• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Sunken cost fallacy.

Metalhead

Video game and movie addict.
V.I.P Member
I am accepting that my lack of willingness to just let go of the resentments that have held me back for so long is a sunken cost fallacy. I spent most of my life with these resentments, after all, and letting go now would mean all that time was a waste. But that time was mostly a waste anyway with all the booze I was consuming.

Damn, I hate how right my therapist is on this one.
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
I feel l am in the same boat. Resentments are strangling me. Life feels difficult. I am trying to navigate, and take control of my life but clear my desktop of feeling hurt. I feel more hurt. :confused:
 

Knower of nothing

Well-Known Member
I'm always very careful about using ideas like "wasted time" though in this case I definitely agree with the therapist. It's a decision of whether you think it's worth it to continue hurting yourself or not and more importantly a confrontation with the fact it's probably not actually leading anywhere.
I'd wonder however, is it up to you when to let go? Only way to find out is trying I suppose.
 

Kalinychta

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I’ve never understood how someone is meant to “let go” of negative emotions. It’s not like you can just open your hand and drop them.
 

Metalhead

Video game and movie addict.
V.I.P Member
I’ve never understood how someone is meant to “let go” of negative emotions. It’s not like you can just open your hand and drop them.
True, but guzzling poison while wanting others to die is no solution, either.
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
And divorcing family and failed relationships is still painful. You still walk thru feelings.
 

Destructobot9

New Member
True, but guzzling poison while wanting others to die is no solution, either.
Definitely not a solution but sometimes you have to do one thing long enough to eventually grow out of it. Sounds like you're getting to the point where those energies are better spent elsewhere, and it makes sense to grieve for the time lost spent indulging in the darkness when the person you are now would rather have spent that time doing other stuff.

I constantly cringe at my old drunk/high self and the stuff I got up to, things I said or did or wished happened. I still have the not so occasional wallow in resentment and hindsight empowerment fantasy where I actually came out on top.

Were all those countless hours and days wasted? Part of me screams YES!!!!!! Smaller part of me knows that I'm not the current better me without all that and that better me needed all that hurt to round out the edges.

Still tho, wish that the polish could have happened without all the cuts...
 

Metalhead

Video game and movie addict.
V.I.P Member
The core of my addictions is that I was using them as a distraction to drown out everything. A shopping addiction to drown out the pain with the rush of new purchases. A drug addiction to drown out the pain with dopamine. An alcohol addiction to drown out the drug addiction.

This is a vicious cycle and I am ready to get off this ride.
 

velociraptor

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I am accepting that my lack of willingness to just let go of the resentments that have held me back for so long is a sunken cost fallacy. I spent most of my life with these resentments, after all, and letting go now would mean all that time was a waste. But that time was mostly a waste anyway with all the booze I was consuming.

Damn, I hate how right my therapist is on this one.
Resentments are emotional baggage. Ever tried to make it through an airport or train terminal with an excess amount of luggage? You don't get far fast and you sure can't do much because your hands are full. So much easier with just a carry on, right? You're nimble, functional, not weighed down and stressed out.

Unpack that baggage, man!
 

Metalhead

Video game and movie addict.
V.I.P Member
Resentments are emotional baggage. Ever tried to make it through an airport or train terminal with an excess amount of luggage? You don't get far fast and you sure can't do much because your hands are full. So much easier with just a carry on, right? You're nimble, functional, not weighed down and stressed out.

Unpack that baggage, man!
I shall unpack it and decorate my walls with it Jackson Pollack style.

I know that’s not what you meant.
 

New Threads

Top Bottom