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What did I do wrong?

Unfortunately, I don't think many therapists are equipped to assist people with aspergers. They may be able to assist some with depression and anxiety thought. I was seeing a therapist for a year or so and eventually quit because he kept giving the same advice to me over and over. And yet he also stated how doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Go figure.

We aspies have been forgotten by the world and the health care community has especially dropped the ball. Our only hope is to help each other.
 
Sadly, I think you are right. I was fortunate to find a therapist willing to treat me for AS even though he was not trained. However, he pointed out that he was probably the most knowledgeable in the area: being as my insurance will pay for it, I'm going to give it a try.

Everyone has to figure out what works for them, anyway :)
 
WereBear said:
Sadly, I think you are right. I was fortunate to find a therapist willing to treat me for AS even though he was not trained. However, he pointed out that he was probably the most knowledgeable in the area: being as my insurance will pay for it, I'm going to give it a try.

Everyone has to figure out what works for them, anyway :)
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I think it is a good idea to at least give it a try. Like I mentioned, he was able to help me some with my anxiety and depression. The best advice I probably got him was to take a quiz and read a book called life colors. I was a bit skeptical at first but I would recommend. It helped me look past my aspergers and see who I really am and what my personality is. Also offered some helpful advice. Best of luck.
 
Butterfly88 said:
I called my therapist a scary lady and she seemed upset. I told her not to take it personally. I'm so nervous around her I shake. I said she was a scary lady as we were going down the hall to her office and she said something about social norms and controlling symptoms. Like she was upset I'd say it in public. But I don't see I did anything wrong but she made me feel like I should apologize so I did but she could tell it was an empty apology. What did I do wrong? I wish she had told me.
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She heard the wrong thing. Unfortunately she took your comment personally. Therapists learn and should be skilled at not taking things personally From what I gather you were trying to express how you felt and she took it personally. It sounds to me like you were just trying to share that you felt anxious.
 
Butterfly88 said:
Thank you both!


I was thinking that too but I thought it was just me having weird thoughts. She also asked me to look at her once. Probably thinks I don't look at people because I'm on the spectrum but the real reason is because I'm afraid of her, I do look most people in the eye.
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Do all therapists make you feel this way when you first meet them? if not, don’t waste your time. Get out and go find another. I had one .i hated and tried to make it work and one days he stood up and screamed,”Whoa!” You just did something out of character for you’re profile!” Heck, he probably misdiagnosed me because of I mask. He didn’t use labels so i didn’t have a diagnosis anyway and i didn’t know what he had decided I was. But I got him to help me with anxiety and his reactions to my explainations were not helping. So the next week I asked to be released as his client so another therapist would take me.

I figure she thinks reminding you of habits or coping mechanisms is going to help you in relationships and maybe it would. But if that is what she is doing she needs to tell you that is what she is doing. Even if you know up front and can’t handle a lot of it she needs to let you be yourself for the first part of therapy and use the corrective therapy for a separate block of time when you are not discussing such intense things. Because it will distract from the problems you need to share.
 
Butterfly88 said:
I called my therapist a scary lady and she seemed upset. I told her not to take it personally. I'm so nervous around her I shake. I said she was a scary lady as we were going down the hall to her office and she said something about social norms and controlling symptoms. Like she was upset I'd say it in public. But I don't see I did anything wrong but she made me feel like I should apologize so I did but she could tell it was an empty apology. What did I do wrong? I wish she had told me.
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I think she thought you should have told her in private so her colleagues and other clients would not hear it. Calling her scary discredits her, as therapists are not supposed to be scary. Criticizing remarks of any kind are better received in private. But if you new, she shouldn’t jump on you. A simple statement like i just said in the privacy of her office in a calm matter of fact ways is enough. I say get another therapist. There may be something in your gut level that will never work. It could be a facial feature that reminds you of someone else. It could be anything. If you really want to try to stick with her, have a heart to heart over the phone where you do t have to look at her. If she can’t explain herself to you satisfaction, dismiss her or cancel and do t go back. You didn’t do anything wrong. she handled it wrong.
 
I love roses said:
Oh, im sorry. It popped up at the top of the list and I didn’t look at the date. I didn’t know they got shuffled. .i thought it happened today! I’ll look for that next time.
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It's okay. Were you looking under my featured threads? If so only threads with enough posts to become featured show up there, I haven't had a thread get featured in a while.
 
Butterfly88 said:
It's okay. Were you looking under my featured threads? If so only threads with enough posts to become featured show up there, I haven't had a thread get featured in a while.
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No. I was just looking through trending posts and I scrolled to second page or something. Last few days I see posts have gotten shuffled closer to the front that are old. Maybe you can click something to not get allerts from it. now that it is featured you may get hits on it. Just send a private mail to Tree. She will fix it or she can lock it and it will not pop up anymore.
 
Butterfly88 said:
Thank you both!


I was thinking that too but I thought it was just me having weird thoughts. She also asked me to look at her once. Probably thinks I don't look at people because I'm on the spectrum but the real reason is because I'm afraid of her, I do look most people in the eye.
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Can you find a therapist you feel more comfortable around? Or do you think that you can grow more comfortable with this therapist over time? Sounds like you both are getting a poor start to a therapeutic relationship.

That being said, I work in the field. A client told another staff that he was uncomfortable with me (though he never showed nor spoke of his feelings to me). However, over the next two encounters, he became - and told me how - comfortable he was with me, and how he felt we “connected.” So maybe give your therapist a few more times to get acquainted.
 
Thank you @Mary Anne. This post is from 2016 and is no longer relevant yet for some reason decided to pop up again. I'll never figure out technology. I added a note to the first post stating it's from 2016.
 
Butterfly88 said:
Thank you @Mary Anne. This post is from 2016 and is no longer relevant yet for some reason decided to pop up again. I'll never figure out technology. I added a note to the first post stating it's from 2016.
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I think it’s ok to discuss because others in the forums have mentioned how they are not comfortable with their therapists either. It’s a topic worth revisiting.
 
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