Should I suicide if no-one cares or loves me in life?

[Fino]

there's nothing silly about pointing out obvious logical inconsistencies, especially when one is attempting to reason themselves into taking their own life.

If I seemed to refer to anything in particular, that was a mistake. I meant it as a general rule and hadn't even read your posts!

 

[Bronzelincolns]

If I seemed to refer to anything in particular, that was a mistake. I meant it as a general rule and hadn't even read your posts!

fair enough..

 

[Eric the NNT]

The only reason that I have not committed suicide is fear of the unknown.

Since there is anxiety concerning both life and death, the default position of continuing to live results from mere inertia.

Life, quite ironically, is therefore the path of least resistance.

 

[OrdinaryCitizen]

What test is this graph from?


For the OP i guess you can always try the other side of the spectrum i mean being gay and see how this works for you.

 

[Sid Delicious]

I only just noticed this post, but hope you're feeling a bit more upbeat now.

 

[guitarandtattoos]

What test is this graph from?


For the OP i guess you can always try the other side of the spectrum i mean being gay and see how this works for you.

Not sure how sexuality would make anything better or worse.

 

[guitarandtattoos]

I only just noticed this post, but hope you're feeling a bit more upbeat now.

@Sid Delicious Not really, but it is what It is and it's a lot of factors to the situation people don't understand and just want to judge and criticize.

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

@dragstone I can accept that not everyone will agree with me or think the same way I do about things or believe the same things I do. But I think loving and not expecting the same in return would actually perpetuate someone thinking it's okay to do anything they want or treat someone anyway they want.

But, maybe we should define specific loves in the future so there's no confusion. For the most part I try to treat others the way I want to be treated. There are times I'm an asshole and do wrong because I'm not perfect and I will always make mistakes.

I guess I just don't understand why you would hate anyone and not do good to those that do good to you. I can understand being very angry about situations and I understand protecting yourself from those who are dangerous to your well-being.

I don't think there's anything wrong with expecting love in return. But then that makes me wonder if I really do love unconditionally and if wanting love back is in fact a condition. But, I thought that's just how it's suppose to go. If you show love to someone one they should show love to you.

Just wondering... Is it possible that your love language, and the love languages of the people you gave love, are different?

...Maybe that's why you dont feel you get the love in return, when they actually (try to) love you, or vice versa..?

I dont know. Just wondering.

 

[guitarandtattoos]

Just wondering... Is it possible that your love language, and the love languages of the people you gave love, are different?

...Maybe that's why you dont feel you get the love in return, when they actually (try to) love you, or vice versa..?

I dont know. Just wondering.

@BlueSky Aozora
Nah, I understand people express love in different ways. I just don't have anyone involved in my life like that. especially not family. no-one speaks to me at all, visits me or spends time with me. I have found out that's a good thing in some ways though.

I am no contact with numerous relatives because I won't tolerate abuse and people have to respect my boundaries which I believe are reasonable. (no verbal tirades or foul language directed at me and people must treat me how they want to be treated.)

The last incident involved a relative implying I should kill myself. I had another relative threaten to kill me also call me a woman and girl because I ask him to watch how he speaks to me and asked someone to stop cussing at me. this has put me back in a space from an incident in my childhood.

I am man enough to admit my faults and where I'm wrong when I am and my entire life I've never heard sorry for anything or any even acknowledgement of wrong doing because my family believes they are never wrong and everything is my fault.

I have had sit-downs with my mother and have said things like I don't feel loved by her and others and there is not even an emotional response from her. It's like a complete void of empathy, love and compassion. (I am very direct about how I feel about things.)

I don't have any friends in real life and I recently moved to a new city so the ones I lived by have abandoned me and I never heard a word from them again after reaching out but I guess they weren't really friends so fk em and as an adult it's extremely hard to make friends.

 

[china autie]

A relative or anyone implying that you should kill yourself-- they are mean and they are the ones with the problem, not you.

I have recently moved also.

I have a lot of acquaintances but only two friends [who live several hours away].

Having people to say hello to, yeah.
People to hang out with or do stuff with-- no.

I stay alive for my animals.
The place that helped me is the Samaritans UK. All the volunteers are named "Jo" and you can email them. They will write back.
They don't judge.
They don't pressure you to do anything.
Maybe they can help you too.

 

[guitarandtattoos]

A relative or anyone implying that you should kill yourself-- they are mean and they are the ones with the problem, not you.

I have recently moved also.

I have a lot of acquaintances but only two friends [who live several hours away].

Having people to say hello to, yeah.
People to hang out with or do stuff with-- no.

I stay alive for my animals.
The place that helped me is the Samaritans UK. All the volunteers are named "Jo" and you can email them. They will write back.
They don't judge.
They don't pressure you to do anything.
Maybe they can help you too.

@china autie
I understand what you're saying I had two dogs and they were my best friends but I recently lost them in a fire and that's also the reason I'm in a new city. Lost everything I owned plus them.

Then on top of that my GF at the time left me right after and I'm dealing with substance abuse issues now. Plus no family or friends.

Anyway, I'm done with pets for a while because of the huge attachment I had to them and I can't deal with that right now. Sorry to go off on a tangent. But, I wanted to at least explain why I'm uninterested in pets.

 

[china autie]

@guitarandtattoos Some years ago now, I was also in a fire and lost a kitty. I am deeply sorry for your loss and the total rearrangement of your life. I went through hard times for at least a year after.

Do you think that your current emotions are related to the fire?

For a long time, fire drills became worse for me than they'd ever been. I would panic. One day the fire alarm kept going off at work. The boss sent me home. It was bad.


Pets are better than people and no two are exactly alike. I had frogs for awhile. They became a passion [special interest] and are really cool. They classify as 'specimens' though, not pets.

I had to leave them behind when I moved away from the abusive ex and they are now dead. There is no way that I can have frogs right now. Maybe in the future.


Substance abuse or addictions [and I don't know you at all so I have no opinion on which it is] tough stuff also. I am always on the periphery of any group but I found that intherooms dot com has a variety of meetings [including one that is based loosely on Buddhism and a few other ones that aren't 12 step] and I don't have to talk there. It's a cam voice thing and I don't cam or voice on the net. But listening is good enough for me. And with the option not to be social and the option to leave an online meeting when I want to, well, they help.

I hope that things settle down for you [and they will] sooner rather than later.

Take care of YOU.

 

[guitarandtattoos]

Do you think that your current emotions are related to the fire?

@china autie
Nah, It's due to no-one having an active role in my life, conditional love from others, No family support and issues not being acknowledged, swept under the rug and making things my fault only. These are problems that existed before the fire and I have always been very direct and vocal about the things that are wrong or problems and what would be helpful. of course the fire doesn't help though.

 

[Fino]

I think all love is conditional but maybe I'm just cynical.

Does no-one having an active role mean like friends, relationships, stuff like that? Or something else?

Does family support mean financial, emotional, or both? I don't see family issues as a good enough reason to be chronically unhappy, but I also don't value family so that could just be my thing.

 

[guitarandtattoos]

I think all love is conditional but maybe I'm just cynical.

Does no-one having an active role mean like friends, relationships, stuff like that? Or something else?

Does family support mean financial, emotional, or both? I don't see family issues as a good enough reason to be chronically unhappy, but I also don't value family so that could just be my thing.

When I mean no one has an active role I mean no one really puts an effort to be a part of my life. fortunately I have learned that family doesn't deserve to be a part of my life due to treatment.

I don't have any friends to hang with and spend time with. I just want someone to want me in their life and appreciate me in their life.

There's a lot of things I don't talk about and there's a lot that gets swept under the rug and I feel my feelings are invalidated.

RN I'm unemployed but there is several family buisnisess that I have asked can I help or be a part in and I have other relatives working in the buisnesses and I'm rejected and then bitched at that I don't have a job and don't work. I also have agoraphobia.

There's isn't emotional support. I see things from others point of view even when they treat me nasty I think about what they go through and what pain they may be in but no one does that for me or understands how I feel or care so fk it.

I have strong family values and I look forward to having my own family I can instill some morals and love into and be there for them.

At this point I don't want anything to do with relatives until there is accountability for actions, I admit to my wrong doings and I expect that in return.

Hope to make some nice friends in the future and nothing is gonna stop me from unconditionally loving others and I'm not accepting mistreatment anymore.

 

[Fino]

Your goals give me the impression that you're going to do great! I know it's hard now, but you sound resilient and willful!

 

[SageRose]

Lately I've been thinking about it a lot. I don't have any friends, any family, anyone special. Also, I don't feel entitled to have any friends, family or SO. No-one owes me anything. Also, I love myself in a lot of ways so don't give me the I need to love myself garbage. I really don't see a reason to be alive if everyday is just the same and there is no motivating love factor.

Of course you should not suicide. I get that you might be tired of feeling like this but in the end you should think long and hard about some things. Does not having anyone special right now, mean you won't have someone in the future? Is this really important enough for you to suicide? Is there nothing else in your life that makes you happy/motivated? If not, I'd try by finding more motives and things to make myself happier. People need to feel good about themselves first before relying on the existence or not of someone special. I sincerly hope you will not suicide. I don't wanna sound cliche or anything, but life IS indeed beautiful. You can find many things to make your life beautiful with or without someone special.

 

[guitarandtattoos]

Of course you should not suicide. I get that you might be tired of feeling like this but in the end you should think long and hard about some things. Does not having anyone special right now, mean you won't have someone in the future? Is this really important enough for you to suicide? Is there nothing else in your life that makes you happy/motivated? If not, I'd try by finding more motives and things to make myself happier. People need to feel good about themselves first before relying on the existence or not of someone special. I sincerly hope you will not suicide. I don't wanna sound cliche or anything, but life IS indeed beautiful. You can find many things to make your life beautiful with or without someone special.

@SageRose
I play / practice guitar everyday and drink and love others and that's what makes me happy. I think having people in life that care about you or involved is important to your well being. it doesn't have to be a significant other and ALOT of people don't understand not having any loving environment, whether it be family, friends, gf, wife, whatever, It's easier said than done. Everyone's got an explanation, criticism or judgment and it offers nothing but more loneliness and frustration.

It's safe to say you haven't experienced what I'm talking about and some things people don't get until they go through it themselves. I'm sure you have good intentions but you and others on the forum don't understand what I'm really talking about.

Sure, life is beautiful and I never stated it wasn't and that good and great things don't exist.

 

[SageRose]

@SageRose
I play / practice guitar everyday and drink and love others and that's what makes me happy. I think having people in life that care about you or involved is important to your well being. it doesn't have to be a significant other and ALOT of people don't understand not having any loving environment, whether it be family, friends, gf, wife, whatever, It's easier said than done. Everyone's got an explanation, criticism or judgment and it offers nothing but more loneliness and frustration.

It's safe to say you haven't experienced what I'm talking about and some things people don't get until they go through it themselves. I'm sure you have good intentions but you and others on the forum don't understand what I'm really talking about.

Sure, life is beautiful and I never stated it wasn't and that good and great things don't exist.

Hey! I get what you're saying. I wasn't trying to give you psychological lecture or advice, by no means. I myself know what it feels like to not be understood most if not all of the time for various reasons. I can't imagine not having at least one person close to me so I can simply suspect what it might feel like and since I've always had abandonement issues and fears of losing my loved ones, I can just grasp even a tiny bit of what you;re probably going through. I certainly can't understand exactly what you are going through though, I don't think any of us wanted to pretend that we do. I just wanted to give you an alternative point of view and hopefully it might help you even a bit. I wish you all the best

 

[WolfSpirit]

Lately I've been thinking about it a lot. I don't have any friends, any family, anyone special. Also, I don't feel entitled to have any friends, family or SO. No-one owes me anything. Also, I love myself in a lot of ways so don't give me the I need to love myself garbage. I really don't see a reason to be alive if everyday is just the same and there is no motivating love factor.

Knee-jerk reaction: No.

Second thought on the subject: if you don't feel you deserve any friends, or other emotional connections, I'd see a therapist about that, and try to figure out why that is, and what you can do about it. And I think there's a difference, personally, between loving one's self, and feeling one deserves to have close emotional connections. It's totally possible for both to coexist.

Third thought: I've always thought NT's obsession with relationships, to the exclusion of all other purposes in life is ridiculous and exclusionary! ... I remember when one of my cousins got engaged, years ago, and everybody was all excited, and acting like that's all that was important in life. They were acting like my life wasn't important, and wasn't valuable because I didn't have, and didn't understand, the concept or romantic relationships!! I found a lot of purpose and value to my life without those things! I was also just barely beginning to understand the importance of true friendships, and deep emotional relationships with other people. Most of it was still pretty foreign to me, and I was still largely averse, or indifferent to relationships as a whole.

4th thought: Here's part of a conversation I had with my current autism specialist, maybe about a year ago or so. She kept asking me what goals I had for myself, and what things I wanted to achieve in the next year/near future. At the time, I didn't really have any. I was happy to just rest, and coast. To explore this whole notion of being happy, and not having a lot of stress in my life, and seeing what recognizing that I've been in a better situation mentally than I ever have in my life might bring me in terms of new opportunities. She apparently didn't find this specific enough, or something, as she kept asking the same question for a few months in a row. Finally she said something to the effect of what projects I had in mind, or ... something.

Anyways, it turns out the gist of the whole thing was this question: What gives your life purpose? What provides meaning? She said something to the effect that having goals for the future, and tasks we'd like to do, or achievements we'd like to accomplish gives humans purpose, and are important for our mental health and feelings of wellbeing. When she put it that way, I discovered I had a whole list of things that I want to do. From little, everyday things, to larger, longer term ones.

So, here's my question: are there things in your life that give your life purpose? Can you make a list of them (mental or physical)? It doesn't matter what other people, or society in general thinks of these things (if they exist), it only matters that they matter to you.

I'd say, as long as there are such things that you can think of, then life is worth living.

If there is absolutely nothing, then you've got a problem, and need to address that until you can come up with something. (using whatever mechanisms you can to solve the problem. Whether that means accessing medical or other services, or finding things on your own that would help.)