• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

What are your controversial opinions regarding the autism spectrum?

Baphocletian said:
Someone being a fellow autist does not necessarily make them a guaranteed friend or especially confidant. Rats exist regardless of neurotype.
Click to expand...

I don't think that's controversial at all. Everyone is unique, though I find that the nature of the spectrum tends to mean that things can more easily go to the extremes (i.e. really like or really dislike)

As the saying goes, "you've met one person..."
 
Just live your life as part of the continuum, if you were given a gift brains, athletic ability, live your life no reason to apologize, for it use you gifts to better society. no explanation needed. And most of all enjoy your life, you do not owe anybody.
 
Well, to be honest, while I see some of my traits in other autistic people, I have to be careful to be extra polite to them, as some of their traits annoy me.
I don't understand autists, I probably have as good an understanding of them as an NT, so I know, if someone is autistic, I have to think on not to upset them by not taking their differences into account.
 
Asking someone how they're doing in return, no matter how inaccurate your answer to their question is, should be reflexive. I understand this is a NT social norm that bugs a lot of autistic people. But it's a useful little thing to learn that will go a long way
 
FYI for all of you about people and conversation.

People of average intelligence have conversations about other people, gossip.
People of above average intelligence about events.
People of high intelligence about concepts.

Also people with higher intelligence tend to have less social skills. Considering you think above the masses and don't see the logic in small talk for the sake of small talk.

I am an NT and I can't stand small talk. But I do it very well with others to make their day. Sometimes they just need to let it all out.

Some humor for you from deep inside my head. Mind you I am a super nice giving person.....
I walked outside to put out some trash and a neighbor acquaintance while thinking through a problem for work. I work from home.

An acquaintance neighbor intercepted me and started talking about her son. On the outside I was engaging and saying all the right things to feel good.

On the inside all I was thinking was "I don't care about your son I don't know, leave me alone I'm thinking and working, get the body language hint, please shut the 'F' up now, oh great thanks for wrecking my complex thought problem that now I dropped all the pieces, "

I finally had to just say "I am on the clock, I need to get back to work."

This neighbor only talks about things important to their lives and are VERY detailed about it. It's 95% of the time a one way conversation.
 
We need to find less wordy synonyms for the neurodivergent vs. neurotypical paradigm, and stop expecting our niche, in-subculture vernacular to automatically be mainstream as if the average Joe has known what we are talking about from birth. Especially in a clinical setting where the wrong self-advocacy move could quite literally disenfranchise us. Most neurotypicals can't comprehend words longer than four syllables.
 
Ronald Zeeman said:
That why I never discuss sports.
Click to expand...
On occasion I run into people that make fun of other people for being into cosplay, D&D, wargames, collectables, etc, etc. So I say "is it ok to have a room dedicated to say the New England Patriots? Or the Miami Heat?"

"Well yea it's ok".... but they already know where I am going with this by their tone.

"So you have a person that is spending a mountain of money and space dedicating themselves to a game where players plow over each other, hurt each other, just for points on a board, for entertainment, with no real world value and that's ok? So why is that different than the guy that has a room dedicated to video gaming, or wargaming, or D&D, or movies, or even chess?

I get the usual. "uuuuh" answer. And they realize there is no difference.

Sports is a very social game. Your tribe against the other tribe.

And no I don't have a room dedicated to any of the above. Only collection I got is about $3000 of sci-fi movies. We love sci-fi in our house. Don't have time to game.
 
Baphocletian said:
We need to find less wordy synonyms for the neurodivergent vs. neurotypical paradigm, and stop expecting our niche, in-subculture vernacular to automatically be mainstream as if the average Joe has known what we are talking about from birth. Especially in a clinical setting where the wrong self-advocacy move could quite literally disenfranchise us. Most neurotypicals can't comprehend words longer than four syllables.
Click to expand...
Most people can't understand complex things. It is not localized to NTs.
 
I 'don't play games which was an issue at the hospital. as a lot of therapy was video games. The only game I like
is real life, how does the universe work and at work conversations were about work paint, ink, treatments, colour. How the Leafs did last night no interest to me
 
Not really controversal, as I have not made it like that. However, when I was not diagnosed and would say that I am on the spectrum, the response was: if you are, then I am! Oh, we all have a little autism inside of us! Where is your proof? Etc and although I am supposing it was meant in kindness, it hurt deep.

Well, now I am diagnosed and am getting ones saying to me: oh, I am like that. I think I have autism. One even said: no, not aspergers; autism and I had to put her right on that one.

It really annoys me, because I had such a nightmare in thinking I could not get diagnosed and here many are saying it so casually and yet, have no desire to actually find out!

I also feel that it has become a sort of fad. There are many tiktok ( hate so much that), where young mothers are videoing their babies and attibuting their actions as clear cut autism, when in fact, it is what babies do anyway.

Annoys me, that there are those who seem to want to be on the autism spectrum; whereas there are those of us, who are and find it frustrating at times.
 
Sort of like everyone has an IQ over a hundred even though by definition this is the mean half must be under. People want to be associated with the positive attributes.
 
I wouldn't post a controversial opinion about autism. I dislike controversy, yet it crops up even when I don't think I'm being controversial. There really is no point to it because you never change minds by arguing.
 
Suzanne said:
Not really controversal, as I have not made it like that. However, when I was not diagnosed and would say that I am on the spectrum, the response was: if you are, then I am! Oh, we all have a little autism inside of us! Where is your proof? Etc and although I am supposing it was meant in kindness, it hurt deep.

Well, now I am diagnosed and am getting ones saying to me: oh, I am like that. I think I have autism. One even said: no, not aspergers; autism and I had to put her right on that one.

It really annoys me, because I had such a nightmare in thinking I could not get diagnosed and here many are saying it so casually and yet, have no desire to actually find out!

I also feel that it has become a sort of fad. There are many tiktok ( hate so much that), where young mothers are videoing their babies and attibuting their actions as clear cut autism, when in fact, it is what babies do anyway.

Annoys me, that there are those who seem to want to be on the autism spectrum; whereas there are those of us, who are and find it frustrating at times.
Click to expand...

It's a tricky period where people feel the need to be remarkable. Now personally I think the ability to stalk the landscape consuming the scenery for fuel is already pretty impressive, but clearly people need to feel that they are very significant. Things like autism are useful to these people because a) it can be used as an excuse for not doing things that insta might consider remarkable, b) it allows them to trivialise the achievements of those with the actual disability so as not to feel small and c) it gives them a way to try and differentiate themselves from others and delegitimise their peers.

These mums are actually scared creatures, plagued by the fear that their little one might actually not figure in the minds of their peers as something incredible and that, by association, neither will they. That no-one will be envious of them. That is what they crave, the envy of others. So their prop, ermmm baby, gets whatever labels might help to make them stand out.

It's actually kind of sick. I'm ASD and raising 2 ASD kids. And it's bloody hard work. I love them to pieces but sometimes I could just cry. That people would think this something they can use for clout is really sad. IMO social media has taken a weakness in humanity and amplified it into a severe psychiatric condition.
 
The only vaguely controversial thing in my mind, is how to get along in a world designed for NT minds?
.
And I don't think this is so much a controversy as a question with a lot of different answers, some of which work better than others, depending on the individual.
.
I suppose I could say "Autism is not an illness" and I would find people to argue that with me. But why bother?
 
I am an NT FYI. Wife and kid are on the spectrum.

Focus on being a good kind person in life. This will be its own reward. It will compensate for the lack of social skills with people that matter most. Doing something kind like helping a neighbor goes far toward removing the bad vibes from NTs.

As for fitting into the NT world it's about social skills. It's tough for a person with ASD. You can think of social skills like playing the violin. You need to be skilled enough but one mistake can make the piece you are playing sound terrible.

The vast majority of NTs are kind people but they don't understand the social skills deficiencies in ASD. So when they get into groups they cast out the ASD person because they don't fit with the norm. In any group, or tribe as I like to call it, you have an acceptable range of social behavior. Sadly ASD people seem to be on the outside of what is accepted despite the wide range within.

It becomes worse when you have sensitivity, mental illness, tics, and other issues that the typical NT has never experienced and rarely witnesses.

Even I have to restrain my irritation with my son's social behavior and I understand and sympathize with autism. He's a good kid too. The irony is that I have to display proper social behavior when he is frustrated otherwise his anxiety escalates. I always have to be the calm one regardless. With my son you never know if he is going to run up to you and hug you saying "I love you" or have a panic attack when things don't go right. He is 16 now. That stress takes a toll on me.

I only say this because I understand ASD and educated myself about it and I still internally react and instinctively expect proper social behavior but have enough restraint not to act externally on what the NT in me demands.

So imagine how difficult it is for a less educated, less intelligent, less aware NT to adjust to a person that is ASD. Of course they can't even really tell you what is wrong because they can't put their finger on it and it makes no sense.

Just the difference of slouching and standing tall has a huge impact on how people perceive you.
 
You could say similar lines about gamers, or people who talk politics, or anything.

Point is there is no difference between enjoyable activity as long as it doesn't harm others and everyone is having fun.

If sports is your think then it is.
If gaming or intellectual conversation then it is.
Zero difference.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom