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What do you think about this? Stubborn father? Bricks on lawn

Yes it does... so how am I supposed to adopt to that if he is so rigid and lacking in compromise?

If he is older, retired and has an easy life with Autism why should I be the one to constantly give in?

No one is tired of me but you.
 
Well you've said that he never compromises before and then in the same thread given examples of him compromising in a major way, so I don't buy that he is as rigid and uncompromising as you say.

However, you adapt to someone who is rigid and uncompromising by being flexible and compromising yourself. Or as has been said repeatedly, move out.
 
You have been given great advise by many people on many occasions here, and yet you do not try to change, and take any implied criticism, however insightful or well meant, as an attack. What exactly do you want from us? For us to just say "oh dear poor you what a horrid dad he is clearly responsible for all evil you poor precious thing"?

Of course you life is hard, having autism is hard, but all you can do is adjust and learn how to live your best life with it. All things considered you are extremely fortunate. You have a car, you have parents generous enough to support you while you find employment, you get to go on nice holidays abroad, you are highly educated and you live in a country with good services and free-at-point-of-access healthcare. Learning to be grateful for what you have will help you accept tiny inconveniences like having to be careful while parking your car.
 
Frostee

We all support you here. Can your family sit down togeather and brainstorm without your dad re: parking?

Your father is ruler of the house, you may have a hard time living with him, so you have to try to cope somehow. Some people listen music, some people medicate, some meditate,some find hard exercise helpful as a coping mechanism. We here are hoping for you to find employment to get away from your father and you will feel so much better about yourself.
 
No one here can give a real opinion about your father’s behavior in this situation without hearing his side of the story. And your mother’s. We’re hearing your side only.

But I will say: waking up the household by playing music at 3AM and driving your car over the lawn: I can completely understand why these angered him. (By the way, why were you driving your car when you couldn’t see out the window?!)

Bottom line: you’re clashing with your father. It’s his house. You’re a grownup. Look for employment and move out. You can do whatever you want in your own apartment.

(Edit: I don’t mean to be harsh, by the way. It just sounds like you need some stern advice. If you are struggling with finding employment and/or may not be able to live on your own because of autism, then you need to have a serious chat with your dad. Apologize for your behavior [disrupting the household and potentially damaging property are not okay], explain your difficulties, and tell him that as long as you live in his house, you will obey the rules and be respectful. If he is indeed yelling at you in the way you describe, let him know that his anger frightens and embarrasses you. And look for a job and get your own place, as I said. Interviews can be difficult for us... Get books on how to ace them. Look up common interview questions and prepare and practice answering them beforehand. Visit your local job service office—they will help you with these things. You can do it.)
 
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Frostee said:
Btw for clarification purposes here is a photo to show the bricks. My mum's car is not there but it is usually parked to the right of mines, so there’s typically no room for me to turn there.

What you can't see is that there is a big concrete step to the left of the photo which narrows the space even further.
Click to expand...
You don’t mention if the Ford in the photo is yours, a new/newish car like that should defrost itself in five mins or less (nice car btw) as for the bricks I don’t think I would see that as vindictive, it will stop anybody driving on the grass. People driving on well kept grass is a pet hate of mine:
 
Growing up, my parents & father were very strict as well, but it was made clear to me at a very early age that I could move out anytime I wanted, but until then, it was: “My house & My rules!”


We all have our challenges & I did not become an adult (ie: capable of moving out + paying my own bills + take care of myself) until I was almost 22. So for the first 21.8 years of my life, I did whatever my parents said, even when I disagreed with them & their logic because regardless of my age, it technically was their house that I was living in, their car that I was driving, their food that I was eating etc....


Since I’m guessing this isn’t actually your car, my father in this situation wouldn’t have merely threatened to deflate the tires or put bricks in the grass to prove a point, he would have taken it a step further & put a ‘for sale’ sign in the window & let me watch people come look at it.......


But that (for me) was 20 years ago & I’ve since become an adult & moved on. I laugh about it now, as you will in 20 years too. I now live by myself, I have my own house, I park my truck wherever & however I please, and when my parents come to visit I tell them: “This is my house, and these are my rules..... while you’re here.” - And they respect them.
 
Because he sold his car so he didn’t have to pay for it. Now drives my mothers car constantly.

So no I want to be able to go out in my car when I want. If I did that he would constantly be out in it.
 
You could just withhold the keys, at times when you want the car?

It doesn't sound very cooperative. And you think he's the one who can't compromise?
 
I thought about you last night while I was trying to sleep. I want to add that your father’s threatening and angry behavior is not okay under any circumstances. I understand his frustration, but telling you he’s going to pop your car tires is a terrible thing to say. Male anger is incredibly frightening when you’re a girl, especially when it comes from a father or romantic partner.

I recommend that you follow the rules, fly under the radar as much as possible, and get a job and get out of there ASAP. Autistic people are well known to remain in bad situations because change is so difficult for us, but you’ve got to really push yourself this time and get away from there.
 
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