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Some people

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by N2k12, Feb 14, 2021.

  1. N2k12

    N2k12 Active Member

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    Do other aspies in here, find they have a wealth of knowledge on a particular subject. A person asks you a question, you answer them with facts you know to be accurate and true. Yet they "argue" or you are made to feel "wrong" on the subject, even though the other person has no to little knowledge on the subject? Do you find yourself just "hiding" your knowledge, and acting "ignorant" or just saying "i dont know"? It feels like people dont actually want the knowledge or to learn. So why ask? It becomes very depressing over the years. Anyone else experience this?
     
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  2. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It's a test of your pragmatic and social language skills, by the ever present language police..(tell them what they think they want to hear, agree with people to be seen as agreeable).

    Act dumb is a very useful skill.

    It's also cos it's free, people don't value stuff if it's free, let them go pay and expert and then they'll value it.
     
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  3. N2k12

    N2k12 Active Member

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    Interesting. So i should view it is a test, and pass accordingly. It may frustrate me less, viewing it that way to.
     
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  4. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

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    Yeah, I experience this a lot, so I usually just keep silent unless I know the other person is actually going to listen to me.
     
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  5. zurb

    zurb Eschewer of Obfuscation

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    Read ‘A Field Guide to Earthlings’. It’s very insightful. But in short, NT communication is not about truth or facts. It’s about are you a friend. If you’re not a friend, you’re an enemy. Giving correct facts doesn’t endear you to someone who is wanting their ego patted.
     
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  6. Skittlebisquit

    Skittlebisquit "..experience moments of happiness."

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    There is a field guide? I believe i may know about this. Its hard for me to understand it right now. So there is a type of conversation we may well call the Interview. One person takes on the role of the journalist, this person has higher social status, they literally talk down to those beneath them.
    The response to the interview query(query and question differ) is expected to be short and this may be followed with more questions on the same topic or to indicate a theme. then its my turn and i ask a question of her. My question i ask reflects my knowledge of her interests somehow,
    curses i just lost it.

    They dont care about the topic in an interview question, they are asking about something they believe i care about. This is to get me to 'open up'. I am not sure what this means. Perhaps if we both pretend to be interested in the others interests, this facilitates further dialogue.
    I know to some, the dialogue exchange happening is more important, than the content is. This picture is going off in my head, it may be immature and inappropriate, but this type of conversation reminds me of two dogs sniffing eachothers butts when they firstmeet.
     
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  7. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I get people 'interviewing' me a lot, god knows why, I haven't applied for anything and I know they're not gonna like me.
     
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  8. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yes, I've been shut down more times than I can count.
     
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  9. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    My most frustrating times occur when someone starts to explain something that is basic knowledge that I'm well aware of. That I have a much deeper understanding of. And they won't listen to anything I have to say, but keep going on about something that's self-evident.
     
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  10. Bibliophile715

    Bibliophile715 Armin - system member - any pronouns

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    Yes, I experienced this a lot before and somewhat during high school. It's very emotionally draining when someone else doesn't think you're smart enough to know something about a particular subject. Or that you have the capability of reading avidly. It was one of the reasons why I liked college so much before I have been taking medical withdrawals-students there know you're at least smart enough to get in due to test requirements, so my knowledge has never been questioned.

    I just don't reply back that much to very toxic non-neurotypicals. To me it's pointless to as they'll never understand.
     
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  11. HeroOfHyrule

    HeroOfHyrule Chicken Chaser

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    I hate when people do this. Now I just don't answer people when they ask questions and tell them "I don't know", which apparently is rude because I sound annoyed. lol

    I only answer questions from friends and a couple family members.
     
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  12. Skittlebisquit

    Skittlebisquit "..experience moments of happiness."

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    This is important. Its being exclusive and it matters. I have awesome friends. Even so i hold back on sharing alot sometimes
     
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  13. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    The problem I have with sharing my expertise is that well known autistic tendency, going on FOREVER on a topic they have knowledge in. I'm never sure I won't just jump in and monopolize.

    Here's a related thing. When you're in a group, any kind of group, do youi try to hold back on asking questions or offering comments, because you know you have a tendency to monopolize?
     
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  14. N2k12

    N2k12 Active Member

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    Sometimes. Especially about a topic that interests me. I have been asked to stop talking. So now i hold back. I tell myself that people will figure things out on their own. That my knowledge is best kept to myself. I need to remind myself i have nothing to prove, and need to remind myself to not get "excited" when a topic comes up i am knowledgeable in. I need to act "dumb" and let others just talk. I found all this out the hard way. Its sad and lonely and i find i say allot less. But hey. Its better when im not offending anyone, or acting superior in any way.
     
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  15. Skittlebisquit

    Skittlebisquit "..experience moments of happiness."

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    There are other types of ppl that are more fun to talk to. Its still an issue for me. Here though its encouraged. Any topic(almost) at considerable length. Blogspace is even more awesome, as this allows more freedom of expression. Be heard,its ok
     
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  16. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I can talk for hours on certain topics (classic European cars, the more obscure the better, history of all sorts, and of course photography)

    But... Most times I've learned when I need to shut up, because most people don't care... I know I can come across as a know-it-all sometimes, and I try to temper that

    Save all that knowledge for when/if maybe someone wants you to give a talk about your favourite topic, it does happen sometimes, or write an article for possible publishing somewhere/anywhere :)
     
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  17. selena

    selena Well-Known Member

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    If I had a penny every time I told a project lead at work the strategy I would use... only for them to ignore me, spend months wasting my time, and eventually switch gears and do the thing I told them I would do at the very beginning... I'd have about 14 cents.

    They're still the ones getting the promotions and the credibility though. I don't give off the vibe of someone who knows what she's doing for some reason.
     
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  18. N2k12

    N2k12 Active Member

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    I hear you. I hope in the future all asd people become fully recognized.understood, and given a proper, calm enviroment to do so
     
  19. Wolfgangus Faldestolius

    Wolfgangus Faldestolius Little notes from an armchair

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    When everyone is going erm and looking bemused I frame my hobby horse as a question and wheedle myself in in no time that way, and of course they are all agog until they belatedly decide they perhaps have an opinion after all and try to elbow me out. And misunderstand the subject.

    Fancy - I was always the mouse. Mind you most of the people I zoom with are only about 50. Perhaps they are in awe of my grey eyebrows!
     
  20. Neonatal RRT

    Neonatal RRT Well-Known Member

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    The short answer,...NO. I don't hide my knowledge.

    The long answer is that I have viewed enough videos of psychologists basically saying, "If you are dealing with an autistic and question them on facts regarding their special interests,...they will most likely be correct." In my anecdotal experience, that would be an accurate statement. That said, most people, when dealing with a stranger wouldn't be able to recognize someone of the Asperger's-type of autism,...and even if they were told, still wouldn't understand what that meant,...nor what it means when they are receiving factual information from one of us.

    Keep in mind, there are "personal truths" and "objective truths". Personal truths are based upon all that input that compiles "life experience". Objective truths are what may be in the realm of scientific reality or mathematics,...things that are repeatable under experimentation or data collection. For example, my personal truth is that most people go about their life and daily decision making based upon their personal truths,...and less upon objective truths. I could go further and suggest that many, because they do not fully understand the scientific process, are somewhat distrustful science. For example,..."High cholesterol increases your risk of heart disease",....later,..."No, high LDL cholesterol increases your risk of heart disease",....later,..."No, high levels of small particle LDL increases your risk of heart disease". As we gain more information, your doctor may change his/her recommendations, testing, and treatments. I would say that is what is supposed to happen,...yet, others may say, "Why should I trust my doctor,...what he says today will change tomorrow."

    So,...back to your comment,...I would totally expect most people you deal with to be somewhat disinterested or even disagreeable with "factual information" on a topic, especially if it appears to conflict with their "personal truths". If coming from someone like myself,...a person who routinely takes "deep dives" into topics,...it is simply overwhelming for most people. Most people just want a one or two sentence answer so that they can banter, back and forth, in conversation or argument,...but I will give them a novel and not allow them to get in a word, which really puts people off. When my wife and I have friends or relatives over to the house,...my wife is one to either tap me on the shoulder or knee, or she will simply interrupt my monologuing. I have learned to recognize the signs and symptoms of someone who's eyes have glazed over from too much information, perhaps disinterest, or simply just wants to get away from me.
     
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