the main problem is that most vet tech programs in the US do not let you keep your credits. If you wanted to go for a bachelor degree in a few years after getting your tech degree, you'd have to start all over and get your associate degree again too.

I've talked to several schools that offer a vet tech program online and they can't even guarantee I'd be able to keep my credits and said if the goal was to be a DVM later on in life, then don't go to a tech program unless I can find another school that can guarantee my credits I will keep. I knew two actual vet techs that went to a local college that were able to supposedly keep their credits.

They were not nice people (they talked badly about their boss and were verbally mean to the animals when they thought no one was looking. One of the other techs quit to go work at an animal testing faculty and they openly admitted they envied him because he was going to make more money. So I don't really trust their word for anything)
 
Last edited:
I've been thinking about your situation more, and about maybe a different tactic, or approach would help your mental health, if nothing else. Maybe if you could find other things that made life worth living, more as a counterbalance to your vocational frustrations, than a replacement for them. Isn't there anything else in your life that makes you happy, even for a moment? Music, TV shows, going for a walk? Petting an animal? (assuming any are available in your life). Things that help you get by moment to moment when the rest of your life is frustrating or overwhelming. You don't necessarily have to develop them as an 'interest', but what about as coping mechanisms?

For me, as I've probably said several times on different threads by now, ;) music was my lifeline for so much of the seriously crappy years of my life. It's still my go-to for emotional regulation and so much more. There are tv shows I absolutely love watching, (new and old) and will watch repeats for relaxation or entertainment (among other reasons)., and/or look forward to new episodes of if there are any.

Having things to look forward to in life is essential to keep us going in the hard moments. Even if they're small things. And when life is difficult, sometimes it's not about the big picture, but about the next step and the next step, the next moment, and the next and the next. Those littler things can help us be able to deal with the bigger picture and bigger tasks.
(Look at that, I was listening all those years to the people who tried to drill this into my head after all! :p)
 
I didn't think they were. I'm just saying I don't think that was the proper thing to say to someone who is literally considering suicide over the option of not being a vet. Especially when they've heard it all the time for decades.
Sorry. I didn't know that what I said would have effected you in that way. I apologize if what I said hurt you, I didn't mean for it to have that effect. I really do.
 
Thank you. I WILL HAVE to take a less than traditional route. I still have to get my driver's license (Covid and weather have made it impossible for the time being. But whatever route I take, I eventually will need so many hours of clinical practice in an actual vet's office. Even before Covid every vet I asked said no. I want to do that first to see if being a vet/vet nurse/tech is something I'd actually like or not before going to school for it and getting massive debut for nothing.

I think it might be a requirement for tech school as well. I have no issue with being a tech first but the main problem is that most vet tech programs in the US do not let you keep your credits. If you wanted to go for a bachelor degree in a few years after getting your tech degree, you'd have to start all over and get your associate degree again too.

I've talked to several schools that offer a vet tech program online and they can't even guarantee I'd be able to keep my credits and said if the goal was to be a DVM later on in life, then don't go to a tech program unless I can find another school that can guarantee my credits I will keep. I knew two actual vet techs that went to a local college that were able to supposedly keep their credits.

They were not nice people (they talked badly about their boss and were verbally mean to the animals when they thought no one was looking. One of the other techs quit to go work at an animal testing faculty and they openly admitted they envied him because he was going to make more money. So I don't really trust their word for anything)

Have you considered volunteering at an animal shelter? Usually people that volunteer tend to care more. You may meet people who are more supportive of your efforts who also have subject area knowledge that's beneficial.
 
I've been thinking about your situation more, and about maybe a different tactic, or approach would help your mental health, if nothing else. Maybe if you could find other things that made life worth living, more as a counterbalance to your vocational frustrations, than a replacement for them. Isn't there anything else in your life that makes you happy, even for a moment? Music, TV shows, going for a walk? Petting an animal? (assuming any are available in your life). Things that help you get by moment to moment when the rest of your life is frustrating or overwhelming. You don't necessarily have to develop them as an 'interest', but what about as coping mechanisms?

For me, as I've probably said several times on different threads by now, ;) music was my lifeline for so much of the seriously crappy years of my life. It's still my go-to for emotional regulation and so much more. There are tv shows I absolutely love watching, (new and old) and will watch repeats for relaxation or entertainment (among other reasons)., and/or look forward to new episodes of if there are any.

Having things to look forward to in life is essential to keep us going in the hard moments. Even if they're small things. And when life is difficult, sometimes it's not about the big picture, but about the next step and the next step, the next moment, and the next and the next. Those littler things can help us be able to deal with the bigger picture and bigger tasks.
(Look at that, I was listening all those years to the people who tried to drill this into my head after all! :p)

In the meantime, I'm a self employed painter and I also make stuffed animals and clothes.
 
Have you considered volunteering at an animal shelter? Usually people that volunteer tend to care more. You may meet people who are more supportive of your efforts who also have subject area knowledge that's beneficial.

Yes, but I don't think there is one where I live. I'd have to wait until I get my car. And honestly I am not really a dog person. Cats are nice but exotics such a snakes and lizards are more my thing.
 
Yes, but I don't think there is one where I live. I'd have to wait until I get my car. And honestly I am not really a dog person. Cats are nice but exotics such a snakes and lizards are more my thing.

You can pet reptiles too, can't you? ;) Doesn't feel the same, but I'm going to guess it probably has a similar effect if it results in a similar emotion. (totally guessing on that, as I've never actually looked into the research on the benefits of petting animals, but...)
 
You can pet reptiles too, can't you? ;) Doesn't feel the same, but I'm going to guess it probably has a similar effect if it results in a similar emotion. (totally guessing on that, as I've never actually looked into the research on the benefits of petting animals, but...)

Yes, you can. Some of them even love and crave for it. Bearded dragons are especially friendly and affectionate. So are tegus and iguanas if treated properly. I've even heard of alligators that love to be stroked or rubbed by their zookeeper. They will only bite on purpose if they have been abused. It's not the dogs themselves I have a problem with, but their owners. A lot of dog people tend to be in your face extroverts who don't know the concept of personal space. I don't think dogs are bad or anything, it's just most of them remind me too much of people and will let people abuse them over and over without retaliating. There's a reason beagles and foxhounds are preferred as research subjects in laboratories.
 

New Threads

Top Bottom