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What's (not) Your Real Name?

Or any derivative thereof:

Desmond (and I don't have a "barrel in the marketplace")
Devon
Kirby
Peter
Max
Jackson
Herbert
Tristan
Oscar
Phillip
Robert
Alexander
Jude
Steven
Stephen
James
John
Matthew
Mark
Luke
Joseph
Lars
Gunther
Patrick
Kirk
Kevin
Michael
Bruce
Daniel
Nicholas
Nigel
Ian
Richard
Lawrence
Eric
Erik
Timothy
Kurt
Leon
Benjamin
Elijah
Zachariah
 
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When my children were smaller, we had a game where they would ask me, "Dad, what's your full name?" and I would recite the longest, ridiculously made-up name that I could think of. I borrowed names from T.V. shows, movies, and books, and just jammed them altogether. At one point, it was something like:

Charles Chester Winchester Worchestershire Worthington Williams Rock Bottom Saltflats Desert Dune Dunedain Bus Stop Ole Biscuit Barrel Carmen Carmel Tarmac Nucleus ... Smith.

Once I had the whole sequence memorized, I would add a name or two to make it longer and sillier. I always ended with "Smith" because I thought it was funny to have such a common last name after all the other names.
 
Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo

(from an all-around problematic book)
 
Senior Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffwelchevoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswessenschafewarenwohlgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangreifendurchihrraubgierigfeindewelchevoralternzwolftausendjahresvorandieerscheinenvanderersteerdemenschderraumschiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischensternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelchegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurassevonverstandigmenschlichkeitkonntefortpflanzenundsicherfreuenanlebenslanglichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvonandererintelligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum

en.wikipedia.org

Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff Sr. - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org
 
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