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Still single

I never had a girlfriend in my life. I just have my first real female platonic friend ever in my life. It's all new too me.
 
Markness said:
I will be 36 this year. Will I ever have a girlfriend in my life? :(
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Provided you continue spending so much energy on inaction (in your case that is not contradictory) and in defending your ego so you're personally comfortable with your inaction - no.

You work very hard to avoid the necessary human interactions and self-improvement.
And you'll continue to be "successful in failure" until you stop your "self-sabotaging" and change the vague fantasy you currently have into an objective that you're working towards.
 
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Steelbookcollector217 said:
unfortuneately i think i know what you mean, and i know i have reiterated this many times, its just another depressing and irritating reminder of what feels like a cruel injustice.
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I am too tired to get into an heated argument or link articles but I use to think like you but you are so wrong. There are many single women out there,. Many find it difficult to find a man no matter how attractive they are or successful. It's not a man thing. I could not believe how many single women I actually meet both online and in person the past few months. What a shock from my stupid tunnel vision 99% women are taken mentality thinking from December.
 
I don’t doubt that there are single women. I actually know some who are. No, they don’t want to get into a relationship with me and that’s for their own reasons. One of them has parents who not only won’t let her date but not even let her be friends with men.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
I am too tired to get into an heated argument or link articles but I use to think like you but you are so wrong. There are many single women out there,. Many find it difficult to find a man no matter how attractive they are or successful. It's not a man thing. I could not believe how many single women I actually meet both online and in person the past few months. What a shock from my stupid tunnel vision 99% women are taken mentality thinking from December.
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yeah its that it seems the vast majority of people who reach 30s and 40s or older and have never dated, never had a relationship before, are mostly male dominated cases, however, from going on TikTok lately, im open but not completely, to dispelling that myth, because i've seen comments of women disclosing a situation like that
 
Markness said:
I actually know some who are. No, they don’t want to get into a relationship with me and that’s for their own reasons. One of them has parents who not only won’t let her date but not even let her be friends with men.
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Just how old is this girl?
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
yeah its that it seems the vast majority of people who reach 30s and 40s or older and have never dated, never had a relationship before, are mostly male dominated cases, however, from going on TikTok lately, im open but not completely, to dispelling that myth, because i've seen comments of women disclosing a situation like that
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Your right. I watch a lot of women Tiktok live streams and the majority of them are single. They even say that they want a boyfriend/husband but can't find one or some of them have been divorced and can't find anyone right either.
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
yeah its that it seems the vast majority of people who reach 30s and 40s or older and have never dated, never had a relationship before, are mostly male dominated cases, however, from going on TikTok lately, im open but not completely, to dispelling that myth, because i've seen comments of women disclosing a situation like that
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Tony Ramirez said:
Your right. I watch a lot of women Tiktok live streams and the majority of them are single. They even say that they want a boyfriend/husband but can't find one or some of them have been divorced and can't find anyone right either.
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I've trained myself to see anything posted like that on socail media, of that ilk, to be purely for attention. I don't doubt a small percent maybe legit.

However, I have seen things where women, at older ages, that tended to dismiss alot of 'not priority guys' in thier youth, now are asking where are all the "good men" at.

Those 'good men', as they put it, are either with women that didn't immediately judge them because of some assine, unrealistic, dating requirements, or they are living on thier own with a soild work life and family/friends, or they are too disillusioned to really connect with the world often. (In other words, too depressed to really try)
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
unfortuneately i think i know what you mean, and i know i have reiterated this many times, its just another depressing and irritating reminder of what feels like a cruel injustice.
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The judgements, the games, the nonsense are pretty old.

It’s time to be the bigger person, and if women (or men, for that matter) are turned off by someone being on the spectrum, then they’re not worthy of us being in a relationship with.

If they’re one of those people who won’t date someone who’s on the spectrum, that’s their prerogative, but we’re not missing out on them, they’re missing out on us.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
Your right. I watch a lot of women Tiktok live streams and the majority of them are single. They even say that they want a boyfriend/husband but can't find one or some of them have been divorced and can't find anyone right either.
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are you saying you have become aware of women who have gone far into adulthood and have never dated, never had a boyfriend either?
 
Tony Ramirez said:
I never meet any who never dated. I seem to be alone to that even to other single guys. I just noticed more single women. Not many, but more.
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i was on a tiktok video, watching one, saw some comments from some people, a woman who claimed she is 42 and never had a boyfriend, and another woman, she says one of her close friends, a woman, never had a boyfriend until 38. So yes i can believe its possible for women to remain chronically alone, single later than normal, its just that something me and many people would never expect.
 
Profiling other people who are single isn't going to be useful in this case.
And these are strange days - it's probably not useful in any case.

@Markness is currently where he has chosen to be in terms of dating.

Changing that won't make it easy. But it will stop it being impossible, which has to be an improvement.

After that, I think the best example and inspiration is Tony. Not because (as I understand it anyway) he has a GF yet, but because he definitely got rid if his "Female Repulsion Field". This is an essential pre-req.

While the "repulsion field" is up, the odds of casual contact with a good person are close to zero.
 
Hypnalis said:
@Markness is currently where he has chosen to be in terms of dating.
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No, I haven’t. I’ve made attempts to break out of my rut but they haven’t been successful. I didn’t choose for them to be unsuccessful. I also don’t think you want me to get better at all.
 
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Cryptid said:
Just how old is this girl?
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She’s 36/37 and on the spectrum as well. Her parents are hyper-religious and extremely overprotective. She still lives with them. Even my friend who is religious himself is disgusted by how they treat her.
 
@Markness

I'm not saying you do nothing. You have your music interest for example.
But I only remember one occasion when you seemed to be doing something practical (someone you met at a concert, perhaps last year?).

Think about how the "grocery store goth" scenario you described sounded to us.

By this I don't mean it was an error not to make contact the first time.
But if I remember correctly you just let it go.

You could at least have gone back, but prepared this time, with the goal of a perhaps being recognized as a fellow goth next time (so a second and third visit would be needed).

At worst you'd get some practice in, so it's a small plus relative to doing nothing :)
 
Markness said:
No, I haven’t. I’ve made attempts to break out of my rut but they haven’t been successful. I didn’t choose for them to be unsuccessful. I also don’t think you want me to get better at all.
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Your lack of persistence is outstanding.

You give up after *an attempt* when or if it doesn't
seem perfect.
 
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