1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Spectrum and pornography

Discussion in 'Obsessions and Interests' started by Lena_131309, Feb 19, 2020.

  1. Lena_131309

    Lena_131309 Active Member

    Messages:
    76
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2020
    Karma:
    +75
    Dear All,

    I am new to the forum and this is my second thread. To make it short (I have problem with that ;), I will try to not go into too much details. I am seeing a guy (since few weeks), with self-diagnosed ASD and I am trying to understand the reasons of some of his behaviour.

    Just to make it clear, I know guys watch porn (not only guys to be fair) and some of them watch a lot. No issue with that. My question is - he is very open about watching it as well, and watching a lot.

    What is different, he is doing it during random tasks, like e.g. cooking (not videos then, but just photos). My understanding of watching porn is that you do that when you are relaxed and put your full attention to it. It seems like pornography plays significant role in his daily routine and the reasoning for it is more complex that I would normally associate with it.

    Am I overthinking it or is there a special connection between him having spectrum and being so much "connected" to the pornography. Is it the same connection as with video games?

    Please share your opinion and thank you very much in advance for it.
     
  2. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    33,896
    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2013
    Karma:
    +24,469
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Lena_131309

    Lena_131309 Active Member

    Messages:
    76
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2020
    Karma:
    +75
    Thank you very much, I have read all the posts and unfortunately have not found too many answers...Or I found contradicting ones. From what I've read, most people there actually find it as something very negative (or even discussing), and the ones that actually confirmed doing that, to some extend divided the reasoning into 3 different categorises:

    (1) Watching porn gives them the possibility to "experience" something they have no possibility to experience in real life
    (2) Watching porn gives them actual pleasure and it is easier to manage because it does not require real social interaction (however, this concept was somehow declined by few people there)
    (3) Watching porn gives them (usually incorrect) guidelines how they "should' behave in case they are going to experience the real life situation (with most of the commenting giving the credit to the amateur videos)

    I do not see how the above categories could be applied in the situation I described above, but maybe there is different reasoning behind (or combination of the above)...I do not know. Anyway, thank you for the link.
     
  4. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    33,896
    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2013
    Karma:
    +24,469
    If you knew him well enough, you could ask him.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  5. Yeshuasdaughter

    Yeshuasdaughter Well-Known Member V.I.P Member It's My Birthday!

    Messages:
    3,040
    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2019
    Karma:
    +975
    This is EXACTLY why teens shouldn't be on the forum!
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
  6. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    33,896
    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2013
    Karma:
    +24,469

    What is?

    How does that conclusion follow?
    What do you base this supposition upon?
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
  7. Lena_131309

    Lena_131309 Active Member

    Messages:
    76
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2020
    Karma:
    +75
    Not really well, so I guess I will have to wait with the question. Thank you for your answer.
     
  8. Lena_131309

    Lena_131309 Active Member

    Messages:
    76
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2020
    Karma:
    +75
    I didn't rely get how your comment can refer to my question, but that's fine.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  9. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,527
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2015
    Karma:
    +12,772
    I didn't read your other post, but just based on this one I would say the best thing to do is

    f1d0de131fc88ddbae64fe5dd74abc9f.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Like Like x 3
  10. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,511
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2014
    Karma:
    +3,074
    Could he have some sort of porn addiction? Or it could just be a lack of understanding of social norms, I suppose some people would be quite happy to look at porn while doing boring things like washing up, but feel it is not socially acceptable to do so.
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
  11. Lena_131309

    Lena_131309 Active Member

    Messages:
    76
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2020
    Karma:
    +75
    Go for it :)
     
  12. Lena_131309

    Lena_131309 Active Member

    Messages:
    76
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2020
    Karma:
    +75
    Don't really know. He actually said that he had to really limit that as in the past he was close to get addicted and watch more and more intense videos just to get on the "next kick", so I guess it could actually be sort of addition at the end.
     
  13. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

    Messages:
    3,502
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2019
    Karma:
    +6,116
    My ex was addicted and this was some of our reason for breakup. I have a girlfriend whose ex had a similar problem and they separated also. It can turn into addiction and that is a issue- no doubt
     
    • Agree Agree x 5
  14. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,212
    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2018
    Karma:
    +3,103
    Yuck. My first husband was addicted and also so computer ignorant that he couldn't clear his cache, and this with two kids in the house; also he got some sort of virus that made his laptop show a porn picture at the opening - as my teenage daughter informed me! And of course he had no clue how to get that off of there. I told her not to use dad's computer any more.

    My second husband enjoys a bit of erotica but he doesn't leave a trail, so I have no issue with it. Well, I do ... sex workers in general are an exploited class of people, in my view, and I don't believe in supporting that industry. I'm not prudish; but I'm not all that okay with pornography.
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Like Like x 2
  15. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    24,454
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +31,336
    Not that I can see. At least no differently neurologically speaking than the experience of our neurotypical counterparts. That peoples' individual libidos and sexual choices vary.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2020
    • Agree Agree x 7
  16. Rasputin

    Rasputin ASD / Aspie V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    705
    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2019
    Karma:
    +1,338
    .
    I agree with @Judge on this. I would NOT conclude this behavior is associated with or is exclusive to ASD.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
  17. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,900
    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2017
    Karma:
    +10,501
    I like watching porn. It’s not a substitute for real life intercourse, but it’s a pleasant visual experience for me and it’s an addiction to my sex life. However, I only watch it for the purpose of sexual gratification as sort of a masturbatory aid. Watching erotica during other activities would just be distracting to me, and frankly rather pointless.
     
    • Agree Agree x 5
    • Like Like x 2
  18. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,918
    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2018
    Karma:
    +3,211
    I don't think he likes porn because he's on the autistic spectrum, but it could be that his oblivious use of it when you are there is related to his brain difference, alongside his gender conditioning, which for some males could affect this topic in that he may have picked up during his upbringing and social conditioning a sense of privilege which can make men sometimes unaware or a bit oblivious to others around them, especially children or women, who are culturally seen as less important.

    If you don't like this way of doing things, which presumably you don't, or why post about it, you would need to let him know, and be ready to reason with him, perhaps saying this is up to him when he is alone, but not what you want to see around the place when meeting up.
     
    • Agree Agree x 5
    • Like Like x 1
  19. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    24,454
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +31,336
    Dr. Freud is wondering if you intended to rephrase that. :confused:

    I'm guessing you meant "addition". Not so?
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2020
    • Funny Funny x 8
  20. Varzar

    Varzar Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    453
    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2019
    Karma:
    +839
    I don't see why you don't just ask him outright.. In a curious, non-judgemental way..
    Doesn't sound like he's shy about it.. So.. Just ask.. You'll probably get a more accurate answer that way than by asking us..
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Like Like x 1