Stuck between the 2 realms.

[Iamnotarabot]

Hi

So i have a appointement for the 1th of June with a pshychiatrist that will receive all the observations my therapist did in order to do an official diagnosis...

And for now, i am still waiting...

My therapist didnt sent me the results of the IQ test i did 1 month ago, she didnt invite me for another appointement neither...last week she just responded to my messages saying that she will send the results "quicky" ( i am refreshing my email account every 20minutes for 10 days.)


And to add some spicy fun to my situation, i couldnt hold the truth anymore at home, I said everything to my mother by accident, and now i had to talk about it to my father because she told me she couldnt keep it for herself...

My mother thinks its a tragedy and thinks autism means heavely disabled , or worst i could be more than on the spectrum for her, until i didnt get a definitive result she fear I might be diagnosed with something else and put throught an heavy medication...So she also find others explanation for my weirdness and doesnt want to admit that i am different.

My father simply dismiss everything I told him and just think that i am a lazy ass trying to find excuses.


Wonderful.

 

[Tom]

Parents are notorious for being in denial. Checking your email so often is pretty obsessive. Try to learn patience. You can get yourself all worked up, but it helps nothing. Things happen in their own time. Perhaps your parents will come around in time. Don't take their uniformed words to heart.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Parents are notorious for being in denial. ... Perhaps your parents will come around in time. Don't take their uniformed words to heart.

Agreed. For some topics, I've had to learn to listen to my parents' opinions, nod politely, then go and do my own thing.

I hope your parents will realize that you're still the same @Iamnotarabot that they've always known, and that having more information about your condition can only help you be better. But for now, keep doing what you think will best help you.

 

[Iamnotarabot]

Well , this is true that most of their reactions was just refusing to accept what i just said...but at some moment they also both said interesting things, so yeah i think,hope,that they will one day accept it...

But the first thing is that I am not even sure at 100% yet, and this is the biggest problem, being in this situation where time seems frozen until I know...plus the stress of my parents , the fact that i have wasted another year doing nothing etc...

 

[Kirsty]

My father simply dismiss everything I told him and just think that i am a lazy ass trying to find excuses.

Ummm no... Once you have a diagnosis you get the help you need, not want. And your dad sounds ignorant. I’m trying not to judge though. Maybe he said it out of uncertainty on how he can accept this.

 

[AO1501]

As said, parents are notoriously difficult, and it's hard to know which is worse, your father who is so dismissive, or your mother who seems to think that a diagnosis will change who you are.

All a diagnosis will do it attach a label to you that identifies what it is about you that is different, so instead of having to fight so-called 'deficits' you can accept them and be who you are supposed to be. A diagnosis is a liberating thing, not a millstone to carry.

Until you get the results, you cannot make anything happen faster, but you can spend some time here, and maybe at your local library, studying what being on the spectrum means.... and gathering facts to feed your parents with when your diagnosis comes.

 

[Bolletje]

My parents were initially dismissive. Dismissive of me going to a psychiatrist, dismissive of me being assessed for ASD, and dismissive of the diagnosis when I got it.

Initially. It took them quite some time to come around. In their case, the initial response was mostly caused by:

1. Denial. They wanted me to be fine. They wanted me to be just another twenty-something with a bit of an identity crisis. Because that could have resolved itself. Whereas autism, well... we all know the answer to that. Denial is a rather common mechanism of processing grief, and I think this is what they were doing.

2. Guilt. As with most parents, my parents immediately started blaming themselves for me being clinically depressed and on the spectrum. Even though they knew intellectually that they did not cause my autism, they kept ruminating on what they could have done differently raising me.