Some advice

[bookWorm]

Hi all not sure this right place to post this are maybe weird question to ask . My social skills not very good one reason joined here make friends improve my social skills spending lot time reading books and watching movies find hard to understand people along with having terrible grammar .Started chatting to someone on another autism forum when they sent me message asking if like to chat we chatted few weeks talked about online gaming something never done before . We ended up Gaming and chatting very little most time when asked me something replied never responded until just logged out .Later on sent me message saying could still say hi that be busy watching videos i'm after some advice if best still chat to this person very confusing.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Intellectually, I think we know that any relationship is a two-way street,...giving and receiving,...hopefully, in a positive manner where the two parties are both receiving something positive from it. Now, in practice, especially if both are on the spectrum,...there can be varying amounts of communication misinterpretation and confusion, issues with context and perspective, and some personal bonding issues (a lack thereof). With that, it requires some skill at being "neutral" and "polite" while asking clarifying questions in order to reduce any misinterpretations and confusion. In other words, don't fire back, as if offended,...until you've clarified things with context and perspective. Generally, it's just more difficult for many autistics to develop these interpersonal relationships into something more meaningful,...and usually limits itself to more of a friendly acquaintance.

Having said that, if you are comfortable simply chatting,...pretty much what we are doing here,...then that's all well and good. The nice thing about an on-line experience,...if you aren't getting anything from it, if it becomes toxic, or if you're simply not connecting with them as a person,...you're free to block them or simply log off. It really doesn't have to be more complicated than that.

 

[bookWorm]

Thank for the reply feel probably just better delete that may of stopped talking due to lack common interest to chat about that would just become awkward kind of small talk trying find something to chat about .

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Hi all not sure this right place to post this are maybe weird question to ask . My social skills not very good one reason joined here make friends improve my social skills spending lot time reading books and watching movies find hard to understand people along with having terrible grammar .Started chatting to someone on another autism forum when they sent me message asking if like to chat we chatted few weeks talked about online gaming something never done before . We ended up Gaming and chatting very little most time when asked me something replied never responded until just logged out .Later on sent me message saying could still say hi that be busy watching videos i'm after some advice if best still chat to this person very confusing.

That's kind of what autistic people do. Conversation is hard for us, and written is better. That being said, sometimes an autistic adult needs to log out for a while, think about their response, and then log back in and write it. It won't always sound like the neurotypical world. So be gentle on yourself and other aspies.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Hi all not sure this right place to post this are maybe weird question to ask . My social skills not very good one reason joined here make friends improve my social skills spending lot time reading books and watching movies find hard to understand people along with having terrible grammar .Started chatting to someone on another autism forum when they sent me message asking if like to chat we chatted few weeks talked about online gaming something never done before . We ended up Gaming and chatting very little most time when asked me something replied never responded until just logged out .Later on sent me message saying could still say hi that be busy watching videos i'm after some advice if best still chat to this person very confusing.

Can I just make sure I have interpreted your message right?

I find people hard to understand, I am autistic myself but as we are all different I find autistic people hard to understand as well. "No offence spectrum people"

You started chatting to a fellow member of another autism forum.

They invited you to chat and you chatted a few weeks.

You both like gaming and ended up gaming together. The chatting decreased, but the gaming carried on.

Is it that they stopped responding to you?

Maybe he is ghosting you?
Just a guess.

Sometimes we meet people online, not always romantically but they just stop responding or, they may give a reason why.

This is ghosting, they just vanish.

If this is the case, while it is painful, acceptance of the situation is required. Decent people don't ghost.
It is not respectful.
Can you find a way to process it and when you have, you will find that you can move on.
It's important to process it in order to move on.

If I got that wrong, and you didn't respond, reflect on why, maybe you had a bad feeling about him, only you knows, I hope this helps.

 

[Gift2humanity]

That's kind of what autistic people do. Conversation is hard for us, and written is better. That being said, sometimes an autistic adult needs to log out for a while, think about their response, and then log back in and write it. It won't always sound like the neurotypical world. So be gentle on yourself and other aspies.

Yeah, as an Aspie myself, I find it hard to understand other Aspies, and sometimes find myself judging them forgetting to think, "They have Asperger's, ok it may be different to mind, but they have Aspergers.

 

[Suzette]

I confess, I am a serial online ghoster. I am working on that though.

Why do I do it? Because I find actual friendship hard. From time to time I meet people online through forums and sometimes they want to email with me too. But I am always afraid that once they get to know the real me they won't want to be my friend any more.
This is true in real life too.

Maybe your gaming friend is like this as well.
Friendships take emotional effort and risk.

And I confess, I could not game and chat.

 

[bookWorm]

Bit hard to understand this site seem more open and friendly with other site not even sure how describle it feel bit hostile there .Bit suspried someone messaing asking if like online gaming taking chance maybe make friend only heard term ghosting used few times not to sure what it means bit confusing to me .