Look at this thing:
So, I started working on this thing just today. Been at it most of the day.
I'd had a sort of vague idea of something I really wanted to do, after discovering Neocities on the internet somewhat recently. Browsing around that... a LOT of amazing creative stuff. I'm talking like, "old internet" sort of creativity. Seriously, if you've never been there, head over there. It's a wild ride.
Seeing that, and looking at the resources and tools they have available, I figure... you know what, I can make something right here. An interactive site to house a lot of my different art things, both digital and physical.
A lot of inspiration all over that place too, to get ideas.
I had been wanting to do some sort of really "big" project for months now... something more than just rendering single fractals or scribbling on paper. Something special. And finally, early this morning, I got the right idea to work with.
There's a lot of stuff I need to learn to do this. I'd wondered... can I manage this? I've never tried building a site before. I dont know html yet, and I might need a bit more than just that. Things like that. I'm doing my best though to try to remain confident though, instead of what I usually do which is assuming I cant do anything. I figure... you know what, I can make these horribly complicated fractals of all types and it's pretty much second nature now. Some 12 or so apps I've learned to do that stuff. Surely I can handle learning to cobble together an interactive site... right? Boy I hope so.
Picked up this software as well to help in organizing it. I realized, I cant just do this complicated of a project on the fly, which is how I normally do things. I *need* something to keep all the connections mapped out... it's time to start organizing something for like the first time in forever. I'm really not used to doing that.
Ya know what though, I'm finding that stuff like that has been getting easier as my depression slowly lifts, and as the chronic pain slowly recedes (somewhat). It is... nice. It really is. I feel a lot better when I'm DOING things, productive things. Even if it's just something like doing the laundry.
Well... I blame depression for that, but I realized it's not just that. It was also my experiences back in school, all those years ago. It entirely killed off any actual desire to do stuff like this. Anything "work" was just immediately looked at with dread and a "this is stupid, I dont want to do this" attitude. I hadnt always been like that. There was a time when I wanted to be a programmer. I was learning Basic back in the DOS days (using QBasic specifically) and was really into it. And then highschool hit. The excitement and satisfaction of things like that just... died. I stopped trying to learn to code at that point. Stopped doing art. It's only recently that the lingering negative effects of school FINALLY started to fade.
Frustrating, really. Though I know I'm far from the only one who had a terrible experience back in school. But hey... finally getting back to things. It took awhile, but the important thing is that it happens at all, I suppose.
On a side note, I've managed to drastically increase the speed at which I can render stuff like this. A render that previously needed like 25 minutes now only needs like 30 seconds. Each of the images in the flowchart are of enormous resolution, and with full lighting and materials applied to the objects. I tell ya, THAT is satisfying. Turns out it IS possible to push this PC even further.
Now the trick is to just stick to this and keep some real momentum going. That's the hard part, I still struggle with that. I've got my whiteboard, and that helps a lot, but... oh yeah, it's tough. I wonder how super productive people manage that one.
Once I've got something properly functional, I'll be sure to share it. Though that's going to take quite awhile.
So, I started working on this thing just today. Been at it most of the day.
I'd had a sort of vague idea of something I really wanted to do, after discovering Neocities on the internet somewhat recently. Browsing around that... a LOT of amazing creative stuff. I'm talking like, "old internet" sort of creativity. Seriously, if you've never been there, head over there. It's a wild ride.
Seeing that, and looking at the resources and tools they have available, I figure... you know what, I can make something right here. An interactive site to house a lot of my different art things, both digital and physical.
A lot of inspiration all over that place too, to get ideas.
I had been wanting to do some sort of really "big" project for months now... something more than just rendering single fractals or scribbling on paper. Something special. And finally, early this morning, I got the right idea to work with.
There's a lot of stuff I need to learn to do this. I'd wondered... can I manage this? I've never tried building a site before. I dont know html yet, and I might need a bit more than just that. Things like that. I'm doing my best though to try to remain confident though, instead of what I usually do which is assuming I cant do anything. I figure... you know what, I can make these horribly complicated fractals of all types and it's pretty much second nature now. Some 12 or so apps I've learned to do that stuff. Surely I can handle learning to cobble together an interactive site... right? Boy I hope so.
Picked up this software as well to help in organizing it. I realized, I cant just do this complicated of a project on the fly, which is how I normally do things. I *need* something to keep all the connections mapped out... it's time to start organizing something for like the first time in forever. I'm really not used to doing that.
Ya know what though, I'm finding that stuff like that has been getting easier as my depression slowly lifts, and as the chronic pain slowly recedes (somewhat). It is... nice. It really is. I feel a lot better when I'm DOING things, productive things. Even if it's just something like doing the laundry.
Well... I blame depression for that, but I realized it's not just that. It was also my experiences back in school, all those years ago. It entirely killed off any actual desire to do stuff like this. Anything "work" was just immediately looked at with dread and a "this is stupid, I dont want to do this" attitude. I hadnt always been like that. There was a time when I wanted to be a programmer. I was learning Basic back in the DOS days (using QBasic specifically) and was really into it. And then highschool hit. The excitement and satisfaction of things like that just... died. I stopped trying to learn to code at that point. Stopped doing art. It's only recently that the lingering negative effects of school FINALLY started to fade.
Frustrating, really. Though I know I'm far from the only one who had a terrible experience back in school. But hey... finally getting back to things. It took awhile, but the important thing is that it happens at all, I suppose.
On a side note, I've managed to drastically increase the speed at which I can render stuff like this. A render that previously needed like 25 minutes now only needs like 30 seconds. Each of the images in the flowchart are of enormous resolution, and with full lighting and materials applied to the objects. I tell ya, THAT is satisfying. Turns out it IS possible to push this PC even further.
Now the trick is to just stick to this and keep some real momentum going. That's the hard part, I still struggle with that. I've got my whiteboard, and that helps a lot, but... oh yeah, it's tough. I wonder how super productive people manage that one.
Once I've got something properly functional, I'll be sure to share it. Though that's going to take quite awhile.
