When AS punches you in the gut

[tarview]

When I first realized I was an Aspie, I felt so relieved. Finally, a name to put to all my little quirks! And it was my wife who first came up with the idea that it was even a possibility.

But it seems like all this has accomplished is driving her away. I don't think she's even done any reading on trying to cope with AS or understand what I'm going through. I know it's not easy for her either, but it's like she expects me to suddenly be "fixed" since we figured out what's "wrong." So when I'm over-stimulated and don't filter my speech, she jumps right back into thinking I'm mean and rude.

Now, she IS pregnant and we've got a lot going on and stress from my ex not letting me see my kids, etc. So, I realize we already have a lot of baggage without this latest news. However, there has to be some way to get her to at least do a Google search or something. I really think I need professional intervention (to help me with social skills, etc.), but we just can't afford it right now. So I'm looking to you, Aspie community. Give me some wisdom.

 

[gregmcph]

Tricky game being a married aspie. Knowing about it doesn't fix things magically. If she doesn't like what you say to her, knowing why isn't going to change that. I find it needs a continual self evaluation. Bite you tongue when something unpleasant is on the end of it. Look for signs you are neglecting your wife. Look for those times when she is left alone. You should be there with her. Listen and react to her stories. Try and now and again be pro-active and suggest you both go out to the movies or for a coffee.

Now you know your natural inclinations, try not to sink into them too deeply all the time.

 

[Ylva]

Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children - Kindle edition by Dr Thomas Gordon. Health, Fitness & Dieting Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

Also, if she's pregnant, maybe she will be hypersensitive and able to sympathise… but they usually get angry if you say that.