So lonely

[TardyRayGun65]

I'm lonely and I feel like I need a girl to fill the void. I've never been on a real date before. I had a "girlfriend" in 4th grade but it wasn't real. We went to church together but that isn't a date. Also she quickly broke up with me so that was a bust. Does anybody have advice for me?

 

[Chance]

It's all fun an giggles till you do the unthinkable and get married - to a dominate NT (who used to think I was the cutest, shy thing) but then it got real... OMG help!

Dude go to the library and maybe find a friend to talk with, or go back to your church... who knows you may find the girl of your wildest dreams... Just always know who you are and dont let people change you and pick out an intelligent one who is maybe AS or ASD.

I think our types are just meant to be lonely feeling. I feel that way even when people are around, but I also know not everyone is like me, or you, or the hot chick you might pickup at the library... I'm jus sayin. : )

Cheer up dude, its ebb and flow, just start looking

 

[Suzanne]

I am married and suffer extruciating lonliness.

My husband goes to work and I have chronic social anxiety and do not have a driving licence and so, am at home all the time, on my own and whereas, there was a time I actually learned to enjoy my own company, suddenly, as of last year, suffering terribly from very lonely and it goes completely, when hubby comes home and strangely, if he is doing something that means we are not even in the same area, I still sense I am not alone anymore and feel great!

It is a horrible catch twenty two, because I NEED social interactions, but CANNOT deal with social interactions.

Hubby says: why not text and ask a female to come over for coffee? So simple right? Well, how about the fact that one lives just 5 minutes away from me and I am STILL hesitant to get in touch and invite over. I am petrified that she texts back and says: thanks, but not this time and that stops me from going there.

 

[WittyAspie]

Take this from someone who has been there: expecting a girl to fill your void is setting the relationship up for failure. Find things that make life fulfilling without a companion. Ideally, in the process of doing those things, you will find someone with similar passions. No one will ever be able to complete you if you don't know who you are.

You are very young and have plenty of time to figure yourself out and find a significant other. Take the time to develop as a man, then someone will come along who can complement your attributes. I know this probably isn't what yoo wanted to hear and certainly isn't the easiest path, but it's the truth.

 

[Bolletje]

I agree with @WittyAspie in that you shouldn't try to use someone else to fill that void. Be a complete person on your own, don't look for someone else to complete you.

A well-rounded individual with hobbies and interests is infinitely more interesting than someone who just wants a relationship not to be alone anymore.

 

[Tyrantus1212]

I'm lonely and I feel like I need a girl to fill the void. I've never been on a real date before. I had a "girlfriend" in 4th grade but it wasn't real. We went to church together but that isn't a date. Also she quickly broke up with me so that was a bust. Does anybody have advice for me?

I'm almost 30 years old and I've never been on a date before; you're definitely not alone Ty. I haven't even had a "girlfriend" the way you did. I'd advise for you to keep looking of course, but don't try too hard. Most importantly - don't be afraid of being rejected! I know it happens to everybody. For the record I don't go out a lot, and for a long time there I haven't even been interested in dating. At all. Have you ever asked a girl out, maybe at school? Do you know any who are available and share some common interests with you? You said in your intro that you're 15 - so there's still plenty of time, plenty of hope! I repeat, I'm almost 30 YEARS OLD and I've never been on a date, real or not, before. Yet I know there's still a chance of that happening for me.

 

[Momo]

A girl cannot fill that void, it's like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. As for dating, I think it's best to do that at interest clubs and the like, such as kayaking or boxing. Church may work for you. If you already have a shared interest to talk about, it makes the first conversation a whole lot easier.

 

[SusanLR]

I don't think a girl can fill that empty feeling either.
I never found it and I dated a lot of guys. Most didn't last long. I've always felt alone even with others. Still do.
The family I grew up with were the only ones that made things feel complete. Others were just that---others. Had their place in my life, but never felt completed by them. Yes, if you can learn to first treasure your own company you're way ahead in the game. Then someone else can compliment that.

 

[Alaska]

I'm lonely and I feel like I need a girl to fill the void. I've never been on a real date before. I had a "girlfriend" in 4th grade but it wasn't real. We went to church together but that isn't a date. Also she quickly broke up with me so that was a bust. Does anybody have advice for me?

Hi Tyler. Just work on being the right man for the kind of woman you want to have in your life. Keep working on that and pray and she will show up in your life.

 

[Ellie.s]

Hi everyone! It's been a while since the last time I've posted anything, although I've been reading many of the topics. For those of you who don't remember me, I consider myself high functioning.
So, I don't want to ask anything or ask for advice, I just want to get this out of my chest.
I feel like I'm all alone in this world. My family were never really there for me (I grew up with my mother who is bipolar so it was all her needing my help, don't get me wrong, I love her, she is just not the person you can rely on or discuss anything important).
I used to make friendships but they all seemed to just disappear and I never knew why. The last few years I haven't been able to make a frienship or a relationship. I constantly have the feeling they see something in me that I don't. As if they know there's something wrong with me although I try my best to be a good and friendly person and I honestly think I've learned many ways to hide the fact that I'm somehow different. I've tried almost every hobbie you can think of! Sometimes I want to scream in front of everybody "just tell me what's wrong with me" and keep screaming until somebody answers me.. I'm not very sure but I suspect that some people I've met in my hobbies could tell I've got Aspergers. I don't know how but there was this guy who told me "you must be really good at math" out of nowhere! We discussed it a little bit and he said it was "just a hunch".. I just don't get it. What I'm doing wrong. And it's worse if you had friendships and relationships in the past. Because you know the feeling of being loved and accepted.and it's harder to know what you're missing.
That's it. I really hope I didn't make anyone feel bad..

 

[Chance]

I feel like I'm all alone in this world

I know exactly what you mean... Maybe in more ways than most people can imagine...
I too kind of suck at making friends I feel its because my ASD does at times show itself and people don't know what is wrong with me, nor do they know what to do with the questions it puts into their heads about me...

Once I started looking at it that way... I started understanding people better. I do "watch" my every move and word because I am very sane... and I know I do things that can make people have questions.

My hands if not kept in check can be a dead give away that I have some sort of an issue... I tap my centre 2 fingers against my palms, or bounce my legs really (short stroke but fast) when I sitting. So my "nervousness" is always out front and I think that alone makes other people nervous and cautious about me (us)....

However we are what we are. On this site I have learned so much about communicating that its not even categorizable.

I too want more real world friends, but I have people here who accept me and my weirdness because they understand it whereas people out in the real world don't.

In that blabber... I hope you can just jump in the mix here and fill some of those holes in your heart. Sure its not real world, but these people are very real. I am very real and I will always be glad to talk to you... That never means I have anything good to say, or anything knowledgeable, but sometimes just being there for someone else, can make LONELY go the hell away for a while... : )

 

[SusanLR]

And it's worse if you had friendships and relationships in the past. Because you know the feeling of being loved and accepted.and it's harder to know what you're missing.

This is exactly why I feel that totally alone in the world emotion now.
I've known a few people that I've loved very much and knew the feeling of being loved and accepted in return.
There is no one in my life that I can feel this way with currently.

Like Chance said, this is not real life, but, it does make a difference. Writing out our feelings, venting, participating in posting to each other is more like speaking with others than just journaling.
I do journal, but, usually for personal affirmations, sudden negative emotions or thoughts I want to be free of and just little quick notes for the day.

I know the feeling of lonely sometimes is overwhelming,
but, we help each other here however we are able.

 

[paloftoon]

Exercise can help, and just try communicating with people with mutual interests to yours and hanging with them. This can help a lot. Keep improving yourself, and if you're in the process of possibly getting someone, remember that it's all about confidence, leveling, and compromising. Be willing to put up with some things about that person, but that person needs to reciprocate enough too. Good luck.