Social Skills Training and More

[neilwalker1970]

I'm 51 now, and diagnosed with Aspergers aged 45, so I never had any help when I was a kid. I would like to know if there is such a thing as social skills training for adults.

I tried various therapies in my 20s and 30s none of which did much because I did n't have a diagnosis. Things like CBT are too reductive and don't help if you don't have the social skills knowledge in the first place. It's all about forcing yourself to overcome your fear.

It's things like how to keep a conversation going, or not knowing how to get into a conversation. For example, I find it difficult when I've been on a night out with work colleagues and other people are talking. I don't know where to start and I just "zone out".

Any thoughts?

Thanks

 

[OkRad]

I get the feeling adults are almost always on their own. That is why I come here .

 

[ZebraAutismo]

I’ve not had speech therapy since I was 15 but I know adults can have to work on social skills and confidence. I’ve worked in counciling more recently about talking to people outside my comfort zone.

 

[Thinx]

I did a lot of therapy in therapy groups over the years, that's quite helpful I found, just gives you a regular group to mix with and get feedback from, and learn from.

As in your situation, I wasn't diagnosed then, I just knew I needed some help, I tended to see my issues as more related to my family upbringing, which was partially true.

A therapy group is good because everyone is there for a reason, and there's a feeling that people can help each other with suggestions and feedback. I don't know how it would be to say I was there due to autism, I didn't know that then, so I don't know how useful that would be to say, given how little people know about autism. Including therapists.

However, I would add that part of what's useful about a therapy group is that it is somewhat structured, and that I still don't find unstructured social interaction very doable. It isn't actually due to lack of social skills, I find, it's due to slow processing which is a neurological issue, and I did latterly get tired of people in therapy sometimes offering me basic advice about social interaction that I already knew in theory but couldn't do in practice, it seemed.

It can be best to aim for structured or semi structured activities and interest groups, or classes, I concluded, due to the processing issues that make my ability to interact in unstructured groups limited.

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

Night out with work colleagues - that is heavy duty. Mine treated each other as individuals and it was considered normal to want to leave early or not come at all. A lot of us were slow moving or easily overwhelmed or prided ourselves on a staid lifestyle. We valued each other on the job and didn't mind one way or another who socialised how or when. Those that hadn't joined in would more likely tease those who had, than the reverse.

The best strategy is, have some simple goals and be confident in them. When young, I sometimes tried to stick around whoever the "crowd" was, and didn't get enough out of it.