Still STUCK

[Iamnotarabot]

I had 2 sessions with the therapist, she says that I might have asperger but everything i say to her is not only related to asperger and she thinks im also depressed...

She told me to contact the psychiatrist that she works with, she will send him her conclusions , in order to have something official...

3 months to wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't stay in that situation for so long, she also asked me to complete other test that are basically other test like you do on internet, but its so precise and outdated and the questions are weird i cant find what they mean...

The only progress i have made since the beginning of this is that now i know that the chest pain i have since i am 17 is actually not something physical but caused by my anxiety ( not sure but its psychological..)
It stopped for 1 week but when ever i try to think about my life all the thing i have to do it just comes back..also when i came back from the last session in the public transports it was so crowded that my chest was painfull again...

I hate my situation, i just cant do anything else than waiting , i dont know if i even belon here since im not sure about my condition...i fear that i will have a negative answer and so i wont be able to understand all the mess in my head, I tought i was better atm but even know any thing can make me thing about all my negative thoughts and feeling again...

I need help i dont know where to get help and i just think my own therapist doesnt care...

My face say nothing about what i feel, If i could press a button to end my life i would do it..
I just spend my days sleeping 10-12hours then doing nothing

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this terrible situation. Since you just expressed a suicidal ideation, the first thing you should do is write down the following number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and call it if you have another thought like that: 1-800-273-8255.

Do you have a local support group — family, friends, clergy — that you can let know about your situation? Maybe talking to, or getting a hug from, one of them will help you in the short term while you find a mental health professional that you feel more comfortable with. If not, what can we on this forum do to help?

 

[Streetwise]

here is the number for a suicide hotline in France 0145394000.
if you want to talk to somebody by email here is the address jo@ samaritans.org it's run by volunteers so they may be there that second or in a little while ,They don't judge you ,they just let you talk ,they don't give advice.
in the UK the official waiting time for diagnosis of autism is supposed to be three months, it is actually between six months and two years .
sorry I can't do much more for you my anxiety is severe so I begin to hyperventilate and then I can't think about anything emotionally .

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Yeah been there. I went from waiting for appointment to appointment for about a year or two. I've seen six psychiatrists in three years because they kept buggering off. After three years I have finally got a formulation going on from a psychologist. I've gone from 6 diagnoses down to 2 now. At this stage, I don't really care any more.

My advice is to be strict with yourself and do and think about something else. It'll take a while because that's the speed of the referral process and even then you might not get the answer you're looking for.

For me I've been waiting 4 out of 6 months now to see a neurologist so I can get referred to a tic clinic in London. I still need a formal, proper diagnosis of a tic disorder or Tourette's too.

This is just the reality of the situation.

 

[Iamnotarabot]

Thanks for the quick replies!
Well i badly typed my message, i am not this close to suicide, i mean i have a lots of suicide thinking , violent ideas etc but i have done nothing yet. I dont want to make you panic! I have suicidal thoughts since a long time ago. Maybe one day i was close to because i stayed on the edge of a building for a long time staring the ground. But i was 14 and didnt do something like that again(i am 26).

I cant call at home im still in my parents 'appartement.

Thanks a lot, i have one friend i could talk to, but i dont want to be heavy and im not even sure if i have any problem at all...i mean not officially.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Suicidal thinking, eh? Well, join the club. We have beanbags in the corner you can unleash your rage on, a sound-proof booth with one window so people can see you silently scream and a cocktail bar with your pick of poison. Someone will come in every 15 minutes to check if you're still alive. Breakfast is served 7 til 9 with a choice of fresh juices, toast, crumpets and English muffins. If you do decide to leave we hope you leave a positive note and one you'll never have to come back see us.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

i am not this close to suicide, i mean i have a lots of suicide thinking , violent ideas etc but i have done nothing yet. I dont want to make you panic!

Good to hear. You might consider practicing these 101 daily affirmations. Say them out loud every day. Go into your closet or speak into your pillow if you need to so your parents won't think something strange is going on. The idea is to crowd those suicidal thoughts out of your mind by replacing them with good ones that can help you begin living live more fully. You deserve to live such a life.

 

[Gritches]

Congratulations on getting your referral. A 3 month wait isn't too bad actually. What it means is that you're pretty much almost there. Word to the wise though, bring a parent to the meeting with the specialist in 3 months. It will help if they're able to answer the "when he was a kid" questions, because how you mask autism today matters less and actually just complicates proper diagnosis.

I know 3 months seems like a long time. And it is. But once you have that diagnosis, you can better advocate for yourself and get treatments that are a better fit for you. One hell of a lot of healing started happening when I got my diagnosis, and it hasn't stopped. So, chin up. That's easy for me to say, but if there's one thing Aspies can do it's suffer well.

And you're accepted and welcome here no matter what, so let that worry off your chest. If anyone disagrees with me on that, we can have words.

 

[Iamnotarabot]

All your replies are so nice, it s realy helpfull!

Apparenty 3 months isnt too long compared to other situations ><.

I wanted to have a proper diagnosis before going on with my life but i guess i have to do without it for now.

 

[Streetwise]

Thanks for the quick replies!
Well i badly typed my message, i am not this close to suicide, i mean i have a lots of suicide thinking , violent ideas etc but i have done nothing yet. I dont want to make you panic! I have suicidal thoughts since a long time ago. Maybe one day i was close to because i stayed on the edge of a building for a long time staring the ground. But i was 14 and didnt do something like that again(i am 26).

I cant call at home im still in my parents 'appartement.

Thanks a lot, i have one friend i could talk to, but i dont want to be heavy and im not even sure if i have any problem at all...i mean not officially.

The idea with the Samaritans is to stop the suicide before it starts you are still experiencing suicidal ideation,are you eating a varied diet , drinking enough water ? write down what you are feeling it gives you a sense of relief !

 

[WereBear]

It helped my anxiety to know why I was feeling it; once I realized I was on the spectrum, it got less. Once I ate right and took certain supplements, it got less. There are things you can do about it because it might be a warning to "do things" that you now know you need to address.

NTs manage crowds and noise and such a lot better than me. Now I know.