Supper with an old high school friend

[SonoranPrincess]

As a rule I can pass as a "normie," but last week I had a curious encounter with a high school "friend" I hadn't seen in 35 years. I attended a boarding school during high school, so this woman and I knew each other very well. We lived in rooms next door to each other in the dorm, as a attr of fact. Anyway, she invited me out to dinner. During the meal she asked me so many personal questions I might as well have been interviewing for a high security level government job. I assumed she wanted to rekindle our friendship. But, after the meal I emailed her, and was met with silence. I don't want to believe she went out of her way to see me, only to collect gossip about my life. But, at this point, I don't know what to think. I didn't say anything embarrassing or rude, BTW. Ideas, anyone?

 

[watersprite]

You're brave to do such a socially intense sort of thing. I'm leaning toward the 'collecting gossip about your life' choice.

 

[Suzanne]

Wow that is so brave of you, but like Kestrel, I am asking more questions because it means I can relax and respond to them. I feel so out of control when I am doing all the talking because I hear myself getting animated and dread the look of boredom.

As for this "friend", perhaps she has not seen your email yet? If time has gone by, why not email her and ask her if you have offended her? There are ones who have done this with me, and so, I bounce off them, to know it is acceptable.

 

[Walsie]

Past behavior best predictor of future behavior, only you know that. Did she pry into your life in such a manner in boarding school?

Was the dinner immediately after you 'bumped' into each other, or a later date? How long is it since you emailed her?

It sounds dodgy to me, but I hope I'm wrong.

 

[Progster]

I don't know, it's really hard to say. Did you feel that you had clicked with her? Perhaps she found you had changed and were different to how she remembered you and thought that she hadn't quite clicked. But still, that's no reason not to reply to your email. It also depends on the content of the email - perhaps you suggested a meetup some other time and she has no answer just yet, or you wrote a lot and she is overwhelmed and needs to think about it, or she wants to write a longer reply and has no time right now. Anyway, I would say that a lot of people aren't all very good or prompt about responding to emails, especially when it comes to personal matters. Sometimes I write an important message to client or to a family member, and they don't reply, and I need to prompt them again. Sometimes emails can get lost in spam, or the person receives several emails on the same day and doesn't see the email or get round to replying. So many variables.

 

[garnetflower13]

Past behavior best predictor of future behavior, only you know that. Did she pry into your life in such a manner in boarding school?

Was the dinner immediately after you 'bumped' into each other, or a later date? How long is it since you emailed her?

It sounds dodgy to me, but I hope I'm wrong.

I feel that it was dodgy, too. Maybe she is looking for people to ask favors from?

 

[Tia Maria]

Do you recall what type of person she was in HS? Was she a good person & a good friend? Or was she kind of gossipy back then? An instigator & conflict maker? Was she kind or unkind? Other than any hints based on the kind of person you knew her to be back then, I tend to agree with what Progster wrote above. <3

 

[Judge]

As a rule I can pass as a "normie," but last week I had a curious encounter with a high school "friend" I hadn't seen in 35 years. I attended a boarding school during high school, so this woman and I knew each other very well. We lived in rooms next door to each other in the dorm, as a attr of fact. Anyway, she invited me out to dinner. During the meal she asked me so many personal questions I might as well have been interviewing for a high security level government job. I assumed she wanted to rekindle our friendship. But, after the meal I emailed her, and was met with silence. I don't want to believe she went out of her way to see me, only to collect gossip about my life. But, at this point, I don't know what to think. I didn't say anything embarrassing or rude, BTW. Ideas, anyone?

My main concern? Identity theft.

Especially if you were the one doing all the answering.