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Spectrum and pornography

Discussion in 'Obsessions and Interests' started by Lena_131309, Feb 19, 2020.

  1. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

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    I think there are certain people who like porn regardless of their condition. I think watching too much of it would be a concern so it might be a good idea to ask him about it.
     
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  2. Schism

    Schism Well-Known Member

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    What the Hell? This Forum is for Everyone.
    I am perfectly happy to talk about anything & everything to anyone & anything. It's my choice to post, read and/or respond.
    If you don't like it, don't go there. Don't judge!

    I have no interest in the Original post or topic btw. Just this response riles me.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2020
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  3. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    Should we ban them from the internet too? Porn is just a click away for free... Just the mention of pornography is a reason teens shouldn't be allowed here? Give me a break...

    To the original poster: I know plenty of NT's that are addicted to porn, so I do not believe that it's a spectrum limited thing. Sure we can get hyper-focused on things, but that doesn't mean that he's focusing on pornography because he's autistic. I myself watch it, but not everywhere, all the time. Only when I'm alone and need a release so to speak.
     
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  4. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

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    Ha, you are absolutely right.
     
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  5. Bellacat

    Bellacat Active Member

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    If it were me I'd be straightforward and ask him about it. Try to open a non-judgemental, purely inquisitive conversation and see how he responds.

    If you keep things like this in your head or speculate about them with other people and don't actually open a discussion with him about it, they will fester and cause problems in one way or another. It will affect the way you think and feel about him, which will influence your behaviour, and that will impact your relationship whether you're conscious of it or not. Get things out in the open and clear them up as soon as possible. It's just part of the natural process to find out if you're a good match. If the conversation goes really poorly then it's probably a sign you're not super great together. If you're looking for a serious relationship, it's important to be able to communicate with your partner about anything, especially the "awkward" stuff.
     
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  6. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Good points.
     
  7. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member

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    There's a book called Your Brain On Porn thats worth a read. Goes into the psychological and physiological changes that occur with frequent porn use. As with any addiction, your neurons begin to hard wire in the reward centre of your brain and you start craving and needing more and more. Soon enough a vicious circle is created. Especially with high speed Internet, the human brain isn't equipped to deal with seeing that many prospective "mates" or sexual partners that you see when you scroll through websites with thousands of sex scenes. It's an overload and can easily become an addiction with some very real consequences including increased anxiety, depression amongst others.

    Well worth a read.

    Ed
     
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  8. jared mills

    jared mills Rookie

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    i watch very little of it,but i use it for stimming.
     
  9. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    I think people who have porn in the background are using it as a kind of elevator music. It keeps them slightly stimulated, just enough to produce some endorphins. And what is wrong with that?

    Whether or not porn or sexuality or just simple nudity is good or evil or disgusting or happy are all things you learn. You often learn them very early in life. Some aspies simply don't absorb any message about it despite presumably powerful influences to the contrary. (I know I didn't.) They see other people reacting but they don't have a reaction themselves and don't internalize the reactions around them. Other aspies get traumatized by their experiences and incorporate it as a kind of PTSD.

    I grew up in an extremely puritanical environment. Yet I have loved to wander about naked since my earliest memories in kindergarten. Probably Asperger related. Until I moved to California as an adult, I just stayed in the closet about it. Not "pornographic" in any way but the same principle applies.

    Some people are aromantic and unsexual in general and have zero interest in such things. Others take a specific political perspective relating to the oppression of sex workers or specifically the objectification/victimization of female sex workers. Or mount a religious objection. That is just as true of those on the spectrum as those not on it.

    Just because one is on the spectrum does not mean all traits should be interpreted as spectrum-related.
     
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  10. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    I would not put any faith in that book. Porn does not stimulate any of the primary systems for sexual arousal. There is no touch, no taste, no smell, and no pheromones. The visual is a poor imitation of the real thing. The audio is both hilarious and atrocious. Most importantly, there is no interaction, no repeated cycles of action and response. It is just another genre of film, like action/adventure or rom-com but requiring no thought or empathy. My own anecdotal experience indicates that people who watch a lot of porn eventually get bored with it.

    There are a small percentage of people who are obsessed with porn, just as there is a small percentage of people obsessed with gambling or smoking pot. (Not addicted. That would be a misuse of the word, even if the apparent effect is similar.) I'm inclined to think there is both a genetic and a psychological component to being vulnerable to pathological levels of obsession. Most people encounter the same stimuli repeatedly and walk away unscathed.
     
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  11. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    Do you imagine that teens don't watch porn, don't masturbate, don't fantasize about sex?. People, especially boys, on the spectrum masturbate far more often than boys not on the spectrum.
     
  12. Joel's Hear

    Joel's Hear Really high protector of Scotland

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    I stumbled across a cache of old Playboys in my Grandma's attic when I was 14. I learned the necessary anatomy and have not looked at porn since. I was always really thrown off by videos to the point of repulsion. Just couldn't even go there.

    The reason my wife broke up with the last boyfriend she had before me was she stumbled across a gross cache of pictures on his computer, of girls he actually knew, in lots of weird graphic positions. Homemade porn. She said it seems like sometimes people want a creepy story in their head rather than something real out in front of them. He got the ax that day.

    And to me, there is only one thing that really gets me going: scent. Pheromones. Sweat. Ain't never seen a scratch and sniff porno. Also, someone with a genuinely friendly voice. No fakeness. A fire in the eyes.

    To conclude, I'm autistic and don't ever watch porn (I don't care at all what anyone else does in their spare time, though--I'm not saying because of that I'm perfect--it's just not where I'm at).
     
  13. Mindf'Elle'ness

    Mindf'Elle'ness Peace and passion for ALL

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    My experience...I met a guy recently on a dating site who said he was a diagnosed aspie (as opposed to self-diagnosed). He seemed friendly, interesting and we were messaging back and forth for a week or two when the subject of kink sites came up. To make a long story short, turns out he masturbates EVERY day, gets stoned and watches porn. He used to work but he doesn't any more..unless you count being an artist as work. I noticed as time went on that he wouldn't even ask me out for a coffee...just wanted to talk porn and message forever. I realized that he thought about sex all day long. It was gross. If aspies can get fixated, I would say he was and his was a very destructive fixation. I don't know enough aspie guys to know if fixation is common and then if porn is a common thread amongst the fixators. (Does this make sense).
    I wouldn't give in to ummm...help him out and he certainly couldn't get over himself enough to actually date a decent human being so we lost touch.
    I would say, tell him that he can do whatever floats his boat when he's alone, but you are uncomfortable seeing those images knowing how preoccupied (and weird) it is for him to display it so openly. It would be insensitive and disrespectful of him to expect you to lump it.
    Don't give in just to keep him happy, because it will leave you with a silent resentment that will come out at some point over something probably unrelated and you'll wonder 'hey, why did I get so mad about (fill in the blank)'
     
  14. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    It is funny about the masturbation thing. I have a study in my files somewhere about this very issue. People diagnosed with Asperger's masturbate far more often than those who aren't. Guys especially. A fair number report multiple times daily. These patents were a spectrum of Aspergers so if you just looked at the younger guys with higher testosterone levels, you'd probably see even more of a trend.

    When I was a kid, well, daily and multiple times daily sounds about right. (Hope that wasn't TMI!) And by itself it is perfectly fine. I think sex was ever-present in my mind but hormones and a lack of any other outlet also had a lot to do with it. I never got into porn. It was boring. Online sex talk is boring too. But "sexting" and "chatturbation" have an appeal to some people and I can easily see a lonely guy getting obsessed with it.

    I can think of a lot of reasons why that would be so. That same study indicates that diagnosed folks on the upper spectrun tend to have almost no sex life. (Intercourse in the "never" or "once a year" categories.) Yet we live in a sex-drenched world. Hormones build up and guys get desperate. Along with all the other social deficits, the "How to meet and convince a girl to have sex." lesson is missing. Another missing lesson is, "How to have a relationship with a girl without bringing up sex in every communication despite your raging obsession."

    Aspies don't have the normal number of physical and social outlets most neurotypical people do. They also may not absorb the "masturbation is nasty" message that is subtle but pervasive. Aspies do get obsessed about things and sex is a real easy one to get obsessed about. We also often have poor filters and can get a little crazy on a topic we are obsessed with.

    So, yeah, it is common in the male Aspie population.