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Straightedge

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by weth, Jan 12, 2016.

  1. LeroyT1000

    LeroyT1000 Active Member

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    Red
    I feel ya dude lol!! Red Bull is the devil!!
     
  2. unsurewhattoname

    unsurewhattoname Well-Known Member

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    I've never entered a club, nor do I plan on doing so.
     
  3. Beverly

    Beverly Euthanasia Redux V.I.P Member

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    Soon, my manager says not until the night before my Revelations concert, which will be the third of my 2016 tour. I need to get my fan base paying attention again first and, I've got to break the ice in the UK, China and, the USA, so the first USA concert will be Revelations. Also the best time for my very well known UK partner to tandem the gig with me and, he's going to be revealing his Dx then as well.

    I can imagine what could be done if every preforming band out there donated even one show to help ASD and raise awareness for just one year, the results would stagger all of us and, just maybe with enough push and enough letters, emails and phone calls it can happen. I'll be the financial flagship gladly and donate it all to this, all I want from the rest is one show. Maybe this crazy industry we call the music business can unite and make something good happen for ASD this time. We've done it for other causes, just not on quite a full global scale but, ASD is a global issue and that's the only way it's going to work for everyone is if everyone that can helps us.

    Governments won't listen to the disadvantaged very well but they will listen when millions of their citizens, ASD and NT alike are all talking and seeing the problems and, wanting them fixed and music has the power to reach across all ages, races, genders, beliefs, social and economic classes those of us that can just need to use our voice and the power music carries to do it. We all know the power of music, we know what it can do but someone has to poke us in our collective arses and make us do it. Maybe I and my partners in this can be the stick that pokes us all.
     
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  4. LeroyT1000

    LeroyT1000 Active Member

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    Well only when the time is right for you is what's important and I bid you good luck this year as I assume it will be life changing for many :)
     
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  5. EndSerenading

    EndSerenading Well-Known Member

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    Fairly close, I'm from Barrow but I've lived in small towns in Cumbria for a long time and nothing ever happens there. I won't be in Cumbria for much longer though
     
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  6. LeroyT1000

    LeroyT1000 Active Member

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    I went to a beautiful wedding in Cumbria once in Ullswater. Very nice place sad shame about the flooding!
     
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  7. Beverly

    Beverly Euthanasia Redux V.I.P Member

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    LeroyT1000 It already is changing a few lives. I've got a UK partner who is at the top of the charts right now and, a hidden Aspie rearranging his life and entirely reinventing his career, leaving a band and going solo to do this because his old band and studio would not support him.

    He's hired three on the spectrum over there for his primary crew, I've got tow on my primary and one more behind the scenes already. I've contracted with a freelance artist on the spectrum to do all of our graphics for this so, yeah, we are changing lives, our own and a few others. As we get things moving and are able to expand our efforts, more jobs, more contracts, more opportunities directly with us and, hopefully other places as well.

    It's time the world sees we aren't useless, we aren't unskilled, we just might not always communicate so well and, we might need a little help to reach our full potential, a few accommodations, a lot of understanding and, stop with trying to force us to be good talkers - you don't have to be a verbal powerhouse to be the best at what you do and, it's time the world figured that out.

    A few of us have the people to help us be the verbal end of this and, we are on the spectrum, we need to use what we know and the resource we have to speak out for the rest that lack the ability or the means to do so and, we have got to use our ears and listen to all of you out there, not just push what we think is best, we will need feedback form everyone on the spectrum and their friends and loved ones.

    I don't know where and what is lacking where you are but, you do and, you can tell me. I can tell my people and, they can get the ball rolling to make the changes we need. it won't happen overnight but, maybe putting more of us "spectrumites" in this demanding industry in the way of not only performers but artists, writers, technicians, security, even media and marketing will be a small step toward showing the world we are far from useless and can be among the best if we are just given the tools we need and the chance to use those tools.

    Why should there continue to be amazing artists, programmers, designers, writers and more unemployed and struggling just to survive each day simply because we are on the ASD spectrum? It isn't that difficult to give use the few accommodations we need and, even easier to give us a little patience and understanding and, help us find working compromises that will allow us to work and not be constantly overloaded and stressed out.

    I managed to get it, so have others. Yes we had to take the hard route, endure the pressure, the overload, the meltdowns but, there are a few of us that survived it all and made it and, we learned and, have made changes in our immediate crews and careers to accommodate our needs, we work together with what our jobs require and what we are capable of and, sometimes we push a bit, sometimes they give a bit. That shouldn't stay the privilege of a few, it should be the normal way of things in ANY industry or business.

    The biggest one I see is stop judging us on communication first, judge our skill and talent first, then decide if our communication struggles really matter when we can do what we do so well. They don't and, I and a few others are living proof of that, of what can happen when talent and skill come first. I want to see that extended to every industry and business because I know there is a whole world of amazingly talented, highly skilled, often self taught people out there that can't get anywhere in life simply because the are on the ASD spectrum. Cooks, teachers, mechanics, actors, designers, computer programmers, graphics geniuses, you name it, someone on the spectrum is fabulous at it but, nobody knows that because nobody has given you a chance. So few get the chance they need, yet so many could excel if the had the one break they need to get started. I want to be a part of helping make those breaks happen.
     
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  8. weth

    weth Member

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    If I could trade Durham for grassmere in the Lake District I'd be all over that. I did a school camp at a place called howtown in ullswater which was epic - me and the wife are heading that way on Friday weather permitting as I know they have had it pretty bad that way of late
     
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  9. weth

    weth Member

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    Your a legend I think ur motives and your intentions are great
     
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  10. LeroyT1000

    LeroyT1000 Active Member

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    It's all very exciting in many ways! I know Bieber is all over the charts and the person you may be taking about could be someone linked to The Wanted? Sorry I'm just starstruck easily I've met loads of celebrities when I was a bellboy at a hotel. I met Take That, Jamiroquai, Raquel Welsh and a few others!
     
  11. Beverly

    Beverly Euthanasia Redux V.I.P Member

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    Well, Bieber won't be involved unless he chooses to do a donation or volunteer. I won't turn him away but, he's far form being on my list of liked or respected people.

    As for the others, think a bit younger for the most part. I'm the grandma of the herd I've got on board so far, well okay just a few years older than most of their mothers but still. LOL

    And stop with the star struck, behind all that makeup, glitz and one heck of a publicity team, all of us are just people, NT, ASD, anxiety, depression, diabetes, hypertension, cancer, you name it, it plagues us just as much as it does the rest of the world. Despite images to the contrary, we deal with the same crap everyone else does. Being famous doesn't make you life perfect, doesn't even solve your financial problems unless you've got a really good accountant and, enough self control not to go hog wild with it early on or, blow it too fast when you retire.

    We're just people with really good publicists is all. You would not believe the stuff we hide LOL. We're supposed to look like we have perfect, easy lives with the occasional bump here ant there, just to keep us from looking too aloof and above it all, keep us a bit relatable, yeah well, we are a lot more relatable than we appear and, not always in a good way. Mostly our lives have more bumps, drama and problems than the less well known average people.

    A lot of that is because we can't make our problems known, we can't seek help outside our inner circles, we can't take a week off just because we need to, we can't let emotional problems or mental health issues show, we can't flip out and have a panic attack when we get swarmed by fans. You think we don't go through all of that internally? We do and, I'm sure you can imagine how difficult it is to smile, chit chat, pose for selfies and, sign autographs on everything from paper to intimate body parts when your in the middle of a panic attack. :confused:

    Yeah that happens and we do it. We also get on that stage or set and do our job even in the face of battling cancer, having to run off to throw up every ten minutes, with a fever of 104, drugged up to cover the symptoms of a cold, hopped up on pain pills because doing what we do hurts when we have an injury or arthritis or something.

    You can be sick and not hide it, imagine having to do ten hours of the most strenuous work you can imagine when you are so sick you can barely get yourself to the bathroom - we do it and, have to look perfect while we do it.

    Yes there are a lot of good things about it all and we do get to take amazing holidays, meet fascinating people, be at the hottest places, wear the latest designer fashions, get a nip and a tuck here and there whenever we need it, etc... but, we pay for it with more than just money, we pay with out minds and bodies, pushing both well beyond our limits and, when you do that, it doesn't matter who you are, it does at least some small amount of irreparable damage.

    My hearing and joints are paying now and, mentally the wind down takes longer and longer every time I do it, every tour is more exhausting and draining than the last one, I gain new permanent aches and pains, I add a few more internal meltdowns that I had to cover and, one or two destroyed hotel rooms or bus interiors to my memory bank. That's the price I'm willing to pay to do what I do and have what I have and, the number one reason for it is that this world has no idea how to accommodate ASD nor any real understanding of what living with ASD is like. It will change, if it kills me in the attempt to make that change begin to happen, so be it. I chose to pay the price long ago, and if paying a bit more for a few more years helps, then I've done the best I can with what I have been given in this world.

    I love being on stage, love that energy and, I live for it but, five minutes before I go on, I'm ready to rip the whole set apart and trash the dressing rooms. My brain has yet to stop screaming in terror at the thought of having a hundred thousand people or more, if it's broadcast watching and listening to me. I've just learned how to override that voice in my head and get out there and rock, doesn't stop the internal stuff going on but, I know once I hit that first note and, the crowd screams, then goes silent for a moment, then ramps it up and shakes the stadium, it's all okay, I'm back in my element, then that rush like none other hits and, there's that energy backand forth between me and the audience that you have to experience to understand and, I'd pay the pirce a thousand times over for that.

    I plan to video a lot of the behind the scenes stuff and, not hide what I'm going though internally, it's time the world get a closer look at what ASD does to us when we are under pressure and, what we have to do to cope and, put on the maskes we wear. Sure it's more or less than I do depending on the individual and the situation but, because of the lack of understanding, awareness and accomodations, we all have to do it sometimes to one degree or another. Telling the world doesn't seem to be working, maybe showing them will.

    I'm not going to be the only one, my partner who has come very close to a few on stage meltdowns will be taking the cameras off stage with himself too and, going over some videos that are out there of him performing in a shutdown and, an audition meltdown that his agent at the time recorded. All in an effort to help show people what we go through and, how to recognize when we need space or help but can't ask for it because our brain won't allow us to reach out or tell them to get away from us or, we have to keep going because our livelihood, place in out home, grade in class, whatever depends on us not completely shutting down and not loosing it in a meltdown.

    It's pretty amazing to watch that shutdown performance, everyone remarked that something was wrong when it was live but, no one knew what was wrong, just that their idol wasn't himself up there that night. Pretty rough end of a tour for him, he'd lost a lot of weight, began letting his appearance go a bit more than he should have and, such leading up to that night. major meltdown as soon as he got off the stage, in a private jet that was flying him to a video shoot in the next state. No sleep for three days, because of that and, still he had to do the video. People questiond if it was drugs, a mental breakdown, had somone in his family died again (that happened the previous year and he lost it a bit on stage then.) Was management being too ahrd on him, were he and his fiancé breaking up? they dug hard for reasons but, no one ever knew the truth, ASD won that weekend but he had to do his job anyway. I've been working with him on the commentary for tat video and, it's an eye opener, even for me to hear what he was going through internally as he was performing and shooting the video doing exit interviews, cuddling up with fans for pictures, doing what he does with his brain rebelling in a major way over it all.
     
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  12. LeroyT1000

    LeroyT1000 Active Member

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    Wow sounds extremely intense! I can imagine in some ways as I've experienced this on a smaller scale. I was a personal trainer and coach for 6 years and took 8 classes a week. The classes had 30 or so people in them and sometimes I did 3 back to back 60 minute classes and I was the entertainment. The class followed my lead and I was the motivator and the anxiety before was always the same and afterwards I couldn't sleep well and having to put on a positive mask when I'm in pain from doing a marathon a few days before and if I'm feeling ill etc. If I was allowed to smash up the gym I would but I took it out with the weights instead sometimes training till near midnight and throwing weights about lol!!!
     
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  13. hoeffelt

    hoeffelt Well-Known Member

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    I think a lot of aspies including myself have an innocents to them, including myself. But also many get to a point where they will say forget it and become super wild living. Tony attwood talked about his son at the end of a video on Youtube the video title is something like "could it be aspergers" apparently his son got drawn into the wrong crowd because they were the only ones that accepted him so he started doing drugs. Aspies don't fit in with the average people so many of them will try to find a group that will accept them, these groups could be the gothic community, the aspie culture, drugies, gangs, and the lgbt community. Aspies also may try to say drugs make their symptoms less so they self medicate with weed or alcohol.
     
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  14. Jonathan Lees

    Jonathan Lees Well-Known Member

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    i think it really depends on the person all aspies are unique and different just like all NT are unique and different (i think this is something that there needs to be more awareness on as some seem to think all aspies are like rainman)
    i know of aspies (fellow students some of which are aspies)who have always partied and drank and used drugs for a whole plethora of reasons some of which might be related to fitting in or getting by day by day or losing inhibitions to be more social and normal.
    on the other hand i also know of aspies who are straightedge (my dad for example) as you call it and avoid very much all drugs and alcohol.
    and i also know other aspies somewhere in the middle on a sliding scale and imagine this is where most of us fall.

    personally i have gone out drinking before mainly to experience it and found it doesn't do much for me, i don't enjoy bars and clubs etc. due to lots of unknown people and loud music, im also a heavyweight so to get drunk have to drink so much that its not really worth it.
    that being said i do go to the pub a lot but British pubs i find are very aspie friendly (quiet, comfortable, family friendly, nicely lit) and will drink a little but only enough to get a little tipsy, at which point you can enjoy the social lubricating benefits of drinking without the negatives associated with drunkenness, not having excess is the key.

    in terms of drugs i have never really tried any recreationally, i have many friends who do i just have never tried, im not against trying it however i would just have to feel comfortable enough to do it (i.e safe) and i have never really seen the need in my life or had the desire to try any.
     
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  15. Nacho

    Nacho Well-Known Member

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    I have the same feeling, the first times marijuana make me very relaxed and made me feel like I could do anything. But since I had my first 'bad trip', in which I vomited due to nervousism, I never liked it anymore; any time I smokedmarijuana after, it made me anxious just thinking about the fact that I wasn't 100% in control of my body, and therefore, made me feel like I was on the verge of vomiting again...
    What do you think?
     
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  16. On the Inside

    On the Inside Well-Known Member

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    Once I had a "bad trip" I was always very nervous while imbibing, thinking that I was going to lose it in some way. Sometimes, but not always, I could not get over how loud my heartbeat seemed, which could start me down the anxiety/panic route. What eventually caused me to quit was when I had a seizure at a friends house after eating pot cookies. I had a mild seizure disorder when young, but hadn't had one in over 15 years. I was also suffering from a herniated disc at the time and in a lot of pain. I went through a barrage of familiar tests, but there wasn't anything conclusive except for a partially deformed Hippo-campus, found with an MRI. This can be associated with simple partial seizures, but I had always suffered gran mal seizures. (I have been doing some research into simple partial seizures, and feel that I might experience them from time to time, judging by their description).

    It is weird that medical marijuana is often used for people with seizure disorders, but I've also read about the different strains of marijuana, and how they are used therapeutically, and maybe it has something to do with the strain used at the time. Early on, I was supplied by a friend's dad(!) who was a physician(!!!!) that stuff was always a pleasure. Later on the supply was more hit or miss, I didn't know the people well, and sometimes it was pleasurable and sometimes it was anxiety inducing.


    While I kept using pot for a little while after that, I had to stop, it wasn't worth it. Eventually I started to feel that reality was often weird enough for me, I don't need anything else to make it more so. Like your displeasure of not being in control of your body.
     
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  17. ancusmitis

    ancusmitis Well-Known Member

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    "Never drink again" Yes, that is exactly how I feel. One of the things that annoys me about AA/NA is that, ironically, I could never get any support on that score! They always had to contradict me. They have this thing about taking it "one day at a time." It's called something like "looking for today" (incidentally, whenever we would talk about it I would always start humming/singing the Black Sabbath song) and I get that it's important for people, but I was always able to go "one day" without drinking. But then there I'd be in the beer aisle again, and I would drink way too much, and I was still wasting my money and going to jail. So "one day at a time" doesn't work for me. But these so-called support groups won't take it seriously, and they're also steeped very heavily in religion even if they claim that they aren't, so I've been going it alone for more than three years.
     
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  18. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I like to have a drink with my meal, and I once tried magic mushrooms when I was a student, and that's about it. I dislike cigarette smoke intensely and don't get why people start smoking - I really don't see what the attraction is.
     
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  19. Tankgirlboy77

    Tankgirlboy77 Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I definitely relate. I used to drink a lot to self medicate depression. Of course it didn't work but made me dependent on alcohol just to feel okay.

    It took me a while to give up, but since then I'm completely straightedge.

    Perhaps clean living is likely to appeal to aspies due to the strict rule based way of living. In general I always felt like I needed some sort of moral code or philosophy to hang my life around, because then I know what to do in most situations and I feel I have control to direct my life accordingly. Drink and drugs is conducive to a loss of control over your life overall. That is no longer attractive to me.
     
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  20. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    I've never smoked because the smell is disgusting, I don't even want to stand near someone who has been smoking let alone actually do it myself. I've always thought it was a vile habit, and kind of stupid... why would you choose to do something that causes cancer? Makes no sense to me.

    I've never done drugs because... well I've just never wanted to. I have no curiosity to find out what it feels like, and no one I knew as a teenager did drugs aside for my sister so there was no peer pressure to try it during my more impressionable years.

    I don't drink because I don't see the point. I have yet to find an alcoholic drink that I like the taste of (I'm always happy to try), so the only reason I would drink would be for the express purpose of getting drunk... for which I have no reason. I used to drink for that purpose in my first year of uni when I discovered that I love going dancing in clubs and thought from others examples that drinking is a necessary part of that. I later discovered that I have just as much fun dancing sober. Haven't drunk since. It's nothing to do with particularly needing to be in control or anything, I just won't drink something I hate the taste of if it doesn't improve my enjoyment in any way (which it doesn't).

    Maybe if I wasn't an aspie I'd be more worried about fitting in and so would drink anyway. People certainly find it weird that I don't drink and like interrogating me about it (apparently '' it tastes nasty'' isn't a good enough excuse :expressionless:) and some people are infuriatingly persistent in trying to get to have ''just one drink'' *sigh*
     
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