I nearly cancelled out seeing a psychiatrist nurse, as I just knew it was not going to be of any use to me ie talking about very difficult things.
Was persuaded by hubby that I have to go and cancel in person, because I had gone over the 48hr slot of cancellation and so, on our way, we were actually early and I said: since I am on the way, might as well go through with the appointment.
I hate prejudging and I am afraid I did just that. I met the therapst in the reception area and well, the first small interchange was abrupt and I thought: oh, I don't like you. How wrong I was!
Pretty composed I was on entering her room; until it veered to the reason for being there and it did not take too long before the blasted tears flowed ie ptsd symptoms. She thankfully was very kind and said that she was not going to force me to talk and asked if I wanted to stick to my psychiatrist and I gave a nod, because I am beginning to feel comfortable with him and that is despite him challenging my comfort zone.
It is weird, because I had to mention aspergers; a sense of: I am hiding things by not and yet, fairly immediately she smiled and shook her head and said: no, you do not have aspergers. But most surprisingly, my husband pipes up and says: I don't know about that one and went on to tell her how strict I am with time; that he has to say: I will be 5 or 10 minutes and not: there abouts and says: she will come out to me and point to her watch and say: you are late! He did mention the obsessions etc too.
What was amusing is her saying that aspergers is accepted in France, but I know she was basing that on a preconceived idea of what it is, so I boldly told her that the ratio of boys getting diagnosed is much higher than girls, as girls are able to mask quite a bit and she actually did not dispute that. But I still sensed she is confirmed in her own mind that I do not have aspergers and I threw out: if I do not; how come I communicate with some who do have aspergers and we are on the same page? That many females and some men, are told they don't have it, because they do not tick all the boxes and again, she did not argue the point, but I strongly sense that it will not go further.
I think the worst for me, is a strong sense of the "patient" does not have brains enough to figure things out.
Was persuaded by hubby that I have to go and cancel in person, because I had gone over the 48hr slot of cancellation and so, on our way, we were actually early and I said: since I am on the way, might as well go through with the appointment.
I hate prejudging and I am afraid I did just that. I met the therapst in the reception area and well, the first small interchange was abrupt and I thought: oh, I don't like you. How wrong I was!
Pretty composed I was on entering her room; until it veered to the reason for being there and it did not take too long before the blasted tears flowed ie ptsd symptoms. She thankfully was very kind and said that she was not going to force me to talk and asked if I wanted to stick to my psychiatrist and I gave a nod, because I am beginning to feel comfortable with him and that is despite him challenging my comfort zone.
It is weird, because I had to mention aspergers; a sense of: I am hiding things by not and yet, fairly immediately she smiled and shook her head and said: no, you do not have aspergers. But most surprisingly, my husband pipes up and says: I don't know about that one and went on to tell her how strict I am with time; that he has to say: I will be 5 or 10 minutes and not: there abouts and says: she will come out to me and point to her watch and say: you are late! He did mention the obsessions etc too.
What was amusing is her saying that aspergers is accepted in France, but I know she was basing that on a preconceived idea of what it is, so I boldly told her that the ratio of boys getting diagnosed is much higher than girls, as girls are able to mask quite a bit and she actually did not dispute that. But I still sensed she is confirmed in her own mind that I do not have aspergers and I threw out: if I do not; how come I communicate with some who do have aspergers and we are on the same page? That many females and some men, are told they don't have it, because they do not tick all the boxes and again, she did not argue the point, but I strongly sense that it will not go further.
I think the worst for me, is a strong sense of the "patient" does not have brains enough to figure things out.