The Weird Life Of A Person With AuDHD

[KevinMao133]

Looking at it from the autistic perspective, my life is pretty good. I’m focused on things I want to focus on and generally speaking I’m content

Problem is I’m not 100% autistic, instead I’m diagnosed with AuDHD. Part of me is autistic, part of me is ADHD

Life is confusing at times. The ADHD side of me comes out and often it’s ugly. I am currently stuck in the phase where I feel empty and not empty at the same time. I also care too much about what others think, since I struggle with social media use

I always struggle with regulating my emotions and often times I feel intrusive emotions that scare the living crap out of me. Anxiety, mood swings, something I have been experiencing for the last week or so

It’s weird to explain as I have experienced every emotion I could possibly experience. Whether it’s anxiety, happiness, anger, I experienced it all and am continuing to experience them

It’s weird to explain. I would like to treat ADHD, or at least improve the condition but it’s hard

 

[Misty Avich]

I have Asperger's and ADHD but I find most of my personal traits I have are characterized by ADHD more than Asperger's, although Asperger's is the one I hate, while I seem more accepting of ADHD.

 

[Wolfiedog]

It is weird.
Sometimes very distressing.
Let me know if you find a treatment.

 

[Shamar]

Looking at it from the autistic perspective, my life is pretty good. I’m focused on things I want to focus on and generally speaking I’m content

Problem is I’m not 100% autistic, instead I’m diagnosed with AuDHD. Part of me is autistic, part of me is ADHD

Life is confusing at times. The ADHD side of me comes out and often it’s ugly. I am currently stuck in the phase where I feel empty and not empty at the same time. I also care too much about what others think, since I struggle with social media use

I always struggle with regulating my emotions and often times I feel intrusive emotions that scare the living crap out of me. Anxiety, mood swings, something I have been experiencing for the last week or so

It’s weird to explain as I have experienced every emotion I could possibly experience. Whether it’s anxiety, happiness, anger, I experienced it all and am continuing to experience them

It’s weird to explain. I would like to treat ADHD, or at least improve the condition but it’s hard

I am AD(no H)D and Asperger's (are we allowed to use that term?). You may have already known that. What you describe does not seem unusual to me. Then again, NT behavior usually DOES seem unusual to me. My autism and ADD frequently come into conflict. For example, I am a compulsive explorer, but I like the exploration to be routine.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Same here my life is not that bad now that I found the right church community. I do have female friends that are not in relationships and actually want to hangout with me and have already twice solo on moved out of the country in 2021 but the other I still can keep in touch.

I might not have ADHD but I definitely have Rejection sensitive dysphoria especially towards women which my church is helping me with.

 

[Neri]

I am diagnosed AuDHD too. ASD2 (but I have the above average IQ type, the "twice exceptional type) and ADHD combined types. I have found psychedelics help with my Autism but seem to make my ADHD worse; a sacrifice I'm ok to make, but the untreated, pretty chronic and extreme ADHD symptoms are hard to live with. The 2 diagnoses pull me in opposite ways. My Autism craves routine and my ADHD gets bored with it, easily, and boredom is it's personal hell. So, I cope with artistic practise; singing, improv mainly. I don't retain song lyrics, even my own with the ADHD, purcussion, stimming, dance when I get the chance, things like that. It's hard though, I very emotional AND very cerebral. Currently single, having just left my 2nd, long term, neurospicy, but ultimately toxic relationship.

 

[Misty Avich]

I don't care for routine, though I'm not keen on change but that usually depends on what the change is and if it'll benefit me or not. Most people don't like change but I'm unsure on what sort of change autistics don't like Vs what NTs don't like.

I have quite "severe" ADHD that surprisingly wasn't addressed sooner in my life. I have hyperactivity (both behaviour-wise and cognitively), impulsive behaviours that can often land me in trouble (not with the law but just at work), inattentiveness that can make learning and focusing difficult, and emotional irregularity. I feel emotions very deeply and they can make me obsess over certain situations, if they involve other people. I'm very sensitive to other people's motives, feelings, thoughts, actions, everything like that.

ADHD and anxiety affects me the most at work. If I didn't need to work, I think I'd be able to handle my life better. Work is a huge set-back. It's a headache. Rules, timekeeping, motivation, keeping on task - it's all a challenge. Sometimes I find I have wandered off and got sidetracked or talking to someone, without actually intending to. Then I get tellings off or a disciplinary. And I become frustrated and angry at myself for making such poor decisions and stupid mistakes. And it's embarrassing too.

It's no good telling everyone that I do these things because I have ADHD, because then they might think I'm just making excuses or wanting special treatment. I might even be referred to as a snowflake, which I don't want to be really.

And, on top of all that, is the anxiety. I worry about everything, which most are caused by phobias or past traumas. So when feeling angered or frustrated or embarrassed or hurt or helpless or panicky, I go into meltdown mode and act like it's the end of the world, because to me it is. So when I'm feeling like this, I seek reassurance. I have to. I cannot worry alone. I find the saying "a problem shared is a problem halved" rings very true for me. Once I have spoken to someone I trust, as in confided in them and got some answers or reassurance, the anxiety begins to ease. It makes me feel safe and secure that somebody (preferably a few people) know the problem that's triggered me and know how I'm feeling.

But it's problematic. In the workplace you can't go slamming doors and storming off to the bathroom to cry and finding the nearest trusted person to panic to all because your ADHD behaviours have gotten you into trouble again. You also can't turn up to work feeling like you have to physically force yourself to do anything and your mind is elsewhere and you just can't focus on anything and you just want to go home and do something creative that relaxes you and takes you away from all the bad things in the world.

How can anyone possibly work with a brain like this? It's so hard. Basically ADHD is a disability for some of us, although sadly there are still people out there who think ADHD is a "kids thing" or a "personality type". No, it is so much more than that.

 

[kriss72]

I'm also dual diagnosed with adhd and asd, I wouldn't swap my brain for one that didn't have the conditions, but they are annoying and really hurtful at times...

For me the adhd is primarily preventing me from doing things I want for myself, as I become distracted, don't think things through etc - where the asd part of me prevents me from interacting with others in an nt way, makes me anxious in public etc..there is some overlap, like if I want to go to a shop, but can't at that time because there are too many people, or the adhd prevents me keeping a "normal" conversation because my thoughts are jumping around and playing association games...

 

[Aspychata]

Crave routine yet can find it boring, these are conflicting needs, emotional regulation, and feeling overwhelmed. Hate being manipulated, and can isolate when l am just fed up with a situation. l feel l deal with AD something, and Aspy something just creating a trainspotting of endless drama waste zone of forgettable moments especially with my mother. My father who has moved on to create drama somewhere else.