What do think the essence of ASD is?

[Streetwise]

You say potato

I say....

I don't need to say anything it wasn't a question.

not lychee

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

not lychee

Lets call the whole thing off.

 

[Mr Allen]

Poor social skills, lack of understanding of the "rules" of Society, and an all consuming "special interest" that rules our lives.

 

[Chance]

I like photography also and understand the no emotion part. I rarely photograph people. I did take a photo of the man I was at the car show we attended today. But, then he's the person I am around the most.

As far as people making an issue over eye contact, and they have all my life, I never wanted to talk about the real reason I felt was behind it with them. I'm sure it would offend.
It is difficult to speak while looking in the eyes for me too.
And I've always felt the reason is that action is a type of connection between two people that makes most feel comforting, but, for me uncomfortable.
It is connected to the socialising difficulty in the fact that all that eye contact and hugging or even handshaking
and all the daily greetings,etc.
NTs find so necessary, to me is letting down the wall and allowing others into my inner sanctum.
That is a very difficult thing to do.
Trust is involved in doing that. Another issue for me.
I always go back to the pic of the hand with the brick behind The Wall. Am I taking it down or putting it up?

The lonliness of The Wall is sometimes overwhelming.
Yet the discomfort of letting it down and really connecting or communicating with someone for very long
is so tiring. That is why I am good at living through
acting as I feel others want, but, get tired of doing so.
And it would be a relief to find someone with whom I could just be me around without having to think of how
I am acting.
So I would say the essence for me is to be able to let someone in beyond my wall and be able to trust, connect and be comfortable.
Sensitivity is a part as well.
View attachment 43665

Move him out the way... I want to see the cars... : )

 

[tlc]

Fundamental difficulties in interacting and communicating with other humans.

A lot of us get along just fine with animals. However when it comes to our own species, simple contact can be potentially daunting in comparison.

I don't get along with animals that well either. To me, they are essentially human, they have their own minds that can love but can turn on you at any time for no apparent reason.

Therefore I get along best with mechanical things.

I think the essense of ASD might be that we go through life running on code when relating to others, rather than integrating based on social cues. Some of us have better code than others. Some have continually revised it to work very well based on years of experence. There's probably a section of the brain dedicated to automatically giving and getting social cues (bypassing all thinking), that is missing in us. And is probably filled up by all the other strengths we have.

Also is the proven overactivity of our senses (smells, shirt tags, sounds, etc.). We intake everything. Our intake filter is easily overpowered, like it is still designed for listening for distant predators in the night. Sometimes it is to our advantage, as we can often solve puzzles that other's cant. Devices and things can be understood. But people (and to some, animals) are complex beyond our comprehension, can change unexpectedly. Trying to understand them in an attempt to relate, can be like a computer with its CPU maxed stuck in endless loop. Being social just plain wears us out. We might get lucky and find people who we are similar to, and we can relate to with less effort. But other people in this world just cause us to shut down. And the previous paragraph is the reason all this thinking has to happen.

Just my educated guess on it.

 

[Gracey]

Could it be empathy?

For each other?

An understanding and acceptance for those who experience something similar to what we each experience?

And when we don’t understand anothers perspective, perhaps an acceptance because we identify with those in our tribe?
They’re one of us?
Even if we don’t like them?
Or don’t agree with them?
They’ve probably still experienced situations close to our own navigating their way through childhood, adolescence and into adulthood.

Maybe that isn’t empathy?
But something else?
(Thinking aloud)

 

[Chance]

What is that one thing all of us share? From being on this forum and just looking around at my family it sometimes seems like there is nothing any of us share other than a label. So is there a common shared trait and what is it? I feel like I am simply operating with a brain set at a different tempo than most everyone else. I think autistics all are operating on their own individual tempo from not only "NTs" but each other as well. It's like most of society is Adagio and I'm set at more of a Largo. (Not so sure about that example because I had to look up tempo and find names for different ones. I am not a music person other than just casually listening and playing around with an uke.) Toss in everything else that makes up our personality and we are a peculiar group of peculiar people. Anyhoo, I think having a rare, odd brain tempo from most everyone else is what the essence of autism is but that's just a thought of course. Curious if anyone else had a better more coherent idea.

Maybe "essence" equals some sort of energy level that has no human definition...
Just a way of being for individuals who exist in this energy space...
Deep but I truly think it might have something to do with it at some level we can't understand or explain in this existence...

My guess is we are supposed to make the best of the situation we are given, and it seems many of us are trying... : )

 

[Sabrina]

Complex inner world + Communication and socialization challenges in real life + Physical and emotional hypersensitivity

 

[kay]

I don't get along with animals that well either. To me, they are essentially human, they have their own minds that can love but can turn on you at any time for no apparent reason.

Therefore I get along best with mechanical things.

I think the essense of ASD might be that we go through life running on code when relating to others, rather than integrating based on social cues. Some of us have better code than others. Some have continually revised it to work very well based on years of experence. There's probably a section of the brain dedicated to automatically giving and getting social cues (bypassing all thinking), that is missing in us. And is probably filled up by all the other strengths we have.

Also is the proven overactivity of our senses (smells, shirt tags, sounds, etc.). We intake everything. Our intake filter is easily overpowered, like it is still designed for listening for distant predators in the night. Sometimes it is to our advantage, as we can often solve puzzles that other's cant. Devices and things can be understood. But people (and to some, animals) are complex beyond our comprehension, can change unexpectedly. Trying to understand them in an attempt to relate, can be like a computer with its CPU maxed stuck in endless loop. Being social just plain wears us out. We might get lucky and find people who we are similar to, and we can relate to with less effort. But other people in this world just cause us to shut down. And the previous paragraph is the reason all this thinking has to happen.

Just my educated guess on it.

My intake filter is definitely set differently than most people. Don't know if that is a separate thing from what I call tempo or if the two are tied together. It certainly helps me find tiny mustard stains on pants and hear every tiny noise in the house all night. No mice sneaking past me.

 

[clg114]

I think that we have all had the experience of being with a group of people socializing, and feeling shut out and not connecting because of not being able to communicate in the same way as they communicate, the experience of being singled out, treated differently or ignored because people pick up on our being different, we all have social communication difficulties of one kind or another, and we experience the world in a different way to other people, but how exactly we experience it still varies from person to person. If all the active members of this forum were to meet up, they would all be very different, some would get on and some wouldn't, some talk a lot, some very little or not at all, we would all have different personalities, traits and 'baggage' that we've picked up on our journey through life - after all, it's a spectrum.

This is what I would have posted. Now I do not have to. Well said.

 

[kay]

Last night I discussed the topic with my husband. The "NT" I get along so well with. As it turns out he hates eye contact and likes esoteric topics that he talks way too much about. He has always been able to navigate well socially though, making or faking as much eye contact as possible and having the ability to listen and retain what is said and knowing good follow up questions. He says I talk endlessly about an unusual topic and fail to ask enough questions. So it seems we are very much alike except for that one thing that gets me a diagnosis and unable to do a lot of the necessary things in life such as a job while he has been as successful enough socially and with his work. We go out to a social event and he has fun and I need my weighted blanket. Perhaps he doesn't experience shut-downs and I experience that more than I know and that's why I ask so few questions but keep talking about chickens and bunnies. Brain stickiness??? The essential thing could be the ability to keep our brain moving forward at a similar speed to those around us. It seems that talking too much about obscure topics and lack of eye contact are not the essential features of ASD otherwise hubby would share a diagnosis with me.

 

[WereBear]

impaired social communication combined with emotional, mental, and physical issues. the severity of it depending on where you fall on the spectrum.

It typically goes the same way every time: we "act NT" at each other until we're comfortable with each other and then we start being ourselves. And when you can be your actual self, who you actually are, with someone else present, it's a magical thing. No pressure to make perfect eye contact. Forgiving their social missteps as they forgive yours. Monotone is fine, grand even.

the world would be a better place if our difference could be acknowledged and valued

I may be alone in this, but I have personally concluded (all data subject to update, of course) that:

• almost all of us have suffered from ignorance and prejudice that is responsible for much of our "challenges"
• this continues because our environment continues to over-demand and we have to grope around and find coping strategies all by ourselves for the most part
• we continue to be overtaxed and misunderstood by our societies
• that HFA is just autism without the other physical and mental challenges seen below
• that LFA is autism layered on top of developmental difficulties (brain damage, birth injury, genetic conditions) from other sources, all of which appear in Neurotypicals, but are expressed differently, and so an LFA person gets a double-whammy and becomes even more easily overwhelmed and less able to cope or be parented properly

It's like we line up a bunch of athletes for a race and one person gets called to the sidelines and fitted with shoes made of lead. There goes the gun! Keep running and stop whining!

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

one person gets called to the sidelines and fitted with shoes made of lead.

Can I have magic lead?

 

[Thinx]

Interesting lists from @WereBear and @Sabrina, yes those resonate for me. I suppose neuroscience may be going to tell us more about how brains work and that may help. With this being a spectrum I guess there'll be autie NTs and entee auties as it were, just to complicate matters. Thinking of some people I know, plus what @kay said about her hubby...

 

[Streetwise]

sensitivity to any stimulus

 

[SusanLR]

@Chance This one's for you.

(He's out of the way!) I go to these events all the time and have hundreds of pics from classics to the latest.

 

[Sherlock77]

@SusanLR @Chance

Since we are way off topic by now... Here is how you photograph people and cars... Yes, my photo...

 

[the_tortoise]

I think it's the social/communication difficulties -- that's all the world sees (not the many and varied reasons for those difficulties). That's the one thing that everyone with ASD experiences to some degree, regardless of the specific why/how that branches off in all sorts of different directions once you start to examine the differences in thinking, emotional processing, and perception that lead to the social/communication difficulties.

 

[kay]

I think it's the social/communication difficulties -- that's all the world sees (not the many and varied reasons for those difficulties). That's the one thing that everyone with ASD experiences to some degree, regardless of the specific why/how that branches off in all sorts of different directions once you start to examine the differences in thinking, emotional processing, and perception that lead to the social/communication difficulties.

I guess I have been pretty busy this week thinking about all those different branches. Just want to know why and there may be a lot of those branches to sort through. Is it sensory issues, inability to organize input fast enough, fragmented thinking, just a very different perspective..???

 

[the_tortoise]

I guess I have been pretty busy this week thinking about all those different branches. Just want to know why and there may be a lot of those branches to sort through. Is it sensory issues, inability to organize input fast enough, fragmented thinking, just a very different perspective..???

For yourself?

I just meant different branches for different people, but yeah, even in one person there are many branches.....in a single person they are more like tangled vines, I think -- or branches that have actually grown into one another, in places, so they are fused together....different cognitive abilities interacting......no simple/single answer, but the end product of all sorts of things interacting in various ways....