Therapist shakes head twice, when you mention aspergers

[Suzanne]

I nearly cancelled out seeing a psychiatrist nurse, as I just knew it was not going to be of any use to me ie talking about very difficult things.

Was persuaded by hubby that I have to go and cancel in person, because I had gone over the 48hr slot of cancellation and so, on our way, we were actually early and I said: since I am on the way, might as well go through with the appointment.

I hate prejudging and I am afraid I did just that. I met the therapst in the reception area and well, the first small interchange was abrupt and I thought: oh, I don't like you. How wrong I was!

Pretty composed I was on entering her room; until it veered to the reason for being there and it did not take too long before the blasted tears flowed ie ptsd symptoms. She thankfully was very kind and said that she was not going to force me to talk and asked if I wanted to stick to my psychiatrist and I gave a nod, because I am beginning to feel comfortable with him and that is despite him challenging my comfort zone.

It is weird, because I had to mention aspergers; a sense of: I am hiding things by not and yet, fairly immediately she smiled and shook her head and said: no, you do not have aspergers. But most surprisingly, my husband pipes up and says: I don't know about that one and went on to tell her how strict I am with time; that he has to say: I will be 5 or 10 minutes and not: there abouts and says: she will come out to me and point to her watch and say: you are late! He did mention the obsessions etc too.

What was amusing is her saying that aspergers is accepted in France, but I know she was basing that on a preconceived idea of what it is, so I boldly told her that the ratio of boys getting diagnosed is much higher than girls, as girls are able to mask quite a bit and she actually did not dispute that. But I still sensed she is confirmed in her own mind that I do not have aspergers and I threw out: if I do not; how come I communicate with some who do have aspergers and we are on the same page? That many females and some men, are told they don't have it, because they do not tick all the boxes and again, she did not argue the point, but I strongly sense that it will not go further.

I think the worst for me, is a strong sense of the "patient" does not have brains enough to figure things out.

 

[Streetwise]

I nearly cancelled out seeing a psychiatrist nurse, as I just knew it was not going to be of any use to me ie talking about very difficult things.

Was persuaded by hubby that I have to go and cancel in person, because I had gone over the 48hr slot of cancellation and so, on our way, we were actually early and I said: since I am on the way, might as well go through with the appointment.

I hate prejudging and I am afraid I did just that. I met the therapst in the reception area and well, the first small interchange was abrupt and I thought: oh, I don't like you. How wrong I was!

Pretty composed I was on entering her room; until it veered to the reason for being there and it did not take too long before the blasted tears flowed ie ptsd symptoms. She thankfully was very kind and said that she was not going to force me to talk and asked if I wanted to stick to my psychiatrist and I gave a nod, because I am beginning to feel comfortable with him and that is despite him challenging my comfort zone.

It is weird, because I had to mention aspergers; a sense of: I am hiding things by not and yet, fairly immediately she smiled and shook her head and said: no, you do not have aspergers. But most surprisingly, my husband pipes up and says: I don't know about that one and went on to tell her how strict I am with time; that he has to say: I will be 5 or 10 minutes and not: there abouts and says: she will come out to me and point to her watch and say: you are late! He did mention the obsessions etc too.

What was amusing is her saying that aspergers is accepted in France, but I know she was basing that on a preconceived idea of what it is, so I boldly told her that the ratio of boys getting diagnosed is much higher than girls, as girls are able to mask quite a bit and she actually did not dispute that. But I still sensed she is confirmed in her own mind that I do not have aspergers and I threw out: if I do not; how come I communicate with some who do have aspergers and we are on the same page? That many females and some men, are told they don't have it, because they do not tick all the boxes and again, she did not argue the point, but I strongly sense that it will not go further.

I think the worst for me, is a strong sense of the "patient" does not have brains enough to figure things out.

you wouldn't get any further in the UK they are exactly the same !unless you get a diagnosis you're a hypochondriac.

 

[Judge]

She might be only pretending to personally acknowledge Aspergers Syndrome, only as a ploy to gain your confidence of her and put you at ease. After all, she still has to deal with a professional medical establishment that doesn't even acknowledge AS. And as a therapist- not an actual doctor.

By your own account, it stands to reason that a medical professional's "understanding" of Aspergers Syndrome in a country whose medical establishment won't even acknowledge it probably will reflect a very flawed understanding in the first place. Even if it involves an M.D..

Kind of creepy to think you're being "taken for a ride" in this instance. Meaning IMO you're likely being deceived on multiple levels probably with the intent to steer you away from any consideration of being on the spectrum of autism. It just strikes me as being very toxic for you to interact with the French medical establishment under such circumstances.

 

[Bolletje]

Keep in mind that this is the personal opinion of someone who is not qualified to diagnose you. Don't let it bug you too much.

 

[AO1501]

My understanding is that in France there is very little concept of Asperger's, and that the broad view of autism there is still very much fixed on the classic understanding of low functioning symptoms. If so, it would tend to make a high functioning diagnosis very difficult to get.

 

[Judge]

Keep in mind that this is the personal opinion of someone who is not qualified to diagnose you. Don't let it bug you too much.

Indeed. I can't imagine being diagnosed by a mere therapist, but I know it happens in any number of jurisdictions across the globe.

Something I've posted many times. That personally I wouldn't deal with anyone less than a psychiatrist or neurologist specializing in forms of autism.

Though in the case of France not even acknowledging Aspergers Syndrome, it seems like a moot point. Even in the event she were to encounter a genuinely sympathetic opinion on a professional level. I just personally can't imagine gaining much of anyone's trust in such circumstances. Very sad.

 

[Streetwise]

according to a french Wikipedia article the CFTMEA has recognised Aspergers syndrome since year 2000! but a lot of therapists don't want to do the diagnosis as they disagree with it ,sometimes it's called multiple complex developmental disorder.

 

[Suzanne]

My husband said that I should ask an independant French person what is there understanding of aspergers?

I had that thought whilst in the room; but felt it was rude of me to ask, so I refrained.

 

[Judge]

according to a french Wikipedia article the CFTMEA has recognised Aspergers syndrome since year 2000! but a lot of therapists don't want to do the diagnosis as they disagree with it ,sometimes it's called multiple complex developmental disorder.

That appears to be academic given the actual nature of how their medical community responds to autism in general. Relying primarily on psychoanalysis alone.

'France is 50 years behind': the 'state scandal' of French autism treatment

Imagine a formal medical establishment who still thinks you can talk someone out of their autism.

 

[Streetwise]

That appears to be academic given the actual nature of how their medical community responds to autism in general. Relying primarily on psychoanalysis alone.

'France is 50 years behind': the 'state scandal' of French autism treatment

Imagine a formal medical establishment who still thinks you can talk someone out of their autism.

and if it's not psychological they give you a pessary?! why are pessary for everything I don't know? .

 

[Suzanne]

you wouldn't get any further in the UK they are exactly the same !unless you get a diagnosis you're a hypochondriac.

Mmmm well, I do sadly tend towards hypochondria, but due to my interest in medicine ( natural), I actually can get past the panic now.

 

[Streetwise]

Mmmm well, I do sadly tend towards hypochondria, but due to my interest in medicine ( natural), I actually can get past the panic now.

but doctors seem to forget they miss diagnosing conditions every day I would say that was a reason to not be Judge mental!.

 

[Suzanne]

She might be only pretending to personally acknowledge Aspergers Syndrome, only as a ploy to gain your confidence of her and put you at ease. After all, she still has to deal with a professional medical establishment that doesn't even acknowledge AS. And as a therapist- not an actual doctor.

By your own account, it stands to reason that a medical professional's "understanding" of Aspergers Syndrome in a country whose medical establishment won't even acknowledge it probably will reflect a very flawed understanding in the first place. Even if it involves an M.D..

Kind of creepy to think you're being "taken for a ride" in this instance. Meaning IMO you're likely being deceived on multiple levels probably with the intent to steer you away from any consideration of being on the spectrum of autism. It just strikes me as being very toxic for you to interact with the French medical establishment under such circumstances.

Interesting slant on this, but in fact her shaking of the head with smile, was a little condescending and oh dear, you do have it way out, dear, kind of thing.

 

[Judge]

Interesting slant on this, but in fact her shaking of the head with smile, was a little condescending and oh dear, you do have it way out, dear, kind of thing.

Imagine your own therapist being passive-aggressive. But then there's no telling how many in the medical field are instantly offended if you as a patient offer any medical input. Particularly if you acquired it from the Internet. Where at that point there's no telling how many condescending gestures may be coming your way.

 

[LucyPurrs]

Why not focus on your goals? You want to be able to go out of your house more comfortably, right? Be able to greet someone without panicking or worrying that you'll have to have a conversation?
Not sure what else but you're more likely to benefit from the therapy if you focus on and work towards meeting your goals regardless of your diagnosis.

 

[Suzanne]

Keep in mind that this is the personal opinion of someone who is not qualified to diagnose you. Don't let it bug you too much.

Surprising it is not bugging me too much, because I expected it. More frustrated in truth.

 

[Suzanne]

My understanding is that in France there is very little concept of Asperger's, and that the broad view of autism there is still very much fixed on the classic understanding of low functioning symptoms. If so, it would tend to make a high functioning diagnosis very difficult to get.

When I said this to her, she shook her head and disputed this to be true; but what I found out about French thinking is that they are actually pretty black and white. They tend to lump things together. For example. I had xrays to show that I had lymphedema in my legs, so who can dispute that eh? And yet, there was no answer to why such a dreadful condition. And when I mentioned to some I had it, they were surprised and then, I happen to be in hospital and low and behold, I was diagnosed with insufficient venus, which is due to lack of walking! So, it does not surrpise me that they do not seperate autism and aspergers. Because even my dr said she had heard of aspergers and then, said: you don't have autism!!!

 

[Suzanne]

Imagine your own therapist being passive-aggressive. But then there's no telling how many in the medical field are instantly offended if you as a patient offer any medical input. Particularly if you acquired it from the Internet. Where at that point there's no telling how many condescending gestures may be coming your way.

It is interesting, because I mentioned aspiecentral and she actually did not go on a rant about how dangerous these sites are and that I must be careful for I do not know who I am talking to. No, instead she said: if you get comfort from that site, I understand why you would use it.

 

[Judge]

It is interesting, because I mentioned aspiecentral and she actually did not go on a rant about how dangerous these sites are and that I must be careful for I do not know who I am talking to. No, instead she said: if you get comfort from that site, I understand why you would use it.

Sounds very manipulative, and still basically passive-aggressive. I wouldn't walk away from such a person- I'd run. IMO that's worse than a rant. That we could be a "dangerous" influence, but if it pleases you that's fine.

As a therapist, I wouldn't assume it's her intent to let you know exactly what she's thinking at any given time. She's probably fundamentally trained not to necessarily project their thoughts. Just because she doesn't project ire doesn't mean she doesn't have it. Especially if her responses are so clearly passive-aggressive. Think about it. But then the motive seems simple. To steer you away from autism incrementally, if need be.

It wouldn't surprise me if at some point she'll recommend cutting off contact with this community, as we represent a point of view contrary to your adopted country's medical establishment. Yet over the years like most of us here, you seem to fit in quite well. Quite a quandary.

 

[Suzanne]

Why not focus on your goals? You want to be able to go out of your house more comfortably, right? Be able to greet someone without panicking or worrying that you'll have to have a conversation?
Not sure what else but you're more likely to benefit from the therapy if you focus on and work towards meeting your goals regardless of your diagnosis.

In truth, my goal for seeing a therapist, was to get help financially. This is because, for years I have tried to push myself to go outside and yes, I have succeeded on a few occasions and yes, I have found the more I go out on my own, the better I feel; but it was a trip to the uk to see my favourite singer ( who inspired me enough to want to go and see her live) and when my husband said he was not going to go with me, I somehow managed to put together an itinery and took courage and go on my own and for the first time ever, went to a concert on my own! I was away for a month and that trip taught me that social phobia is a part of me, because it was an awful experience! Try being at a concert on your own and knowing you are married and live in a different country, but all that completely disappears and you feel like a child again? It was so demoralising and never again, will I do that.