The Dichotomy of Being An Autistic, Without Daily Support Needs

[Legend In My Own Mind]

I've managed adequately for 63 years and retired from the USAF after over 25 years.

I'm self-diagnosed for autism, ADHD and Alexithymia. My issues are mild but have caused quite the stirs, over the years. The self-enforced isolation bothered me, in the sense I am not like my peers and don't understand them. I have most of the honesty/loyalty/no nonsense attitudes of the community and that caused conflict.

However through necessity I learned to take care of myself and create potent defenses against Allistic attacks.

My main point here is that I experience many of the same difficulties, just not to the same degree as level 1 - 3. Does that mean I am NOT autistic/ADHD?

 

[Shamar]

Certainly sounds like autism. ASD-1 means you need little or no support in daily life. Whether you actually have autism or ADHD depends on how it affects your life. We don't require an official diagnosis here. You have found a community of like minded people. Welcome, relax, and enjoy.

 

[Lobelty]

I sometimes have the same feelings, thinking my symptoms aren’t strong enough to be a “proper” autistic person.

I think (and I want to stress this is all just made up in my mind, not evidence based) the reason for that might be masking. When I first did some online tests for self diagnosis purposes, I scored on the lower end for most of the symptoms but my results for masking were very high. I just spent a lot of energy and time in my life on trying to fit in and learn and practice how to make friends, be social, not stick out and so on..

And of course, when you do something for a long time, you eventually become good at it. And I think in the case of masking, I’ve just become very good at hiding my symptoms to the point where 1) I don’t even fully recognize them in myself anymore and 2) they don’t show up in tests.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I'm ASD-1 and have no supports.

 

[Legend In My Own Mind]

I sometimes have the same feelings, thinking my symptoms aren’t strong enough to be a “proper” autistic person.

I think (and I want to stress this is all just made up in my mind, not evidence based) the reason for that might be masking. When I first did some online tests for self diagnosis purposes, I scored on the lower end for most of the symptoms but my results for masking were very high. I just spent a lot of energy and time in my life on trying to fit in and learn and practice how to make friends, be social, not stick out and so on..

And of course, when you do something for a long time, you eventually become good at it. And I think in the case of masking, I’ve just become very good at hiding my symptoms to the point where 1) I don’t even fully recognize them in myself anymore and 2) they don’t show up in tests.

My masking strategy is offensive (in a passive way) to put people just a tch off-guard. I'm a publicly gregarious individual and take great joy in life. My larger than life persona resonates with my community and I'm able to contribute towards our future.

 

[Sherlock77]

I basically need no supports, don't have sensory issues around fabrics, and I have always worked fulltime, and I do street photography (other people in public)

But I was officially diagnosed with HFA-1, and there are some other areas of my life where I do see Autistic tendencies

I have sometimes felt like a slight sham, because I can't relate to people with different (more severe) needs, it doesn't make my diagnosis less valid as we all experience it differently

And I have been told by someone recently that science is moving away from the terms "high functioning" and "low functioning", admittedly things I have said maybe too often

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I've managed adequately for 63 years and retired from the USAF after over 25 years.

I'm self-diagnosed for autism, ADHD and Alexithymia. My issues are mild but have caused quite the stirs, over the years. The self-enforced isolation bothered me, in the sense I am not like my peers and don't understand them. I have most of the honesty/loyalty/no nonsense attitudes of the community and that caused conflict.

However through necessity I learned to take care of myself and create potent defenses against Allistic attacks.

My main point here is that I experience many of the same difficulties, just not to the same degree as level 1 - 3. Does that mean I am NOT autistic/ADHD?

The short answer: That has nothing to do with it.

There are "alpha" and "beta" personalities. An alpha will have some combination of these traits: One who is a quiet observer, doesn't take any crap from anyone, is there to help and assist, is the teacher and mentor, doesn't exhibit controlling behaviors, can lead from from the front or from behind, doesn't need the attention, is responsible to a fault, is comfortable with who they are and doesn't have to project, is rarely intimidated, etc. Of the "sheep, wolf, and sheepdog" analogy, the alpha is the "sheepdog". The beta is the opposite, and will exhibit some combination of these traits: The first to open their mouth, is the perpetual victim, no matter the topic, it's all about them, would rather withhold knowledge, will want to control, sometimes with intimidation, will easily be intimidated, will have to remind others that they are the leader, will draw attention to themselves, they project a false personality, and nothing is their fault. They can be either the "wolf or the sheep", the "predator or the prey". So, depending upon where they are on that spectrum will often lead to all sorts of associated psychological and personality issues.

I am going to guess from your post, especially being retired military, that you're probably an alpha. Adapt and overcome, responsible, strong sense of "rules of conduct" and moral compass, the "sheepdog", etc. You have your issues, but you are one to just internalize and deal with it as best you can. You take on challenges head on. You have a competitive streak. You see opportunities, not problems. You learn and apply.

An autistic can certainly be an alpha, but many are not. I tend to bring up my autistic traits and experiences as means of conveying that another person is not alone. Then two, how I approached it and made attempts to adapt and overcome. I am far less likely to bring up a difficulty I am having and seek answers and attention for myself. I have all the communication, sensory, and social issues and deficits that someone else here might have, or at least I have learned ways to minimize the effects. What I have done works well for me, I will share, and if it helps someone else, great. However, I quickly loose patience with the "perpetual victim", where no matter what I or anyone else has to say, they've got every excuse why "they can't".

 

[Luca]

I don’t require any supports and live independently. I work pretty much full time.
I don’t even see loved ones very often, which isn’t always a good thing.
I’m very used to doing everything by myself, for myself.

 

[Rodafina]

I think that’s why we emphasize the idea of the spectrum. There is a whole range of abilities and also challenges. I have required substantial support and did not fare well without it. I am 42, but live with my parents, work part time, and utilize an array of tools to mitigate sensory overwhelm. I also receive substantial mental health support. I spend a good part of everyday recovering from trying to be part of the world.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I also receive substantial mental health support.

This is a good point. Many of us here have probably needed this, whether we got it or not. And whether we live independently or not.

 

[Luca]

This is a good point. Many of us here have probably needed this, whether we got it or not. And whether we live independently or not.

Yes, this is true. I need it but unfortunately am not getting it at the moment

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

This is a good point. Many of us here have probably needed this, whether we got it or not. And whether we live independently or not.

Good point about mental health assistance. The past two years I have been fortunate to have a professional who understands autism and has challenged me, through CPT, to extinguish my PTSD. With this help I have gained the confidence to be a Big Brother to an autistic teen boy. A great responsibility.

 

[Tom]

You might be a level .5 ASD. What I mean is that one school of thought, with some good evidence behind it has 'near autiistic' also in the spectrum prior to level one. I think it is so. But I am uninformed on it's details. Someone here is very knowledgable on it, but I can't remember who.

Have you taken any of the self tests?

I was in same vocation, also career, but I can't say I did not need support. I am also only self diagnosed. Early on I was identified as having anxiety issue and was on medication on and off for it. Anxiety is stated to be a common co-morbid to autism. In addition I had to mask and secretly recharge massively at times. My wife also provided much support. This was before ASD was well known, and once I figured it out late in career I didn't want to persue a diagnosis. But despite struggles, I did well, even excelled at times, especially when I could bring my aspie superpowers to bear on the work.

 

[Crossbreed]

You might be a level .5 ASD.

Half-Aspergers...!

It is not a real diagnosis. It describes a person who is on the line of uncertainty.

 

[GypsyMoth]

Have you taken any of the self tests?

@Legend In My Own Mind, I took the self tests on a lark, to understand a family member better. Of course, I laughed when they came back with moderate to severe symptoms. So a month later I took another batch of self-tests, to prove to myself that I did not have autism. On the CAT-Q, which measures masking, I scored much, much higher than the average autistic scores. It turns out that NTs don’t score at all—or it’s very, very low. Though I have not redeemed myself through taking the self-tests, I found that hearing from a counselor that these were just a measure of how I saw myself was quite offensive. After all, this wasn’t something I was looking for. People who know me in person & have some knowledge about autism either admit that I’m right there at the threshold on the DSM measure—but not quite—or, with those I know (in person) who are autists themselves, they ask me why I even bother questioning it. The matter came up with my supervisor not long ago. I said as tactfully as I could that, “there is some possibility I am on the spectrum.” Her reply? “Umm...(& she paused to frame her reply)...we know.” Huh. Who would have guessed?

It has helped me to read as much about it as my time will allow. I hope as you do your own research that it will give you the direction you need in making your mind up for yourself. Also, try to get to know people in person, too. They have a first-hand lived experience that even the highly relational excerpts you’ll see in articles or books can’t fully capture—and they’ll be the best to measure what they see in you against their lived experience.

Good luck to you.

 

[Au Naturel]

I've managed adequately for 63 years and retired from the USAF after over 25 years.

I'm self-diagnosed for autism, ADHD and Alexithymia. My issues are mild but have caused quite the stirs, over the years. The self-enforced isolation bothered me, in the sense I am not like my peers and don't understand them. I have most of the honesty/loyalty/no nonsense attitudes of the community and that caused conflict.

However through necessity I learned to take care of myself and create potent defenses against Allistic attacks.

My main point here is that I experience many of the same difficulties, just not to the same degree as level 1 - 3. Does that mean I am NOT autistic/ADHD?

Autism isn't so easily categorized. It is a spectrum that blends from the totally disabled to people with symptoms so slight you'd never diagnose it. The ASD 1,2,3 categories are just pigeonholes used for convenience and don't have an objective meaning.