What's a relationship like? (I am an Aromantic Asexual)

[icesyckel]

I do feel empathy in an emotional sense but I don't really express my emotions which explains why I don't cry at funerals like other people do.

Well, "empathy" is just the ability to sense/understand/perceive what others are feeling. Lacking empathy doesn't mean you don't care or lack emotions. Of course, many aspies also experience and express emotions differently (such as yourself perhaps), but that is a different thing than lack of empathy. Even then, none of us are completely emotionless androids despite what many NT's may think.

I cried at some funerals, but not most. I don't even think all NT's cry at funerals. All people, NT and otherwise, have different ways of processing grief, which is an even more complex issue. Some are still in denial at the funeral, believe it or not. They won't cry until later. Others never cry. There's no "right" way to express grief, just healthy and unhealthy ways.

 

[Vanilla]

I too am asexual, and never understood the desire others had to be in a relationship. I did give it a try though; mostly because everyone kept pointing out that I was single, and kept asking me why. This was before I knew about AS, or my asexuality, but I genuinely couldn't understand why I was single, and wondered whether I was supposed to do something about it. I was also curious as to why I was different.

After trying dating, I learned many things. It changes you as a person. I would say, if you're considering it, you need to prepare for the good and the bad. Im glad I tried it, but it's a personal preference; it's not for everyone.

 

[Spam]

I've always felt like I was suffocating in relationships. Sexually I got bored. But just continued doing it more or less for the other person. And as for other intimate things, I am hyper sensitive to heat. So cuddling and hand holding was never a good thing for me. I became uncomfortable rather quickly. Basically I hated being with someone because I couldn't connect with them or their family or friends. And I always felt like an oddball. Also, I only really ever thought of ways of leaving the relationship. No matter how good or bad they were to me. Meh. Single now and staying that way.

 

[icesyckel]

I've always felt like I was suffocating in relationships. Sexually I got bored. But just continued doing it more or less for the other person. And as for other intimate things, I am hyper sensitive to heat. So cuddling and hand holding was never a good thing for me. I became uncomfortable rather quickly. Basically I hated being with someone because I couldn't connect with them or their family or friends. And I always felt like an oddball. Also, I only really ever thought of ways of leaving the relationship. No matter how good or bad they were to me. Meh. Single now and staying that way.

If being single works for you, and if you are happy single, then why not stay that way?

For those who want/desire a relationship, though, just be sure you know what you're getting into. If you expect to fulfill your wants/desires in a relationship but not have to tend to another person's, then you've got the wrong idea as to what a relationship is. Some of us have made it clear that we don't want to be responsible for or involved in another person's life/happiness on so intimate a level.

Others seem interested and want a relationship but have certain logistical concerns about how to make it work. No one who chooses to pursue it will find long-term relationships or marriage are "easy," as I previously pointed out, especially for "us." However, if you start giving up on the things you want in life simply because they are not easy to come by, then you may find it hard to find happiness unless you are the Joker (gasoline and matches are very cheap and readily available...).

I too have serious issues with heat sometimes concerning physical aspects of relationship, and so I make sure to crank the A/C and run a fan if necessary. It's not perfect, but I have even used an ice pack before to lower my body temperature. There's a solution to every logistical problem.

As to constantly thinking of leaving the relationship - that is not a logistical problem. That is not wanting a relationship, and that's fine. I don't think everyone needs to be married or in a relationship to be happy. I can tell you though, being married makes relating easier for me. I have one person i can be myself with, and I get all the socializing I need (which isn't much) in one place. My wife understands that I often want to be alone, which is good for her b/c she has girlfriends. It's symbiotic for us. Others have zero need for interaction, so why seek it out?

 

[Spam]

If being single works for you, and if you are happy single, then why not stay that way?

For those who want/desire a relationship, though, just be sure you know what you're getting into. If you expect to fulfill your wants/desires in a relationship but not have to tend to another person's, then you've got the wrong idea as to what a relationship is. Some of us have made it clear that we don't want to be responsible for or involved in another person's life/happiness on so intimate a level.

Others seem interested and want a relationship but have certain logistical concerns about how to make it work. No one who chooses to pursue it will find long-term relationships or marriage are "easy," as I previously pointed out, especially for "us." However, if you start giving up on the things you want in life simply because they are not easy to come by, then you may find it hard to find happiness unless you are the Joker (gasoline and matches are very cheap and readily available...).

I too have serious issues with heat sometimes concerning physical aspects of relationship, and so I make sure to crank the A/C and run a fan if necessary. It's not perfect, but I have even used an ice pack before to lower my body temperature. There's a solution to every logistical problem.

As to constantly thinking of leaving the relationship - that is not a logistical problem. That is not wanting a relationship, and that's fine. I don't think everyone needs to be married or in a relationship to be happy. I can tell you though, being married makes relating easier for me. I have one person i can be myself with, and I get all the socializing I need (which isn't much) in one place. My wife understands that I often want to be alone, which is good for her b/c she has girlfriends. It's symbiotic for us. Others have zero need for interaction, so why seek it out?

I am only 19. And I've only been in one serious relationship. Which managed to last 2 years somehow. But I've lived my life mimicking and doing what others want. The guy I was with was a serious good friend. And though I did love him, (more unconditional than romantic) I brought it to an end myself because I knew I didn't want to be in relationship. But being young and inexperienced (still am) I was confused as hell (still am) and have tried dating since then. But it's always short lived. Flirting is awkward and the guys that get drawn to me think I'm being cute and quirky. And usually I take that affection because that's like the normal thing to do? That's what I thought. I'm still figuring myself out. Like I said, I'm young, inexpierenced, and am entirely unsure of I want or don't want. So for now, I'm done playing with boundaries and people.

 

[icesyckel]

...I've lived my life mimicking and doing what others want.

Same here. I use rules or "coping mechanisms" to help me "mimic." Since you are still young and sorting through things (we all are to various extents, though), let me tell you something I have noticed/learned/whatever. Some believe we (on the spectrum) have some moral duty to conform to social norms. Others believe we have a right to be ourselves.

I have a different perspective entirely, and it is more pragmatic than it is moralistic. There are serious benefits to "blending in" at times (regardless of the moral/ethical implications of doing so). I have reached a point in my life now where I take charge of when I do this. I don't feel obligated to conform. I have developed the ability to integrate with normals when I need to, for my goals, when it suits my purposes. When I want to just be me, I have the full ability to "drop the act."

While I have been doing this for some time now, since getting formally diagnosed I have been much more conscious and intentional about it. It's an ability I developed over years, and now I understand myself well enough to control it in a way that makes sense for me. I hope you can get to that place as well if you have not already done so.

The guy I was with was a serious good friend. And though I did love him, (more unconditional than romantic) I brought it to an end myself because I knew I didn't want to be in relationship.

Sounds like you just wanted to be good friends with him, which is fine. Maybe he wanted more, but you shouldn't feel pressured into relationships - you can't make someone happy by being in a relationship only he wants. It has to be something you're both pursuing and working on, or it won't work.

It is actually pretty simple: either you both share a vision for a future you want to build, together, or you don't. That future may be as friends, or as something more, but neither will work if you are on different pages. In my experience, you either will get on the same page about this, or your won't. Not every friend or significant other is going to last forever, and 2 years was a good run at your age, really.

But being young and inexperienced (still am) I was confused as hell (still am) and have tried dating since then. But it's always short lived.

Dating should be short-lived, imho. It is (to my thinking) meant to be a fun, light-hearted way to get to know someone you may want a relationship with later. Once you get to know the person, things either progress to the next level, or you move on. Continuing to "date" a person after you know all you need to about him/her is unproductive and, in some cases, disingenuous when you know for certain it isn't going anywhere and haven't shared that with the other person.

I think dating is an excellent resource for data-gathering. So long as you are still gathering data, you are being completely on the level. Logically, most people you date are not going to be suitable for long-term relationships, and even fewer will be suitable for marriage. For that reason, "short-lived" dates are progress if you are pursuing LTR/marriage. Crossing a person off the list of prospective candidates is progress that brings you closer to the "right" candidate. Dating can also help you identify what "right" means in this context. I doubt I would ever have gotten married to my wife but for all the other experiences I had while dating others.

That said, if you aren't seeking anything like LTR or marriage, then dating is at most about having fun. If it is not being used to gather information, and if you aren't having fun, then what is the point?

Flirting is awkward and the guys that get drawn to me think I'm being cute and quirky.

If they think you are being cute and quirky, then they like you and awkward is working for you. I think Joan Cusack, Julia Roberts, and Sandra Bullock all fit that definition, and I think they'd all be fun to date.

Not every person is drawn to every other person. Rejection is inevitable most of the time, since it is very hard to find someone with whom one is "compatible." I found both successes and rejections to be informative and useful when I was dating.

And usually I take that affection because that's like the normal thing to do?

Affection = good unless you're totally uninterested in affection. If you aren't interested in affection, then I wouldn't encourage it. Otherwise, just enjoy it. Simple.

That's what I thought. I'm still figuring myself out.

Most people are at any age, but then those of us on the spectrum sometimes obsess about it and make more progress than do NT's, especially once we know we're different. We want to know why and how we're different and what that entails. For me this expedited a lot of things in life.

Like I said, I'm young, inexpierenced, and am entirely unsure of I want or don't want. So for now, I'm done playing with boundaries and people.

Being young isn't bad or good. It just is. There's only one logical "cure" for inexperience: seek and absorb experiences.

As to boundaries and people, I think both will be less frustrating after you spend some time getting to know yourself better and deciding what you want in life. Set your own boundaries, and then figure out what other people's boundaries are as needed/desired. Revise your boundaries as needed/desired to get the results you want (when you know what those results are). I mean, we're people not tracts of land. It is easier to move the "fences." No one has to be the same all his/her life. You get to decide who and how you want to be.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I gotta tell you, a lot of Aspies on here think they haven't done much relationship-wise, but most of you have done more than me and I'm NT girl. I've been in one relationship that lasted (if I remember right) 2 months and the rest of the time were just dates that never went past 2-3 dates with each guy. Just never found the guy who "knocked my socks off" so to speak. Plus I guess I was too wrapped up in going to school and getting my career started. Now I'm so stuck in my ways that it's going to have to be some "hunny" that's really super-duper special in order for me to get hitched and for them to be Waldo's new daddy. Such is life.

 

[Vanilla]

I gotta tell you, a lot of Aspies on here think they haven't done much relationship-wise, but most of you have done more than me and I'm NT girl. I've been in one relationship that lasted (if I remember right) 2 months and the rest of the time were just dates that never went past 2-3 dates with each guy. Just never found the guy who "knocked my socks off" so to speak. Plus I guess I was too wrapped up in going to school and getting my career started. Now I'm so stuck in my ways that it's going to have to be some "hunny" that's really super-duper special in order for me to get hitched and for them to be Waldo's new daddy. Such is life.

Aww...if it makes you feel any better, the guys I was in relationships with, weren't exactly "knocking my socks off", lol. The relationships were in the interest of educating myself, and for some company. If you too entered in to relationships with this same mentality, those few dates probably would have also ended up as several relationships, simply because you aren't looking for "Mr. Right", you're looking for answers as to "why do people do this?" and "am I doing it right?". Now that I've had some experience in understanding the dynamics of relationships, I don't feel I would enter in to another, unless I were to finally find a guy who was right for me

 

[icesyckel]

...The relationships were in the interest of educating myself, and for some company. If you too entered in to relationships with this same mentality, those few dates probably would have also ended up as several relationships, simply because you aren't looking for "Mr. Right", you're looking for answers as to "why do people do this?" and "am I doing it right?". Now that I've had some experience in understanding the dynamics of relationships, I don't feel I would enter in to another, unless I were to finally find a guy who was right for me

I respect anyone who is willing to date for information-gathering purposes. It can be very informative.

 

[Spam]

Same here. I use rules or "coping mechanisms" to help me "mimic." Since you are still young and sorting through things (we all are to various extents, though), let me tell you something I have noticed/learned/whatever. Some believe we (on the spectrum) have some moral duty to conform to social norms. Others believe we have a right to be ourselves.

I have a different perspective entirely, and it is more pragmatic than it is moralistic. There are serious benefits to "blending in" at times (regardless of the moral/ethical implications of doing so). I have reached a point in my life now where I take charge of when I do this. I don't feel obligated to conform. I have developed the ability to integrate with normals when I need to, for my goals, when it suits my purposes. When I want to just be me, I have the full ability to "drop the act."

While I have been doing this for some time now, since getting formally diagnosed I have been much more conscious and intentional about it. It's an ability I developed over years, and now I understand myself well enough to control it in a way that makes sense for me. I hope you can get to that place as well if you have not already done so.



Sounds like you just wanted to be good friends with him, which is fine. Maybe he wanted more, but you shouldn't feel pressured into relationships - you can't make someone happy by being in a relationship only he wants. It has to be something you're both pursuing and working on, or it won't work.

It is actually pretty simple: either you both share a vision for a future you want to build, together, or you don't. That future may be as friends, or as something more, but neither will work if you are on different pages. In my experience, you either will get on the same page about this, or your won't. Not every friend or significant other is going to last forever, and 2 years was a good run at your age, really.



Dating should be short-lived, imho. It is (to my thinking) meant to be a fun, light-hearted way to get to know someone you may want a relationship with later. Once you get to know the person, things either progress to the next level, or you move on. Continuing to "date" a person after you know all you need to about him/her is unproductive and, in some cases, disingenuous when you know for certain it isn't going anywhere and haven't shared that with the other person.

I think dating is an excellent resource for data-gathering. So long as you are still gathering data, you are being completely on the level. Logically, most people you date are not going to be suitable for long-term relationships, and even fewer will be suitable for marriage. For that reason, "short-lived" dates are progress if you are pursuing LTR/marriage. Crossing a person off the list of prospective candidates is progress that brings you closer to the "right" candidate. Dating can also help you identify what "right" means in this context. I doubt I would ever have gotten married to my wife but for all the other experiences I had while dating others.

That said, if you aren't seeking anything like LTR or marriage, then dating is at most about having fun. If it is not being used to gather information, and if you aren't having fun, then what is the point?



If they think you are being cute and quirky, then they like you and awkward is working for you. I think Joan Cusack, Julia Roberts, and Sandra Bullock all fit that definition, and I think they'd all be fun to date.

Not every person is drawn to every other person. Rejection is inevitable most of the time, since it is very hard to find someone with whom one is "compatible." I found both successes and rejections to be informative and useful when I was dating.



Affection = good unless you're totally uninterested in affection. If you aren't interested in affection, then I wouldn't encourage it. Otherwise, just enjoy it. Simple.



Most people are at any age, but then those of us on the spectrum sometimes obsess about it and make more progress than do NT's, especially once we know we're different. We want to know why and how we're different and what that entails. For me this expedited a lot of things in life.



Being young isn't bad or good. It just is. There's only one logical "cure" for inexperience: seek and absorb experiences.

As to boundaries and people, I think both will be less frustrating after you spend some time getting to know yourself better and deciding what you want in life. Set your own boundaries, and then figure out what other people's boundaries are as needed/desired. Revise your boundaries as needed/desired to get the results you want (when you know what those results are). I mean, we're people not tracts of land. It is easier to move the "fences." No one has to be the same all his/her life. You get to decide who and how you want to be.

Well uh thanks for all the help? Lol, you really like to be throughout. But by stepping away from relationships, I mean to figure out who it is I am and working with my therapist to figure out to "cope" in certain situations. Relationships being one of them. Around here, letting go of a date is ridiculously dramatic. Even if you were only seeing each other for a short time with no official "strings". My intent is never to hurt anyone. People my age don't really understand dating in my opinion (me probably being one of them). It's an all or nothing. Right now, I'd prefer nothing. I figured out I'm content being alone, so that's why I'm staying that way for now. Preferably not forever. May need to invest in a substantial amount of cats. jkjk.

 

[Vanilla]

I respect anyone who is willing to date for information-gathering purposes. It can be very informative.

Ha, thanks. That's the first time anyone's ever told me that they respected my odd dating tactics. Most people usually just raise a few eyebrows; not that I tell too many people

 

[Hidden]

Hey guys,

I was wondering - how do you know whether you're asexual and aromantic? I mean as in general, how would one know? I'm asking because I suspect I am too, but I'm not certain. I've always felt disgusted by sex, but I'm not sure if that's a permanent thing or the result of what I was exposed to when I was younger - at the age of about 8 someone exposed me to some really adult material and I was quite traumatised by it; I would have screaming meltdowns if I heard someone shouting "No!" or "stop it!". I only stopped having that sort of reaction about a year ago.
I'm also uncomfortable and even disgusted by things such as kissing, cuddling and touching. It's not the person, I just feel that way and I can't imagine ever engaging in it with someone else.

I apologise if this is TMI; I just want to figure out what I am.

H.

 

[Vanilla]

Hey guys,

I was wondering - how do you know whether you're asexual and aromantic? I mean as in general, how would one know? I'm asking because I suspect I am too, but I'm not certain. I've always felt disgusted by sex, but I'm not sure if that's a permanent thing or the result of what I was exposed to when I was younger - at the age of about 8 someone exposed me to some really adult material and I was quite traumatised by it; I would have screaming meltdowns if I heard someone shouting "No!" or "stop it!". I only stopped having that sort of reaction about a year ago.
I'm also uncomfortable and even disgusted by things such as kissing, cuddling and touching. It's not the person, I just feel that way and I can't imagine ever engaging in it with someone else.

I apologise if this is TMI; I just want to figure out what I am.

H.

That sounds like something you may want to speak to a professional about. I'm not too sure how trauma would factor in to it, but as I imagine being asexual would be a sexual orientation, it probably suggests you'd need to be born that way; but I could be wrong.

I myself am certain that I've simply always been like this. I only realised something was up when people started asking questions, and I started realising the signs. I never felt the way other girls did about boy bands, never felt anything when looking at teen posters (and so never collected them, yet had many posters of other things on my walls), never planned for a relationship/ weddings/ having kids. I've even had people ask who I had a crush on, and I had no answer. They thought I was being coy, or secretive, but I literally had nothing.

It's not that I was repelled by these ideas (though it was an uncomfortable subject); I was indifferent, and simply didn't associate those things with myself. I can't speak for all asexuals, but that's how growing up was for me.

 

[icesyckel]

Well uh thanks for all the help? Lol, you really like to be throughout. But by stepping away from relationships, I mean to figure out who it is I am and working with my therapist to figure out to "cope" in certain situations. Relationships being one of them. Around here, letting go of a date is ridiculously dramatic. Even if you were only seeing each other for a short time with no official "strings". My intent is never to hurt anyone. People my age don't really understand dating in my opinion (me probably being one of them). It's an all or nothing. Right now, I'd prefer nothing. I figured out I'm content being alone, so that's why I'm staying that way for now. Preferably not forever. May need to invest in a substantial amount of cats. jkjk.

I can be obsessively thorough sometimes, I know. I just enjoy analyzing things.

 

[Randomperson]

As usual I am completely contrary to the world once again, I would like to function normally in relation to the world on having a relationship with someone, yet I am incapable of doing so apparently.

I am not rich, or good looking, or a "smooth" talker. I like to let my beard grow, I do not smile or laugh without cause, my sense of humor is dark, and my own morals are set in unbreakable stone. It also does not help anything if you make it to 35 before having your first friend(s) and never having been on a date, people just start to assume there is something wrong with you years before then, which does not make any of it less frustrating.

 

[icesyckel]

I would like to function normally in relation to the world on having a relationship with someone, yet I am incapable of doing so apparently.

Well, you have written something productive here, and something unproductive.

First, the good news: you recognized that having a relationship is a desire/goal that you have. Some here have decided that a relationship is not their goal/desire. Either is fine, but many folks are still lingering in uncertainty. Ultimately, you either want to share your life with someone, or you don't (or you do but regard the price as too high, in which case you really don't).

Now the bad news: a defeatist attitude won't get you anywhere close to this goal. You say that you are incapable of this, and I tell you that this is a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you want a relationship, then this is an attainable goal. It will require hard work, strategy, compromise, and change, but it can be done. I promise you this, though: out there right now is someone who is looking for the same thing you are and having just as much trouble attaining it.

I am not rich, or good looking, or a "smooth" talker.

Most people aren't rich. "Good looking" is subjective, and "smooth talking" isn't so much necessary as basic social skills, which can be learned if you really want.

I like to let my beard grow,

This fondness of your beard - is your beard more important to you than your stated goal of having a relationship? If so, then this reminds me of a story...

My buddy, let's call him Oscar, likes his Dragonball-Z collector's shirt and jeans. He liked video-game themed clothing. He couldn't get a date.

He asked me to give him some tips since, back in college, I rarely had a weekend without a date (by contrast, in HS, I couldn't get one to save my life - live, learn, improve.).

I took Oscar to the mall along with a girl I was dating at the time, lets call her Lucy. I told him to try some stuff on that wasn't video-game themed.

He felt like and idiot in everything he tried on at the mall even after both I and (more importantly) Lucy told him he looked much better in a J-Crew sweater than in a Dragonball-Z shirt. He stubbornly refused to make a single change to his wardrobe. He is still single today.

You see Lucy didn't mind that Oscar liked anime and/or video games, but she confessed to me later that she wouldn't want to go to dinner with a guy who wears his hobbies (it would be different if they were at a convention), and neither would any of her friends (I asked her to help me set Oscar up).

Did Oscar make the "wrong" decision? No - he just wanted to keep his own unique fashion sense more than he wanted a date. The only thing that concerns me is that Oscar didn't really make this decision consciously, weighing pros and cons, he just "felt" his way through it.

Now, more than a decade later, Oscar is still single but wearing whatever he likes. The thing is, Oscar could have had whatever interests he wanted and gotten a date. IF he made a mistake, then I think it was assuming that clothes (or a beard) comprised some integral part of his identity. Clothes are bought in stores. A beard grows on your chin just as a wart might grow on your foot. Change the cloths; shave the beard, and you are still you, but perhaps a more marketable you.

So, if you sense your beard is scaring off the ladies, then either shave it or realize that you chose a beard over companionship. It's not "wrong" to make the choice, so long as you actually make it. Obviously, this applies to more than just facial hair...

I do not smile or laugh without cause, my sense of humor is dark, and my own morals are set in unbreakable stone.

I think there are many people who would find these to be very attractive qualities if given time to adjust. Sometimes it can be a good "ice breaker" to force a laugh or to let someone get to know you before you share the darkest parts of your inner nature/humor. Often, with these sorts of traits, it's not about changing them so much as holding them back and letting someone get to know you a little at a time.

I went out with a girl once. On the first date she told me every dark secret about herself from a history of abuse and even incest, as if saying, "Are you sure you know what you are getting into with me?"

I wasn't, and there wasn't a second date. It wasn't anything she said that sent me off in search of greener pastures. It was her timing. We weren't "close" enough for her to confide in me like that on date #1. What was date #2 going to be, a proposal? I got out of Dodge.

So, keep your dark sense of humor, but maybe hold off on sharing it for a few dates. Never try to force someone to get to know everything about you all a once. It's overwhelming. I have a natural tendency to do this myself, but it just leads to problems.

It also does not help anything if you make it to 35 before having your first friend(s) and never having been on a date, people just start to assume there is something wrong with you years before then, which does not make any of it less frustrating.

I don't think dating is "easy" for anyone on the spectrum. We often have to make more changes/compromises than do NT's in order to date and have relationships. Alternatively, many don't date/have relationships. Neither approach is "wrong." How much we integrate and conform is a choice. I can tell you that my wife sees 2 versions of me: the public me, and the actual me she sees at home. She loves both, but she got to know the former before the latter.

 

[honneyStewEww]

Pretty much what the title says. For me relationships don't seem worth the effort and just seem pointless to me. However, I would like to hear some of your experiences with relationships since i may miss some things about them.

Same here, except I am not asexual.

I wish I was. You should consider yourself happy.

 

[Randomperson]

Thank you Ice, yes the beard stays, expecting everyone to have the same length of facial hair is like expecting women to all have long hair, or curly ect. For me I much prefer to have my beard now that I have let it grow, styling could be discussed, but I have no interest in chopping it off. Do you ask the lion to forgo his mane? My only regret with my beard is that I had it grown out fairly well around 15 years ago and shaved it off and kept it shaved, which did not attract anyone either, if I had not shaved then I would have an even fuller and more luxurious beard now (nearly 20 years of continuous growth instead of just 3).

Not to overly go on about beards, but I find it comforts me, I can stroke it as a stim to feel better when I am stressed, I have been complimented on it as well (which have been the only remotely sincere compliments I have ever received).

At any rate there are 3 things I will never give up in this life, my pet cats (the only things that have ever loved me), my jeep, and my beard. Everything else is negotiable.

 

[icesyckel]

At any rate there are 3 things I will never give up in this life, my pet cats (the only things that have ever loved me), my jeep, and my beard. Everything else is negotiable.

It is good to recognize where one's priorities lie - again, I am in favor of decisions such as this so long as consciously made. You have actually analyzed the situation and decided that your beard, jeep, and pets are all of more import to you than dating/relationship. All else is negotiable, you've decided, and this is certainly not a long list of "must haves," as I call them.

There may be someone who can live with all these things, given how few they are. If not, then you still protected the things that really matter to you, which again is a net positive result.

 

[Voltekka_MK3]

Randomperson This x10000. Beards to me are a sign of the struggles and experience a man has went through. It is a sign of wisdom and maturity and they are just magnificent. I want to grow one soon.