Turning Manipulator? Ep2

[Inator]

Hello. Years ago I had the bad idea of registering onto a game romhacking site where most of their people seem to be aspies who unload their rage and hatred at their newbie people, and only those who are capable of following the same attitude can "grow".

I knew about all this before joining, but I was a fan of one of those Admins works, and as the little curious kid I was, I went to it anyways. I had a "horrible behavior" at first, but I was learning the most complicated part very faster, the programming side. Still got a plenty of people to chat with shortly after, specially helping to fix bugs and writing new functions, but some day, the Admin I was fan of, got a leaked version of one of my projects, and I got to know that he was going to try to disassemble it to check my code and ensure I did not stole from another game that I will call "* Retromix".
Went to complain about it obviously, as I thought it was quite rude, but the next day I seen my last posts all edited in a dickish maneer, and they said that was my final straw to get banned. After my fake kick-out I thought on quitting game design, but my friends convinced me to keep on it, for many years.

I have released a couple of stuff with friends on another forum of the same community, and while had no major issues, I am still labeled like a "code thief" between many members: The past year I had my last straw with a project of mine being entirely removed unless I gave them proof I did not stole anything. All just because this project was running on the same platform as game * Retromix.
So, enough already. I just can't win an uneven battle. I just can't stand being shut off anymore!

This year I went with a different approach: Took myself a lot of time to inspect, analyze and take note of their behavior on their forums, trying to get every detail from their general mindset. Same for the administrator: I went further and learnt about his own tastes, his personal life, just about every goat of personal information I could find about.
I have a pretty accurate vision of how things work now.
I made a new account on the first mentioned forum, and now I'm trying to put all my crude social engineering and psychology into action, so I can grow and have a higher status, because I will only win if I, at least, do fight equal to equal. I can't keep losing by power disadvantage.

The result? So far I have been very, VERY successful. I have to act like I despect those "idiots", and I also help a few other middle-level people, just so the staff gets a proper enough vision and they "let" me grow. And as things goes, I'm getting even near to get closer to all and each of my goals. All while I'm trying to appear like a quiet mature guy, while from inside I'm just a little child who wants to play around!

But the most shocking about all this, is that I'm getting a similar result by being this manipulative in real life. But thing is, all this goes against all my previous ideologies of trying to be always a good guy, I think!

Is it that I have to turn a little bit "bad" to be LET to reach my goals? Should I really put this into practice more often?

 

[Gritches]

I got a good piece of advice lately that I think will apply here: "How did you learn the difference between how you act in a bar and how you act in Church?"

Everything you described is actually good practice - the good results you've seen are no mistake, and the fact that you figured out the theory and successfully implemented it as a product of original thought tells me you are chock-full of potential. Seriously, kudos and much respect.

But to answer your questions: yes and yes. Manipulation is a totally normal part of success in any social system. You aren't even close to the only one doing something similar, so really it's more like assimilating to the dominant culture. It may seem a little bad, and you're not wrong to feel that way, but I assure you that it doesn't make you a bad guy.

Bad people don't manipulate others in order to get along with them and thus have a fair chance for their merits to be recognized; rather, they manipulate people to hurt them or gain at their expense. That's where I draw the line, anyway.

 

[Mia]

Hey Inator one of the things I learned in the corporate world is how to pass, no matter how bad it got I never let them see that they were getting to me. Your description sounds like it is working for a company, with a hierarchy, with all kinds of personalities, with the two-faced, with the back-biters, with the gossips, with the controllers. If you don't learn to play the game, the way the game is played by the majority then they notice and they begin to undermine, its a bit like that in school as well. I learned interactive person to person politics very early on, not by participating, by watching and listening.

I let people talk, and I nodded my head a lot. I was known as a good listener. All the while, I was 'sussing' out the person, figuring them out. Don't think of it as manipulative, consider it the way that the N/T world works, approach it as if you were an alien studying a another species. Having to fit into that world, requires a great deal of skill and conformity. It's something you can learn if you decide to. It has it's benefits that world, you can exist in it without really giving it much thought. All the while thinking about other things.