DJ-Daz
Active Member
I may come across as sad in this topic, it is sad, sorry.
I gave my parents hell over the years, firstly at school, I probably don't need to tell anyone here how bad an experience school is for an autistic child. But even in infant school I used to "elope", or run home. Often I'd beat my mum home, and she had handed me personally to a teacher.
It was the same all the way through, infants, juniors and high school was a mess. I would barely turn up one day a week in high school.
Once I started working though things improved. Until they didn't. Depression started to win throughout my teens and it never really left, and they worried themselves sick.
Don't get me wrong, I had amazing parents, but I was born in 1970, so there was no chance of a diagnosis, I only got that this year, so they tried their very best to support me, but like many parents at the time, they had no idea what to do for me.
I did work, and for a good portion of my life, but my mental health was always bad, so they worried some more.
Eventually their health failed, I gave up work (very willingly!) and looked after them, and my mentally handicapped uncle.
My dad died quite young at 63 in 2003, my mum in 2017, my uncle 2023. (I should say I helped look after dad, but returned to work for several years, then stopped again to look after my mum and my uncle).
Once mum died I entered burnout and I've been in burnout ever since. At least now I know it's burnout, I had no idea for a few years, and now I also know why I'm burnt out.
I finally had my diagnosis this year (March 2025) and now I almost fully understand myself, my mental health struggles, my behaviour issues and much more.
But the one thing I cannot change is the fact that my parents died without knowing. I wish I could have told them years ago, it probably wouldn't stop the worry, but they too could have understood me better and maybe they wouldn't have been hard on themselves.
I gave my parents hell over the years, firstly at school, I probably don't need to tell anyone here how bad an experience school is for an autistic child. But even in infant school I used to "elope", or run home. Often I'd beat my mum home, and she had handed me personally to a teacher.
It was the same all the way through, infants, juniors and high school was a mess. I would barely turn up one day a week in high school.
Once I started working though things improved. Until they didn't. Depression started to win throughout my teens and it never really left, and they worried themselves sick.
Don't get me wrong, I had amazing parents, but I was born in 1970, so there was no chance of a diagnosis, I only got that this year, so they tried their very best to support me, but like many parents at the time, they had no idea what to do for me.
I did work, and for a good portion of my life, but my mental health was always bad, so they worried some more.
Eventually their health failed, I gave up work (very willingly!) and looked after them, and my mentally handicapped uncle.
My dad died quite young at 63 in 2003, my mum in 2017, my uncle 2023. (I should say I helped look after dad, but returned to work for several years, then stopped again to look after my mum and my uncle).
Once mum died I entered burnout and I've been in burnout ever since. At least now I know it's burnout, I had no idea for a few years, and now I also know why I'm burnt out.
I finally had my diagnosis this year (March 2025) and now I almost fully understand myself, my mental health struggles, my behaviour issues and much more.
But the one thing I cannot change is the fact that my parents died without knowing. I wish I could have told them years ago, it probably wouldn't stop the worry, but they too could have understood me better and maybe they wouldn't have been hard on themselves.
5.7 | Action, Adventure, Drama
