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Featured Susceptible, not after you read this.....

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Aspychata, Sep 22, 2019.

  1. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    So l have read a lot of comments from great people here who stated they were taken advantage of. So l am posting 20 ways to resist unwanted social influnces: l will start with 2 today, and hopefully post one everyday.

    1.Remember there is no such thing as instant , unconditional love from strangers; Love, friendship, and trust must be developed over time and usually involves reciprocity, negotiation, and sharing-some work and commitment on your part.

    2.It is not necessary to maintain consistency between your actions at different times: you can change and not be held to the false standard of being "reliable" and maintaining the status quo.
     
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  2. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Knowledge is the most important thing to lessen your vulnerability to mind control or persuasion by one person, a group of people or whatever, (advertising, cults). Please feel free to post your ideas of how you follow and carry out your methods of operandi in regards to above.
     
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  3. Rectify

    Rectify Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Knowledge is important - also experience (related to knowledge) and awareness.
    Great idea @Aspychata I particularly like number one.
     
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  4. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Wise words! Thank you!
     
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  5. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    what do you define as a stranger ?
     
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  6. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    i’d like to know what do you believe in !do you believe for instance that whatever you think is right ?One definition of God is whatever you think the most about!so is your god whatever you think is right ?!I ask ,as you must !to a degree !involve your faith (whatever!!!!!!! you have faith in !)in perceiving what is and what is not being susceptible.
     
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  7. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    You lost me. l am sure there is a very important message here from you, but l got lost trying to figure it out. This post is basically just to help people out, with no reference to faith. If you use faith to guide you, then l say excellent for you. This is more in response to posters feeling somehow that being on the spectrum possibly opened them up to being taken advantage of maybe emotionally, physically, spirtually, financially. Stranger is defined as anyway you wish to define it Streetwise. I was married for 18 years, my ex is and always will be a complete stranger to me. This is food for thought. No right, no wrong here in this post. In fact l asked people for their ideas of how they approach this.
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2019
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  8. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    The sad thing is that with many the truth about the person doesn't come out until later on. People lie, and that blows my mind because I don't understand why. Maybe another one of our susceptabilities is not knowing enough people that can tell us about the person. When I met my ex, I was living in Texas, no family and no friends, just me and my son. There was no one around that knew him or me and people I worked with and anyone that ever met my ex instantly liked him. A friend of my mom's was very upset over all the things that he did and she then she met him and she said she just wanted to take him home with her. Some times there's no playing it safe.
     
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  9. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    New ones today:


    3. Recognize your symptons of guilt and the guilt inductions others use on you; never act from guilty motives. Tolerate guilt as part of your human nature, don't rush to ameliorate it via paths others lay out for you.

    4.Be willing to step back from any interpersonal situation (overcontrolling) other: "l can survive without your love, friendship, liking, abuse, even though it may hurt now to give it up- unless you stop doing X and start doing Y."


    These are pretty powerful for me. How do you feel about these two today? Does anybody think about one of these eveyday on some level.
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2019
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  10. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Pat- my ex is the same. Compulsive liar. My mom will call me and say he is staying with her, snd he fixed her dvd player. I wonder if he broke it because he is that devious. He pickpocketed me one time. Because he is a MD, evetybody thinks he is a saint but men like these leaves us in the abyss of our brain saying why, why, why.
     
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  11. Rectify

    Rectify Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It's true :(

    That's a great one. To a great degree I learned to do that some years back. Where I was able to anyway. Life is a lot slower and easier now.
     
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  12. selectivedetective

    selectivedetective New Member

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    THis is such a useful thread. I don't think we can ever be fully not taken advantage proof, or whatever the phrase would be, but any tips are hugely helpful.

    I agree that knowing someone in a context is also a safe way to build up a friendship or relationship. This is one reason why I am reluctant to use internet dating for now, because it takes a while to meet people who know them, and it's easier for them to manipuluate who you meet.

    I also see what Pats means about having other people of your own around. I dont' have many people, and as I am nervous, I would take a while to introduce them to someone new. But I know this is precisely the scenario that could go very wrong.

    On the internet dating.... after a disastrous experience with an ex who I met this way several years ago, I have tried to concentrate on doing things locally and building up friendships. But they are taking a while and things just haven't moved on with the man I mentioned on here several months ago. That's partly because I stopped doing the activity though, so I haven't seen him over the summer.
     
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  13. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    The locals are just as bad where l live. Lol No jobs and a lot of people choose not to work.
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2019
  14. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I think this is a good idea for a thread, however I also think based on experience that my different brain operates in a way that tends to make it hard to recognise some of the stuff in the moment. I'm pretty hardwired to offer and expect simple directness. I just often think that's what's happening.

    Probably an important process therefore would be to second guess myself. I'm definitely less susceptible than I used to be, partly because I just do less with people. I realise that, from my perspective, many are not sincere or wanting to communicate at depth, that's a turn off to me.
     
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  15. Mars26

    Mars26 20 years old aspie

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    I try to define the type indicators of a newly met person to understand them. Because understanding someone allows you to have a full picture of the situation.
     
  16. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Today's New Food For Thought:


    5.Practice "detached concern" , engage your mind in critical evaluation, disengage your emotions in confrontations with those that are power manipulators.

    6.Practice saying: "l made a mistake." "l'm sorry.""I was wrong.""....and l have learned from that error."
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2019
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  17. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    After my divorce, l had to deal with cult like entities that use and try to manipulate using psychological tactics. So l offer this for other people to be aware of subtle instances of manipulators. Now l just regard the whole experience as the cult of idiots. And l do like to laugh.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2019
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  18. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Anybody have any suggestions, about what has helped you out day to day?
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2019
  19. selectivedetective

    selectivedetective New Member

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    It's hard because I find I am constantly down playing any spontaneity in order to fit in with other people. I don't want to carry on talking after they have given a maybe subtle signal that they are bored, I don't want to laugh too loudly or get too emotional. And that's all safe stuff for new meetings. And yet, part of the beauty of friendships and closer relationships is feeling relaxed enough to show your true colours, and be accepting of the other person. It's not easy to do that as we do genuinely have to be on guard and be guarded about what we share. I actually find all this extremely exhausting.

    I'm not sure I do have any day to day suggestions, but I think one thing I am very aware of is that if I am feeling below par, or possibly a bit desperate, then I am more likely to be manipulated and to perhaps give away too much information too early. So maybe doing a check in before an event or meeting, to see how emotionally strong and on top of things you are feeling, and if you're not doing that well, perhaps try and get yourself in a better place before you engage with others. Or have a bit of a moan to someone trusted first.

    I don't know. I wish I had more answers or positive experiences to share.
     
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  20. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Today

    7.Be mindful of what you are doing in a given situation, not allowing habit and standard operating procedure to make you react mindlessly in what is a subtly different situation.

    8.Practice being a deviant at times; violate your usual role/self-image; learn to accept rejection; play with viewing yourself differently.
     
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