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Speaking to someone who is clearly busy

Keith

Keith

Well-Known Member
I tried to talk to Dad about something even though he was busy cooking. He then proceeded to ask me if I wanted inedible food and reminded me of Boy Scouts where they told me to stay out of the kitchen (I don't particularly remember that).
 
It's hard to know when to approach someone. I've had a lot of trouble with that in the past. Maybe you'll have better luck later?
 
Well, they are busy afterall. And might just rather focus on the task at hand. I'm not awfully amused if I'm busy doing something for which I need to focus and someone barges in.

That said, I guess it depends on the task someone is doing. I sometimes walk in on my mom when she's cooking and talk to her, but it seems she can do this on autopilot hence I'm not really disturbing her. I might rather be in her way if she's going through the kitchen from cupboard A to B (that's for having a small kitchen, heh), though it seems that often I'm not zoned out enough and I'll ask her "what do you need?" and grab it for her instead. Perhaps that big of awareness I have when I'm actually "bothering" someone
 
I agree with Cali Cat. It can be hard to know when to approach someone. I think we just do our best and do trial and error. Good luck
 
Some people are fully capable of talking while doing other things, some are not. A good thing would be to ask something like "Dad, I'd like to discuss something with you, can we do it now or are you too busy?"
Make sure you acknowledge that you see they're already doing something.
 
I have never been very good at this. Sometimes if I feel like I need to talk about something specific to someone I often forget to even think about whether or not they might be busy doing something else and I end up trying to talk to them anyway.

People who know me know they can just say "not now" and I'll realise it's not a good time and leave them alone until they finished whatever it is they were doing or come and ask me what I was trying to talk about. This has sometimes been problematic though, because occasionally what I had to say was very important to them and then they get mad at me for not telling them about it sooner...
 
I think that I'm ALWAYS bothering someone... so I keep away. If my husband is cooking, I let him alone but he likes to chat and drink a beer while cooking and I cant chat with him at all because I'm watching him... When I'm cooking (very rare) my kids know that I need to be alone because I cant focus and the food will not be edible... once I try help my princess to study while I was cooking... Her studies was so interesting and we was so concentrated that I just forgot what I was doing... :D
 
In this case, Dad was at the stove and what I was talking about wasn't important, so I should've recognized that and come back later.
 
I'm always talking to my husband when he's A) watching something on T.V., B) on the phone, C) on the toilet.
 
I have trouble telling when somebody is not busy. Every time I approach somebody, they're always fiddling with something. If I know the person I've been able to figure out over time which are little busies I can interrupt or they can chat while doing, and which busies I need to be patient with. But for politeness sake I like to ask them anyway if then's a good time I can bug them.
 
All my life I have had a tendency to interrupt someone clearly busy with something important, only to tell them about something unimportant or ask them some random question. Even today I have a hard time avoiding it. I am working on recognizing the situation. Even just now, however, I mentioned to my mom that the dinner table was still messy despite clearly having noticed she was dealing with her checkbook.
 
Keith said:
All my life I have had a tendency to interrupt someone clearly busy with something important, only to tell them about something unimportant or ask them some random question. Even today I have a hard time avoiding it. I am working on recognizing the situation. Even just now, however, I mentioned to my mom that the dinner table was still messy despite clearly having noticed she was dealing with her checkbook.
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You know Keith, the way you posted this I'd say there's a good chance you might be able to change your ways to some extent here. Under the circumstances that's a good thing. Hope you can improve to a degree that works for you.

I know I have issues in timing and interrupting people on the phone at times. I'm a "work in progress" there too I suppose. ;)
 
Oh wow, yes I am terrible for this and do try not too, but all too often, fail because I am eager to share and not always seeing that the other person ie hubby is busy.
 
I'm sure that I do this too... and have a habit of standing in people's way. It's difficult to know when people are really busy and don't want to be disturbed, and when they won't mind talking to you. Perhaps they should wear a big "do not disturb" sign round their neck :)
 
I think I made a thread about a similar issue about 9 months ago, because I just generally forget to consider/simply can't tell whether or not it's a good time to talk to someone, such as if they are busy, or whether or not the information I am transmitting to them is useful/relevant to them, etc.
 
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