Vent

[Bradock]

I really wish i wasn't autistic. Or at least on the spectrum.

For my whole life making friends was so easy cus i was in school. But I'd get new friends every grade never keeping up with my old friends. And now that im out of high-school i have no friends at all. I dont know how people do it they make it look so easy just taking to other people. I feel like an alien. I cant do basic things and i hate it. I cant look people in the eyes when they talk to me. My voice is so monotone i cant express myself well. I have no idea what to do in social situations so i just stand there and respond to the person and when they dont talk i just stand there. I dont understand small talk. I feel so much guilt for putting other people through the chore that is talking to me. The main reason i feel i have autism is because i cant understand people. Facial expressions or basic context.

 

[Xinyta]

It's not something that'll ever be easy. It takes practice and time to improve conversational skills. Patience is a difficult thing when it's something this uncomfortable.

Small talk is a tricky thing. I'll not deny it. There are some days where I can do it. But most days I just can't. And it's okay.

Just keep trying. There is no perfect way to fix this. And we all individually have our own ways to compensate.