The Dilemma of Highly Gifted Students

[KevinMao133]

School was never my forte

My issue however wasn’t so much on grades or homework, as I did everything I could

I struggled with behaving properly. I did not like the rules and I wanted to do things my way

Such is the dilemma of highly gifted students. Growing up I was always highly competitive, wanted to destroy everybody

I wish schools can realize that and allow us to learn on our own

I feel like the common rule doesn’t apply to us and it restrains us from being us

 

[thejuice]

The only time I learned anything was on holidays before exams, on my own. I enjoyed the thrill of exams. I zoned out all day at school. Hated coursework. Hated being told what to do and their petty rules. Hated the teachers pets. Thought most of the teachers were dull. I enjoyed the indignation of students I beat, as they probably thought I was stupid. They underestimated my hyper focus.

 

[Cryptid]

The teachers told me, "Let the others have a chance to answer the questions" so many times that I stopped raising my hand. Then they told my parents that I was not participating in class.

When I aced quizzes and exams, someone would always accuse me of cheating. "Memorizing the material is not cheating", I told them. "You're not supposed to memorize it, you're supposed to learn it", they said.

Some teachers would go so far as to ask me if I wanted to teach the class. I would ask them, "Do you want to pay me for doing your job?" That never went over well with the teachers . . . or the principals . . . or my parents.

All because the dominant members of the school board believed in conformity by age-group, and not in challenging students to their full potential by allowing them to skip grades.

 

[Jumpinbare]

The teachers told me, "Let the others have a chance to answer the questions" so many times that I stopped raising my hand.

I was in that club too. Fortunately my teachers didn't complain about participation

 

[The Pandector]

The teachers told me, "Let the others have a chance to answer the questions" so many times that I stopped raising my hand. Then they told my parents that I was not participating in class.

When I aced quizzes and exams, someone would always accuse me of cheating. "Memorizing the material is not cheating", I told them. "You're not supposed to memorize it, you're supposed to learn it", they said.

Some teachers would go so far as to ask me if I wanted to teach the class. I would ask them, "Do you want to pay me for doing your job?" That never went over well with the teachers . . . or the principals . . . or my parents.

All because the dominant members of the school board believed in conformity by age-group, and not in challenging students to their full potential by allowing them to skip grades.

I won’t launch, but only say that the age segregation that public schools have imbedded in our mindsets is a terrible problem, which I guarantee will not be discovered and addressed by our school system.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Most of modern education has less to do with learning and thinking and more to do with being able to follow directions, temporarily memorize, and the self-discipline to persevere. I often tell my students that as difficult as it seems now, your real education occurs after you leave school. You may be happy with a 90% on a test now, but in the real world, 99.9% correct could get you fired, or worse, someone dies (medical field, pilot, etc). So, no pressure.

 

[jsilver256]

My youngest is just like you. He is so resistant to any kind of instruction but loves teaching himself.

When he turned 2, as in just turned 2, he saw a Daniel Tiger video and decided right then he was potty trained. We tried to deter him but he threw off his diapers. It took him a few weeks but he did teach himself to go potty, he did not want any help from us. I might add that he wasn't speaking at the time either, he didn't speak until he was like 2.5.

He taught himself to read as well and is doing 2nd grade math (he is 5) which he taught himself by listening to us explain concepts to our other son. But he has behavior issues in class and at home. Doesn't hear us, won't cooperate with kids, won't learn anything he's not motivated to, you know all the symptoms.

I don't know what the point of sharing that was, just that you are not the only one.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I remember in grade 5 I got tested for reading tested high school level grade 12 teacher hyped up some other student who was a couple grades ahead ignored me. went out side meet my brother grade behind me he had been given the same test he wax at university level. I threw the test out did not even show my parents. that's how school works. If you are bright they destroy you. My younger brother is not on the spectrum.

 

[Mary Terry]

Interesting thread. My experience at public school was that the smarter kids were not classroom disrupters. They had the ability/intelligence/discipline to just go with the flow and not obsess over things that were not precisely to their liking. It was the low performance, not very bright kids who had the most behavioral issues.

 

[Misty Avich]

When I was 15 we were told to do an art project for art class. We had to read books and research art to give us Ideas. But I already had an idea without having to read books. I put a lot of effort, and money, into decorating a unique aquarium-like pattern on some paper plates and they were very good.
And, guess what? I got an F for being too creative! Turns out I was supposed to only get design ideas from the books we were given. But I always thought the whole point of art was to express yourself and be creative. I think the grade should have gone to the creative mind. I've always struggled gathering information from reading books.

But the reverse happened in wood class. I thought up an excellent, unique design idea for a CD rack, and although I needed help making it, I did deserve an A for coming up with the design. But the highest they were allowed to give me was a C, because I was in wood class 2 which was for the underachievers who weren't predicted an A so a C was the highest grade we could get. Stupid system really.

So I never got an A in anything.

 

[Mary Terry]

I remember in grade 5 I got tested for reading tested high school level grade 12 teacher hyped up some other student who was a couple grades ahead ignored me. went out side meet my brother grade behind me he had been given the same test he wax at university level. I threw the test out did not even show my parents. that's how school works. If you are bright they destroy you. My younger brother is not on the spectrum.

I started reading when I was 2 years old after my mother taught me the alphabet. I also tested at 12th grade reading comprehension level when I was in the 4th grade. My teacher made me sit in the back of the classroom so I could teach the slow reading children how to read and absorb what they read. Child labor?

I skipped the 11th grade in high school, went from being a sophomore to a senior in one year, and graduated when I was 17. I started college at age 17 so I was younger than most college freshmen. In retrospect, it was the right path for me.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Starting to get hints that the next generation grand children in my siblings family may be gifted basically 5 generations, hope we get it right still curious where this came from one of the puzzles I have been working on for years looks like two very gifted families merged at my grand parents level waiting to get DNA results in the next few weeks. Why does my family refuse to regress to the mean very odd. A lot of our spouses are bright my siblings hypothesis. Explains some but my mother and a few aunts were just typical yet my mother had basically six bright kids unheard of for any typical family, most of my cousins on my dads side of the family are bright even his cousin
when the guidance councilor told me we were the brightest family he had ever encountered in his career he had no clue it extended into my extended family.

 

[Mary Terry]

Starting to get hints that the next generation grand children in my siblings family may be gifted basically 5 generations, hope we get it right still curious where this came from one of the puzzles I have been working on for years looks like two very gifted families merged at my grand parents level waiting to get DNA results in the next few weeks. Why does my family refuse to regress to the mean very odd. A lot of our spouses are bright my siblings hypothesis. Explains some but my mother and a few aunts were just typical yet my mother had basically six bright kids unheard of for any typical family, most of my cousins on my dads side of the family are bright even his cousin
when the guidance councilor told me we were the brightest family he had ever encountered in his career he had no clue it extended into my extended family.

Is it nurture or nature? Most likely, it is both.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Looks like nature to me some of the families are well to do no issues of abuse in any of the families or even substance abuse. Lots of diversity. only a few of use that are college educated or just high school even they are top of there trade one cousin dropped out of university, subsequently won the Worlds best cabinet making championship. in the 1970's. My son as he had a learning disability took cabinet making in high school had no idea about my cousin. His teacher may have recognized the surname. but probably did not see the connection. I cannot take a physics course before the teacher asks me any relation to Peter. My response I Wish I knew.

 

[jsilver256]

Interesting thread. My experience at public school was that the smarter kids were not classroom disrupters. They had the ability/intelligence/discipline to just go with the flow and not obsess over things that were not precisely to their liking. It was the low performance, not very bright kids who had the most behavioral issues.

To be fair, how much time does anyone of us spend looking past "behavioral issues" in other kids? It can also easily be a self-perpetuating cycle, where the parents give up on a kid, kid falls behind, etc. Thomas Edison got kicked out of school for his ADHD.

 

[Judge]

it would seem as time marches on, terms like "gifted" have become more confusing to me. Much like concepts such as fame and fortune. Where perceived "plusses" may not always exceed their "minuses".

I have a nephew who in his childhood was approached by John Hopkins University to be invited into their "gifted" students program. After careful consideration and much pressure from his parents, he declined the invitation. I still wonder on occasion how his life might have turned out had he gone through such a program and had his intellect validated in such a way.

Instead, he was quite the popular "big man on campus" in high school, married his high school sweetheart, and seemed to excel in many ways so indicative of NTs. He even became an accomplished pilot. Yet he never considered higher education and still managed to land a complex managerial job in finance that pays reasonably well by present standards.

While I don't experience envy or jealousy, I do like to believe that for him, his choice was a good one.

"Gifted". - A badge of honor, or a scarlet letter ? For some it remains a blessing, for others a curse.

 

[Judge]

Interesting thread. My experience at public school was that the smarter kids were not classroom disrupters. They had the ability/intelligence/discipline to just go with the flow and not obsess over things that were not precisely to their liking. It was the low performance, not very bright kids who had the most behavioral issues.

My experience as well, noting the "gifted" kids being rather quiet and overtly studious.

Though the real observation came later to see so many of them standing in line for classes at a community college, having utterly failed their first semester in the University of California system. Particularly UCB.

I guess they weren't as "gifted" as perceived. Whatever it really means.

 

[jsilver256]

I served on a scholarship committee for an impoverished school district. There were students who had straight A's in 10 AP classes, were volunteering many hours, were models in every way, yet never scored above a 1 on the actual AP test. It was astounding and confounding to me. I don't think I ever saw an AP score above a 2.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

What I have noticed lately is matters degrees have been down graded to undergraduate degrees Even had discussion about this with a buddy a professor of chemistry he noticed the difference in his students, when he teaches undergrad courses. I had a good discussion with a former lab partner he thought his kids were gifted as they were straight A students and took the same university course as my older brother engineering co-op. My bother was a recognized genius and his work terms reflected this, my brother did not finish his last work term paper to get his degree as he was not interested in the piece of paper but just wanted the education. wrote a brilliant paper 15 years later when he lost his job and professor told him the paper is for others not you. The year he turned 65 and died I could not find his degree and high school awards he had chucked them.

 

[Judge]

What I have noticed lately is masters degrees have been down graded to undergraduate degrees

True. Victims of supply and demand. Too many out there with masters degrees who can so easily be dismissed or cherry-picked by employers unwilling to compensate them for their higher education. More so now given all those accredited institutions offering education through the Internet.

Bottom line being there's no guarantees of hitting it rich with a higher education. Not now, and not even earlier in some cases.

I still recall in 1996 when my underwriting manager actually warned me about going after specialized higher education in insurance. That the prestige of it won't measure up in terms of a higher salary. She was right, even though she herself held such designations. Where the key to success was more a matter of timing with a vibrant economy than anything else.

Ironically just two years later I was actively seeking a formal vocational certificate in website design. Couldn't get my foot in the door of most Silicon Valley employers without it at the time. Yet at the time I was already quite adept at actual website design and implementation. Where I met a fellow student who was there for the same reason. Just that "piece of paper". And we both ended up working for the same employer in the same department.