You asked a very good question here
@AluxCinAmoon .
You’ll find similar situations to mine amongst many of the older people here. I didn’t get a diagnosis until I was 55 years old. ASD2. I grew up in a world where the word Autism was unheard of, and I also grew up in a world where being different was unacceptable.
I grew up being punished and abused for being Abnormal. For being socially immature. They tried to force me to learn things that I am not capable of learning. None of them could even for a moment try and see things through my eyes. As far as I could see I was the only sane person in the world, one of the very few with a fully functioning brain.
To me, trying to be like every one else meant becoming a lying cheating halfwit. I refused. I was very proud of myself, I knew I was better than everyone else. How could I not know? The difference in levels of intellect was chalk and cheese. The difference in levels of honesty and integrity were the same.
I managed to cut out a really fantastic life for myself too, I’ve had a great time. I often wondered if I was actually mentally insane but I also knew that the answer to that was purely academic. I was always going to be me. I only started learning a bit about autism in the last few years, most of the common terms are fairly new to me and most of the acronyms are unintelligible.
The term High Function seems to have two different meanings. I consider myself to be high function because I’m a broad spectrum polymath with an IQ of 172. To neurotypical people it relates more to our ability to socialise and act normal. I can do alright in that area too if I can be bothered to make the effort, but it is an act and maintaining it gets tiring, I have much less energy for it now I’m older.
Side note – I once told a doctor that I wondered if I was insane. He said there’s two types of insanity, Neurosis and Psychosis. Neurotics build castles in the sky, psychotics live in them.
