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Understanding...But Not

Sounds like every job I have ever had. A minor disagreement, or even a slight hesitation gets blown out of proportion and suddenly your not a team player, and get over looked for promotion, or even get the sack. I was continually harassed by my boss because I did not have the right look on my face while I was working. It was not retail, it was a difficult job that required I work out side in the heat. I guess my look of suffering offended my boss, and he decided I had a bad attitude because I did not walk around smiling all the time.
I remember feeling a lot of stress wondering if he was watching , and judging me because he did not like the look on my face. I lived in constant fear of my job. I watched lazy workers get raises and promotions because they where always smiling and upbeat, and I was harassed for having a emotion other then happiness on my face. I guess I am naïve but I thought working hard was more important then smiling like an idiot all day. They were probably smiling because they got rewarded for doing nothing.
 
biblophile said:
Sounds like every job I have ever had. A minor disagreement, or even a slight hesitation gets blown out of proportion and suddenly your not a team player, and get over looked for promotion, or even get the sack. I was continually harassed by my boss because I did not have the right look on my face while I was working. It was not retail, it was a difficult job that required I work out side in the heat. I guess my look of suffering offended my boss, and he decided I had a bad attitude because I did not walk around smiling all the time.
I remember feeling a lot of stress wondering if he was watching , and judging me because he did not like the look on my face. I lived in constant fear of my job. I watched lazy workers get raises and promotions because they where always smiling and upbeat, and I was harassed for having a emotion other then happiness on my face. I guess I am naïve but I thought working hard was more important then smiling like an idiot all day. They were probably smiling because they got rewarded for doing nothing.
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All in the name of "company culture"...ugh...
 
As an NT woman who is dating a man whom we suspect has ASD, I can chime in here. He has also been fired from a handful of jobs over the years. He once came home upset that his boss questioned his "character" by sitting him down and informing him a customer complained that he cursed at her. I know he would not intentionally curse at someone, but he flat out denied remembering having done so.

He has made bad impressions on people who are important to me too, like family members. When he and I review some situations after the fact, I can guess what occurred based on the information he relates and from what I know of him, but he truly seems clueless about what occurred.

Based on what I have experiences with my bf, I would venture to guess that the offense could have been related to the tone of your voice, the choice of words, or facial gestures. Frequently my bf makes a face that looks judgmental. It took me a long time to realize he was just processing information or trying to understand something that didn't make sense to him. He speaks in a monotone voice which sometimes comes across as though he is being sarcastic, when he is simply stating a fact. Also, he tends to use words that sound strong to us NTs, they are emotionally charged. For example, he likes the word "pathetic" which sounds very demeaning and judgmental, when I would communicate the same idea saying "that's sad". He seems to be unaware of the intensity of some words.

It must be very frustrating when you try to explain ASD to someone, like your boss who you expect to be understanding, who you ultimately discover does not comprehend how your ASD traits aren't going to change due to being written up or warned. I still have trouble accepting that!! It looks like some people have recommended certain games.

I don't know where you live, but in the US we have the ADA which protects workers who have a "disability" (to an extent).
 
sisselcakes said:
I don't know where you live, but in the US we have the ADA which protects workers who have a "disability" (to an extent).
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I do live in the US. When I first mentioned ASD to my boss, I was very specific to say that I didn't bring it up because of legal ramifications, but instead in the spirit of trying to explain the full picture to him so he knows and understands me better.

The original conversation about not "improving my relationships" with other people at work was said and documented that I would face termination if I didn't fix it. Since having the above conversation though, it has transitioned to if things don't work in my current position, finding something else I can productively do for the company, or finding other employment that would better suit me.

That being said, I will probably be having a conversation with our HR person prior to the next quarterly evaluations just in case.
 
I live in the US. I have tried to talk to my boss about the rights of the disabled, they pretend to understand and comply, but will find some other reason to terminate my employment. they are well aware how difficult it would be to prove the real reason for my termination. One said my position was being phased out and they had no other place for me.
 
Many states in the USA are "work and will" states, they do not even have to give you a reason, just show you the door. Sad state of affairs in the USA unfortunatly. I am bless with my job, they have known from day 1 that I have ASD, they are very understanding and I know of 2 of the higher ups did some research on their own about how to maximize my strengths and also protect me. In one instance, a customer was going to not be happy with the cost of fixing his mower, and was known to back people into corners and get confrontational. So, they let another technician speak to him that could handle the gentleman and his bad attitude. I brought my co working up to speed on what I found, why it needed the repairs. They knew it wouldnt go well if he backed me into a corner, espicaly as I can be very blunt and state the facts as I see them and not as an NT wants to hear them. The owner of the company will stop by my repair bay and check on me atleast once a week and make sure I am ok and if I need anything. They all say I have a passion for fixing lawn and garden equipment like they have never seen. I hope it works out for you, the stress and anxiety over job and thus income is not fun at all. Mike
 
I have been fired from multiple jobs for the most vague, stupid reasons imaginable, but what it all boils down to is miscommunication and not being able to put on the personas that NT people can do at will. I soon turned to outside sales jobs (in which you don't have to interact with other salespeople except at early morning meetings; the rest of the day you are on your own) and I still managed to make enemies because I was outselling everyone else with the exception of one other person. One coworker saw me using steroid eye drops for my autoimmune eye problem and she accused me of passing around a contagious infection. It is impossible to "catch" autoimmune issues! Thankfully my boss appreciated my hard work and saw that this woman was just jealous, so nothing came of the complaints.
 
Get a written statement as to the reasons for your termination. File an ADA complaint. I don't know what you were being paid, but it might help to seek legal advice.
 
Evil Genius said:
Annnnnnnnd I just got terminated an hour ago...
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You got shredded by the wolf pack....they sense you are different and drive you out....you could sue for discrimination....probably but a lawsuit record can hurt future hirings...you could go to humanservices and ask for mediation....the boss might give you your job back...you maybe able to get a tax credit for your boss to hire you back too ...I have one.
You don't lose much by trying anyways....I hate those NT wolf packs like death...you may need to learn to back the leader of a pack down....don't make trouble but politely let him know there will be a price for cutting you from the herd. :ox::eek:....:dog:.....:ox::ox::ox::ox:

Sometimes the politely implied threat of lawsuit is more useful than actually suing.:)
Your boss sounds bad tho....I don't know if you really want to work with jerks like that, it might not be worth it, maybe hint at severance bonus $ for unfair firing and discrimination.:D

Some companies are always hiring for a reason, everyone hates them.:confused:

A polite way of saying they are run by tools, and only tools would stay and work there.
 
the world of work hates anyone who is not a standardized good mixer, obsequious, small minded sheep who follow without question and pick the nits of those above them. it is a sick world.
 
Maelstrom said:
You got shredded by the wolf pack....they sense you are different and drive you out.......
Some companies are always hiring for a reason, everyone hates them.:confused:

A polite way of saying they are run by tools, and only tools would stay and work there.
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All true. Maybe it will turn out to be a blessing in disguise. I hope so.
 
midlife aspie said:
Get a written statement as to the reasons for your termination. File an ADA complaint. I don't know what you were being paid, but it might help to seek legal advice.
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I asked specifics, and all they would tell me is "performance" and that I knew everything we had talked about prior. If I ever get in a situation like this again, I'm going to insist to be able to record behind closed doors conversations. Everything in those conversations would have gone a long ways towards an ADA complaint. The fact that they wouldn't tell me anything specific yesterday really feels to me like they would be extremely worried about a lawsuit if they did say anything.
 
The good news about this all is that I am in a much better place than when this happened to me last year. Last year, I was so physically torn down because of the stress of that job that it took months for the reality of being out of a job to hit me because I was recovering. This time, I've already hit the ground running. So I am looking to be much more highly selected at what I do next.
 
Evil Genius said:
The good news about this all is that I am in a much better place than when this happened to me last year. Last year, I was so physically torn down because of the stress of that job that it took months for the reality of being out of a job to hit me because I was recovering. This time, I've already hit the ground running. So I am looking to be much more highly selected at what I do next.
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A huge suit for sexual harassment in Fox News just got settled. Because there was documentation.

Whether it is legal or not, I would consider recording such discussions. And had you been warned about "performance" previously? Sometimes that makes a difference. Like in getting unemployment?

I was fired on trumped up excuses like this once, I feel now they had been so thrilled with me that my salary had climbed to the point that, during a downturn, they started seeing it as income. I had already set them up so well that fools could run it... and they were.

So I went to the unemployment office and exclaimed over how well I was doing, my salary, my wonderful performance reviews...

and I got unemployment, even though they had "fired for cause."
 
The only thing I had been warned about was improving inter-office relationships. But even after I sat there and explained Asperger's to my boss and what "deficiencies" it creates in the estimate of NTs, he acknowledged and said ok, only to 5 seconds later tell me I needed to be the one to change. But they also wanted me to sign something that had me agreeing to not bring any action against them. I couldn't take it to my wife and discuss it with her. I was told it went away if I left the building without signing it. I would have gotten another month of pay from them if I had signed it. But being in the middle of nowhere, my concern was unemployment because it is not easy to find a job out here unless you have some specific qualifications. And they called the lawyer and confirmed it would prevent me from filing for unemployment if I signed it.
 
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