What is AutiGender?

[Hedgehog Instigator]

When I was a child it had a lot to do with it.. pink was seen as a 'girl's colour' and as a tomboy I didn't want to wear pink or dresses. A girl wearing pink was saying she was a very feminine girl, wearing trousers and dark colours and hanging out with the boys was a clear statement you didn't want to be a 'girly girl'.

Nowadays it seems acceptable for boys to wear skirts and dresses too and wear pink to prove a point that they can do these things and still be a male. It's no wonder kids today are confused about what gender they are!

Physically there are still only 2 options you're either born with male anatomy and therefore male or you're born with female anatomy and are female! They can still be a female engineer or a male hairdresser or nurse when they grew up but I don't see why we suddenly have to consider them 'non-binary'or 'gender-neutral' (which I thought was the current buzz word for parents who wanted their special snowflakes to be able to 'choose' their gender!) It's political correctness gone mad!

I find the term snowflake very tedious, usually when someone is made to feel uncomfortable they accuse the people around them off being snowflakes. It's this concept that millenials are too sensitive or something...

Secondly, gender is not the same as biological sex. It is an anthropological and sociological term. It has more to do with the role and emphasis a society puts on itsi members.

Also, just because you don't agree with something doesn't make it wrong. You have an opinion, you're entitled to it. However, this thread is about how some individual's autism has influenced gender.

Now back to the color thing. I understand that sometime between the 50s and now there has been a polarization that this color is feminine. But liking or disliking pink doesn't define your gender. The people who are transgender are so because they feel wrong in their skin. It's not whether or not you're a tomboy or a girly girl, it literally means that a person feels like they are a stranger to their body.

 

[Gracey]

You said yourself that you're not very educated on the topic, so how can you have such a strong opinion on something you don't know much about?

Just out of interest; because I’m misunderstanding what’s happening here.
Are you suggesting that @SunnyDay16 isn’t entitled to that opinion?

 

[Lia]

Just out of interest; because I’m misunderstanding what’s happening here.
Are you suggesting that @SunnyDay16 isn’t entitled to that opinion?

I asked why she had such a strong opinion on something she said herself that she doesn't know much about.
When people have harmful opinions (statements such as "genitals determine gender" hurt trans people) based on ignorance, I think they should be encouraged to learn more about the topic.

 

[Major Tom]

I don't really understand all these new gender and sexual preference terms, seems like they popped out of the woodwork and I just don't get them. Not that I'm judging anyone, just don't get it.

 

[wight]

seems like they popped out of the woodwork

They didn't just "show up"... these things have been under serious discussion for almost 30 years. You simply were not aware that it was happening.

 

[Gracey]

I asked why she had such a strong opinion on something she said herself that she doesn't know much about.
When people have harmful opinions (statements such as "genitals determine gender" hurt trans people) based on ignorance, I think they should be encouraged to learn more about the topic.

She has a strong opinion because she’s entitled to it.

Just like you have a strong opinion.

I didn’t see anyone giving you a hard time or telling you you’re wrong over your beliefs and strong opinions @Lia

I admire your passion but everyone has a right to believe what they choose to believe.

I think we respect that here?

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

They didn't just "show up"... these things have been under serious discussion for almost 30 years. You simply were not aware that it was happening.

That's interesting... Do you have sources? I would like to learn more.

 

[wight]

That's interesting... Do you have sources? I would like to learn more.

Gender dysphoria - Wikipedia
That list should get your started.

Then read all the pages and all the sources for those pages on this page:
List of transgender-related topics - Wikipedia

 

[dragonwolf]

Three or more genders is actually a very old concept. Our society is actually somewhat unique in only recognizing two.

Gender systems - Wikipedia

Given the fundamental differences in how the brains of many Autistics work and are physically wired, it wouldn't be that much of a stretch for the mechanisms of an individual's Autism to also be the mechanism for their gender identity.

 

[AO1501]

She has a strong opinion because she’s entitled to it.

Just like you have a strong opinion.

I didn’t see anyone giving you a hard time or telling you you’re wrong over your beliefs and strong opinions @Lia

I admire your passion but everyone has a right to believe what they choose to believe.

I think we respect that here?

Not to contradict you, because I agree entirely. However, in this instance we have two viewpoints: on the one hand, that each person has the right to determine for themselves what their gender is, based on their knowledge of themselves, and on the other, that each person has the gender their genitals provide for them. One offers freedom of choice, the other imposes a societal simplicity.

As such I don't, personally, see it as simply whether one poster has an equal right to their beliefs as the other, because one of these posters is denying the right to personal beliefs for an awful lot of others.

 

[Gracey]

Not to contradict you, because I agree entirely. However, in this instance we have two viewpoints: on the one hand, that each person has the right to determine for themselves what their gender is, based on their knowledge of themselves, and on the other, that each person has the gender their genitals provide for them. One offers freedom of choice, the other imposes a societal simplicity.

As such I don't, personally, see it as simply whether one poster has an equal right to their beliefs as the other, because one of these posters is denying the right to personal beliefs for an awful lot of others.

Okay.

 

[Lia]

I think it's important to remember that we are not just talking about the right to have an opinion here, but about real human beings.
If someone had harmful opinions about autism, then most people on this forum would not just agree to disagree, but instead be very passionate about educating the person and help them understand more about what autism really is.
I am not comparing gender dysphoria and autism, I am just trying to explain why it is so important to learn more about the things we don't fully understand.

 

[SunnyDay16]

Not to contradict you, because I agree entirely. However, in this instance we have two viewpoints: on the one hand, that each person has the right to determine for themselves what their gender is, based on their knowledge of themselves, and on the other, that each person has the gender their genitals provide for them. One offers freedom of choice, the other imposes a societal simplicity.

As such I don't, personally, see it as simply whether one poster has an equal right to their beliefs as the other, because one of these posters is denying the right to personal beliefs for an awful lot of others.

I am all for freedom of choice. People are allowed to claim they are whatever gender they want. I will not tell them what do think or shove my opinion down their throat. I just won't believe they are that gender, but I will keep my opinion to myself because it doesn't affect me all that much. If a guy who has a penis tells me he thinks he's a woman, I will not believe that he is one, but I won't tear him down for that either.

 

[SunnyDay16]

I think it's important to remember that we are not just talking about the right to have an opinion here, but about real human beings.
If someone had harmful opinions about autism, then most people on this forum would not just agree to disagree, but instead be very passionate about educating the person and help them understand more about what autism really is.
I am not comparing gender dysphoria and autism, I am just trying to explain why it is so important to learn more about the things we don't fully understand.

There's just so many gender labels and identities that it's extremely confusing for me to learn more. While autism is clearly scientifically backed, I feel like the idea of different genders is mostly politically based with not much science to back it. I could be wrong, but that's how I feel about it.

 

[AO1501]

I am all for freedom of choice. People are allowed to claim they are whatever gender they want. I will not tell them what do think or shove my opinion down their throat. I just won't believe they are that gender, but I will keep my opinion to myself because it doesn't affect me all that much. If a guy who has a penis tells me he thinks he's a woman, I will not believe that he is one, but I won't tear him down for that either.

OK, I appreciate that, and I have no problem with your opinion, you are, as I agreed in an earlier post, entitled to your viewpoint, and I don't have any intention of trying to change it.

As a 'guy with a penis' that is quite happily male, the opinion doesn't represent a problem to me. But as the father of a daughter who has never exhibited any female characteristics in her entire life, has never dressed as a female, has always exhibited typically male behaviours, and calls herself non-binary because she does not feel that she is female, but has no wish to be male, that it is simply that her body has betrayed who she is as a person, all I ask is that the rest of the world allows her to be who she knows herself to be. We should, I think, trust that people know themselves from the inside, better than we do from the outside.

But thanks, I appreciate the time and the comment.

 

[SunnyDay16]

OK, I appreciate that, and I have no problem with your opinion, you are, as I agreed in an earlier post, entitled to your viewpoint, and I don't have any intention of trying to change it.

As a 'guy with a penis' that is quite happily male, the opinion doesn't represent a problem to me. But as the father of a daughter who has never exhibited any female characteristics in her entire life, has never dressed as a female, has always exhibited typically male behaviours, and calls herself non-binary because she does not feel that she is female, but has no wish to be male, that it is simply that her body has betrayed who she is as a person, all I ask is that the rest of the world allows her to be who she knows herself to be. We should, I think, trust that people know themselves from the inside, better than we do from the outside.

But thanks, I appreciate the time and the comment.

Thank you You do bring up many valid points and you are indeed entitled to your viewpoint as well. I do agree that we should allow people to have concepts of themselves, regardless of our own personal opinions regarding it. I might not personally agree with it, but I don't believe they should be kept from it unless it interferes with their lives and health in a negative way.

 

[AO1501]

Thank you You do bring up many valid points and you are indeed entitled to your viewpoint as well. I do agree that we should allow people to have concepts of themselves, regardless of our own personal opinions regarding it. I might not personally agree with it, but I don't believe they should be kept from it unless it interferes with their lives and health in a negative way.

Then we have had a good day! Again, I appreciate the thoughts.

 

[Lia]

th

I am all for freedom of choice. People are allowed to claim they are whatever gender they want. I will not tell them what do think or shove my opinion down their throat. I just won't believe they are that gender, but I will keep my opinion to myself because it doesn't affect me all that much. If a guy who has a penis tells me he thinks he's a woman, I will not believe that he is one, but I won't tear him down for that either.

the thing is though, being transgender is not a choice. A person can't choose to have gender dysphoria. Being trans is just something the person is and always has been.
Also, it is okay that you don't currently understand what it means to be transgender, but people still deserve to be treated with respect. By referring to a trans woman as "he" you are misgendering someone, and that is actually really insulting. Always refer to a person as the gender they are, not the gender you think they are, because even if you don't agree with them we must all treat each other with kindness and respect.

 

[Thinx]

At any particular time in history there's a mix of opinions and levels of understanding and acceptance of new ways of thinking. I expect @SunnyDay16 accepts that. To me the idea of arguing that gender is the same as anatomy is an outdated view, but given that I think some people still think the world is flat it's maybe a bit too soon to expect full acceptance around the issue.

I do think respect though is the minimum expectation and in the UK trans people have Equal Rights in law. Thank goodness for that because trans people have had a very high suicide rate due to the social , physical and emotional stress of this situation, and added to that the sheer extent that their sense of gender is not understood or acknowledged and worse than that has been denied and ridiculed at times. Because of my gender neutral presentation I am often taken to be gay or trans, and one recent comment was, "that ones a post op by the look of it" spoken loudly in a café. I guess one has to be grateful the person's got some inkling of a possible aspect of gender transition however, if someone said " that ones on the autistic spectrum by the look of it" would you feel comfortable?

As autistic people we hopefully should be able to relate to the position of gender spectrum minorities as we are also misunderstood and discriminated against. In earlier times gay and lesbian people were in a similar position, and happily their rights are now improved and suicide rates are lower , though sadly not worldwide yet.

 

[SunnyDay16]

th


the thing is though, being transgender is not a choice. A person can't choose to have gender dysphoria. Being trans is just something the person is and always has been.
Also, it is okay that you don't currently understand what it means to be transgender, but people still deserve to be treated with respect. By referring to a trans woman as "he" you are misgendering someone, and that is actually really insulting. Always refer to a person as the gender they are, not the gender you think they are, because even if you don't agree with them we must all treat each other with kindness and respect.

I definitely agree that people deserve to be treated with respect, as long as they themselves are respectful to others. That's what I've said all along. Regardless of my own opinion towards transitioning genders or identifying as other genders, I will not be treat anyone any different for that. I will try to refer to them using their pronouns, but it may take time for me to get used to it. I have no qualms about befriending someone who is trans or who identifies as a different gender.