What Makes Life Worth Living?

[Rodafina]

Where the function is served by the proclamation of the most extreme ideal of escape, but the proclamation alone.

This, too, strikes me as important to consider. I find it difficult to express suicidal thoughts to people around me… There is a certain burden that it seems to put on others, and I am constantly questioning if they can bear it or not.

I do believe there is great protective value in the proclamation itself – in being able to say it out loud and have others say “I feel that way too.” Indeed, this is the very thing that is rebuilding and fortifying the precarious ground that I was standing on not too long ago.

I have proclaimed such things to the skies, to animals, and to ethereal things, but something about the understanding from other humans who have felt it is what truly keeps me on solid ground. That, and the notion that we are all ever-marching toward the end anyway.

 

[Stuttermabolur]

My view when it comes to suicidal ideation is that ultimately, what people choose to do or not do with their live is their decisions and I won't order them around or yell "don't do it!" However, what I do want to help with is the emotions and pain which lead to those thoughts to begin with. Uprooting or at least alleviating those feelings will in the long run get people to treasure their life, or at least stop seeing the end of it as an "escape", but that is really a side benefit of leading a more fulfilling life.

I have sometimes seen depression described as a more "reasonable" mindset, where you see the world "how it is" instead of having the bad things hidden from view. However, in my mind, depression causes people to think very illogically, and they will sometimes fight and argue for categorically wrong views (for instance: "I'm a failure", "I am a waste of space", "no-one really cares about me", "there is no hope for me"). In fact, even though it might seem the complete opposite, in some ways, depression is a very egotistical disorder as it makes you deny what other people tell you and clear evidence around you so that you stick to your self-denigrating worldview. It is also remarkable how depressive people feel intensely alone and like no-one could be feeling the same when it is among the most common (if not the most common) mental health disorder. If you do not suffer from it, chances are very good that someone you know is dealing with it, though you might not know about it.

 

[Rodafina]

In fact, even though it might seem the complete opposite, in some ways, depression is a very egotistical disorder

This is completely true in my case, albeit difficult to admit, but, an important and helpful concept that you bring up. In my case, depression is selfish sometimes, and I am starting to think that is one reason why reaching out here in the forum is so helpful. It brings me outside of myself, outside of my own struggles. I think one effect of spending so much time alone can be that you can lose sight of the importance of perspectives other than and different from your own. I appreciate hearing this, and agree with how you’ve described depression here @Stuttermabolur. I don’t appreciate selfishness and this perspective is definitely extremely helpful.

 

[GypsyMoth]

As someone very close to me has confided they have been thinking about doing this, this OP hits a bit close to home. We've been having the 'what makes life worth living' conversation ourselves. The number one thing on this person's list is family. Except, family isn't reciprocating--they're harming and they don't even know it. So, what do you do when what should be number one, can't be? Here's what we're doing:

- having someone to talk to
- asking extended family to come alongside
- blueberry pancakes & having someone make breakfast for you in the morning (sometimes it's the little things that make a difference)
- not having to do laundry or household chores for a time
- a day off of work to chill, read a book, surf the net
- having someone who loves you tell you that you're loved and needed

I called a close aunt and she said she would be willing listen anytime. We (well, I) made plans for us for Thanksgiving. She's coming up and will spend a 2nd holiday with us -- and if she can't make the drive I told him I'll even drive down and fetch her. And my cousin's fiance may be flying in from Japan at Christmas. I told him we're hosting any out-of-state family that may be coming and he was interested in that. So put 'making plans' on that list, too. It seems to help, a lot.

 

[Knower of nothing]

As someone very close to me has confided they have been thinking about doing this, this OP hits a bit close to home. We've been having the 'what makes life worth living' conversation ourselves. The number one thing on this person's list is family. Except, family isn't reciprocating--they're harming and they don't even know it. So, what do you do when what should be number one, can't be? Here's what we're doing:

- having someone to talk to
- asking extended family to come alongside
- blueberry pancakes & having someone make breakfast for you in the morning (sometimes it's the little things that make a difference)
- not having to do laundry or household chores for a time
- a day off of work to chill, read a book, surf the net
- having someone who loves you tell you that you're loved and needed

I called a close aunt and she said she would be willing listen anytime. We (well, I) made plans for us for Thanksgiving. She's coming up and will spend a 2nd holiday with us -- and if she can't make the drive I told him I'll even drive down and fetch her. And my cousin's fiance may be flying in from Japan at Christmas. I told him we're hosting any out-of-state family that may be coming and he was interested in that. So put 'making plans' on that list, too. It seems to help, a lot.

If I was them, you'd be the number one position. Family is only symbolic. You already seem to be in that role.

 

[AprilR]

Waiting for new TV shows or books that i can get obsessed with. Shopping

 

[GypsyMoth]

If I was them, you'd be the number one position. Family is only symbolic. You already seem to be in that role.

I am. but I can't handle this alone.

 

[Progster]

Hope.

 

[Crossbreed]

What Makes Life Worth Living?

See Christian Reply to Non-Christian Thread...

 

[Rodafina]

I am. but I can't handle this alone.

This is completely understandable. The impact that depression and suicidality has on the people around us is very real. An odd concept for someone who feels so alone in their heart. So yes, confusing and tiring for all involved. Even though we think we bear our pain alone, there are often many others who are picking up the crumbled pieces all around and carrying those things by our side.

 

[Twitch]

Meme your enemies, see them driven to their safe spaces, and hear the lamentations of their non-binary other kin.

That aside, if I am completely honest and serious for a moment, spite end ennui have been the primary motivating factors of my life.

They kept me back in first grade, telling my mother I'd be functionally illiterate my whole life--so I became a writer.

They pushed me to drop-out of school, so I became my only family member in two generations to bother graduating high school.

Life makes me want to die on a daily basis--so I'm sticking it out 'till the end. F those F-ing F-ers.

 

[Aspychata]

That's a great question. People and animals, and plants? Your favorite foods? My reasons for living can rotate a bit. Poems being read on YouTube channels. Discovering new piano compositions. Letting go of past hurts from people l have been close too including my mother. Finding freedom from bad thoughts in my gray cells. The ability to find a sliver of sunshine and happiness no matter how tough my life is going because nobody can take that away.

 

[velociraptor]

This, too, strikes me as important to consider. I find it difficult to express suicidal thoughts to people around me… There is a certain burden that it seems to put on others, and I am constantly questioning if they can bear it or not.

I do believe there is great protective value in the proclamation itself – in being able to say it out loud and have others say “I feel that way too.” Indeed, this is the very thing that is rebuilding and fortifying the precarious ground that I was standing on not too long ago.

I have proclaimed such things to the skies, to animals, and to ethereal things, but something about the understanding from other humans who have felt it is what truly keeps me on solid ground. That, and the notion that we are all ever-marching toward the end anyway.

Family, friends, my kitty, and art.

 

[Judge]

It may be a metaphysical taboo for us to be able to clearly understand our mortal existence. Only to the extent that if we had all the answers, there would be no need for the exercise in question.

Besides, in whatever reincarnation we exist, there's no telling that our existence may be more about someone else than ourselves. With good reason for us not being able to comprehend it in real time.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

It may be a metaphysical taboo for us to be able to clearly understand our mortal existence. Only to the extent that if we had all the answers, there would be no need for the exercise in question.

Besides, in whatever reincarnation we exist, there's no telling that our existence may be more about someone else than ourselves. With good reason for us not being able to comprehend it in real time.

It is more important to live the questions than to find a specific right answer - as this beautiful thread illustrates.

As to the second - this is a mostly overlooked truth, one that can give meaning to our lives.

A corollary: just because the help you give today did not produce immediate and obvious results, you never know the seed you planted.

 

[Outdated]

I really resonated with the comments by @Twitch

I never give in. I don't have to win, but go against me and I will make sure you lose, even if it's only by living long enough to urinate on your grave.