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Surprise! I like you! Telling the girl I like that I like her.

Aspychata said:
Exactly @Gerald Wilgus, there are men that spend their entire life just doing that. So as anybody entering the dating pool, you are figuring out is this person a player? I do encounter a lot of players.
Sometimes the more attractive you are draws out the players.
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While I like "attractive," for me I find acceptance, values, and interests to be the things I desire. I've seen women who are attractive but once you perceive their values, they are ugly clear to the bone.
 
@Gerald Wilgus I didn't pick who l was in this lifetime. It is what it is. Believe l am lucky to have met quality men in my lifetime. I have zero complaints. I don't regret one single moment of my life. The other take away, is l no longer judge other woman. My path in life has been so incredibly difficult, that l have complete empathy for other woman.
 
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Aspychata said:
@Gerald Wilgus I didn't pick who l was in this lifetime. It is what it is. Believe l am lucky to have met quality men in my lifetime. I have zero complaints. I don't regret one single moment of my life. The other take away, is l no longer judge other woman. My path in life has been so incredibly difficult, that l have complete empathy for other woman.
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I observe things, and doing that for the longest time has made me realize that empathy for all women is necessary. How many are worn down by the weasles (parasites in King's book, Dreamcatcher) before they even see a good guy, a high value person who would value their attention? I am happy at the woman who valued me when we were first meeting IRL and I was standing in her doorstep; filthy, mud begrimed, looking like a drowned rat, in my mud smeared Mickey Mouse tank top (I was in strip mines, fossil collecting when the sky opened up). That took some faith and she had my heart. As she welcomed me in and ushered me to the shower, I thought: So svelt! So clean!
 
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I am truly happy for you and her. When you find that acceptance and true love it is quite surprising. I have been unable to convince the aspie guy l am his everything. So it is. I stand defeated. @Gerald Wilgus . Two autistic people together can sometimes be TNT. The great is really great, but the bad is like a train wreck, especially if bad childhoods are involved.
 
Aspychata said:
Sometimes the more attractive you are draws out the players.
Click to expand...
So true.

Although (because of the internet and all of the available free pornography), there’s a disgusting and disturbing new trend of men looking for desperate women who feel so unattractive that they are willing to do obscene things in the bedroom just to feel ‘not alone’ for a minute.

I haven’t done it and I NEVER would, but I know men who do. Trolling online for desperate “ugly” women to basically abuse seems like a sure bus ticket to hell. But the old days of sociopaths limiting their choices to attractive women seems to be disappearing. Every woman needs to be mindful of players who are only going to be looking for sex.

Now that I say it…. I guess that nothing has really changed. It’s just gotten easier for bad people to do bad things.
 
I believe that the only way to actually be ugly is to have an ugly attitude. Everyone has those things that turn us on, or off. But if you’re choosing a mate because of a physical attribute like blond hair or blue eyes….. it’s going to end in disaster. Of course it’s best to find the best fit for yourself who also excites you physically. But if you love food, you’d better be looking for someone who knows how to cook.
 
AspieChris said:
So true.

Although (because of the internet and all of the available free pornography), there’s a disgusting and disturbing new trend of men looking for desperate women who feel so unattractive that they are willing to do obscene things in the bedroom just to feel ‘not alone’ for a minute.

I haven’t done it and I NEVER would, but I know men who do. Trolling online for desperate “ugly” women to basically abuse seems like a sure bus ticket to hell. But the old days of sociopaths limiting their choices to attractive women seems to be disappearing. Every woman needs to be mindful of players who are only going to be looking for sex.

Now that I say it…. I guess that nothing has really changed. It’s just gotten easier for bad people to do bad things.
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Easier to be a victim with the anonymity that the internet provides. But men selling hopeium to lonely women has been happening forever. I have had related to me the meat market experiences of some shy women at clubs, clutching their drinks hoping to be approached and picked up by some guy, ending up in bed and hoping that will turn into a relationship and never hearing from the guy. When I developed a little confidence and swallowed my anxiety I would approach them, talk, and instead of suggesting intimacy, ask them on a date. Some thought it cute, some thought there was something wrong with me, yet I got some interesting dates and gained more experience with women. That is why I have told the good guys to approach and enjoy the shy ones. Even shy NTs, like us spend a lot of time in their heads.
 
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