share a funny story

[Pats]

I did think about this yesterday, so may as well do it, since we all seem to need it. We all have things in our life that has happened that makes us laugh when we remember it. Share those tales.
I was babysitting my daughters dogs and staying at her house (it's when I was living in Ga). She has big dogs and the fence around her back yard was a 6 foot fence. My son had asked if I wanted to meet him for lunch so I was bringing the dogs in. As soon as I stepped out the door, one of the other dogs pushed it shut and it was locked, so I was stuck in the back yard. And, of course, no phone. I ended up moving a bucket, that was just high enough I could peep over the fence and there was a utility guy next door. I yelled and got his attention so he brought his ladder and rescued me. lol

If that didn't get a chuckle I could always tell about the time (after working all night and was sleepy) I drove away with the gas hose still in my gas tank.

 

[Pats]

 

[TempeFan]

Who, besides my husband, hasn't driven away with the gas hose still in the tank? When I remember to take the hose out, sometimes I forget to close the little door. Since manufacturers have started attaching gas caps to the vehicles, I bet they aren't selling as many aftermarket gas caps.

OK, here's another stranded story. One time we drove the truck to the trailhead and like usual, I put the key on a string around my neck and locked everything else in the truck while we took a hike. When we got back I was unable to unlock the truck because the key around my neck was our car key. This one particular time, I grabbed the wrong key on a string, was also the one and only time I just pushed the button down instead of locking the truck with the actual key and also the one and only time my husband, Mr Chronic Doublechecker, forgot to remind me to lock the truck with the key. Might I also mention, he's the one who handed me the wrong key in the first place. We had to walk 2 miles all the way home to get the truck key. But wait, there's more. We were then locked out of our house because both sets of house keys were still locked in the truck. We had to break into our own house like burglars. Good news is, we ended up with twice the hike we bargained for that beautiful sunny summer day.

 

[Pats]

Living in San Antonio I got in the habit of locking my car doors, even if I just ran in to pay for gas. So I had gone in to pay for my gas, came out. Had to dig my keys out of my purse and unlocked the door. Dropped my keys into my pocket and went to open the door and I had just locked it. Dug my key back out and unlocked it again. Then I noticed that my window had been down the entire time and looked around hoping no one had been watching. LOL Of course, today, it would have landed on youtube. LOL

 

[Autistamatic]

Years ago when I worked in Wales, I had to call someone in from a waiting area.
"Dai Evans please"
3 guys stood up.
"Oh... errr... That's David 'Dai' Evans"
1 guy sat down.
"David 'Dai' Evans of Mercer Street?"
Both guys remained standing.
"Born in May?"
Still both standing and looking at each other and me quizzically.
"Errr... David 'Dai" Evans, lives in Mercer Street born in May 1952?"
At last one sat down

 

[Ginseng]

Oh wow!!!

At last one sat down

 

[Ginseng]

I have a fear of this so, not funny to me.

so I was stuck in the back yard

 

[clg114]

When my youngest son was about 12, he and I had three paper routes. Every morning we got up at 4:00 AM and delivered newspapers. At one of the houses that I delivered, there was a HUGE dog in the back yard. The fence was about 6 feet tall and he would jump up on the fence to see over it. One morning the gate was open and the dog was in the front yard. I walked into the yard while he watched me. When I got about 10 feet from the front porch, I threw the rolled up paper onto the porch. As soon as I threw the paper, the dog ran to the porch, grabbed the paper and bought it back to me. This big scary looking dog was a puppy and wanted to play. I threw the paper back on the porch and he bought it right back to me. I wasn't sure what to do at this point, so I walked the paper to the porch and sat it down. As I walked away, he seemed disappointed that we weren't going to play anymore.

 

[Pats]

When my youngest son was about 12, he and I had three paper routes. Every morning we got up at 4:00 AM and delivered newspapers. At one of the houses that I delivered, there was a HUGE dog in the back yard. The fence was about 6 feet tall and he would jump up on the fence to see over it. One morning the gate was open and the dog was in the front yard. I walked into the yard while he watched me. When I got about 10 feet from the front porch, I threw the rolled up paper onto the porch. As soon as I threw the paper, the dog ran to the porch, grabbed the paper and bought it back to me. This big scary looking dog was a puppy and wanted to play. I threw the paper back on the porch and he bought it right back to me. I wasn't sure what to do at this point, so I walked the paper to the porch and sat it down. As I walked away, he seemed disappointed that we weren't go to play anymore.

that's hilarious.

 

[invisibility003]

A few months ago, some American friends of my parents (Beth and Tom) came over to stay at our house overnight. They made the mistake of leaving their belongings unattended in their room, with the door wide open. My naughty beagle, Toby, decided to have a snoop around their room while they were elsewhere and have a good sniff of their belongings. Beagles have great noses and also love their food too - they will eat anything that they consider food. Toby had a good rummage and sniff through Beth's handbag and discovered several packets of herbal tea laxatives. He must have thought they were a tasty snack, and devoured the lot of them!

Thankfully, Toby was fine and the laxatives didn't seem to affect him at all. I think he would have had a second helping, if he had been given the chance.

 

[joe2006]

I could be a real handful when I was a kid. Things got so bad that my mom and dad sent me to this outdoor therapeutic camp for a year. It was like a year long boy scouts camp. One day we were eating grapes as a snack and were only supposed to start eating when the councilors said we could. Before everyone got their grapes, I ate a grape and a councilor caught me. He told me to give him my grapes with the idea of giving them back to me after he said we could eat. I thought he was going to eat my grapes and was very angry with him. I squeezed the grapes and grape juice poured all over the councilor's shirt and hands. He began screaming and hollering at me and made me sit on the stump the campers would have to sit on when they got in trouble. As I was sitting there, the councilor was still hollering at me as he went to the watering hose to rinse his hands off. Then he hollered at me again as he walked by the stump on his way to the sleeping shelter. Once he changed his shirt he calmed down. Then we talked about what I did and everything was ok. I had never seen him so angry before. Thinking back on this got me laughing pretty hard.

 

[sidd851]

I once was on the job installing a very large generator, and the necessary electrical components to switch over in the event of a power outage.
The entire building was basically an insurance computer-room, and the specifications of the time required less than a third of a second switchover to prevent data loss.
I appropriated the more desirable job, in this case, and set about the indoor,
electric-room installation.
Upon completing the installation of two of the components, I did a double take---
and promptly doubled over in paroxysms of laughter.

I had installed an Onan brand transfer switch next to a Siemens panel-box.

For several minutes I was unable to even describe the reason for my hysterical outburst, I was laughing so hard.

When I did explain--- nobody got it.

Go ahead.
I'll wait.

 

[TheFreeCat]

Years ago when I worked in Wales, I had to call someone in from a waiting area.
"Dai Evans please"
3 guys stood up.
"Oh... errr... That's David 'Dai' Evans"
1 guy sat down.
"David 'Dai' Evans of Mercer Street?"
Both guys remained standing.
"Born in May?"
Still both standing and looking at each other and me quizzically.
"Errr... David 'Dai" Evans, lives in Mercer Street born in May 1952?"
At last one sat down

That is impossible! Are you serious? I hope they had a serious conversation with one another. Obviously they were meant to meet!!!!

 

[TempeFan]

I had installed an Onan brand transfer switch next to a Siemens panel-box.
For several minutes I was unable to even describe the reason for my hysterical outburst, I was laughing so hard.
When I did explain--- nobody got it.

This time you have me stumped, but I guess I deserve it.

It reminds me of the time I was at the local resort for comedy club weekend. There was an open mike at lunch time and no one was taking the stage. The waitress went from table to table asking if anyone knew any jokes. When she got to me I said. "Well, there's the one that goes, the Irishman walked out of a bar."
She said, "You should tell that one." I said, "I just did." Everyone laughed, except for this one Irishman, who had been carried out of the bar on the previous night. About 10 minutes later, as he passes my table, he turns to me, bursts out laughing and says, "I get it! I get it!"

 

[sidd851]

This time you have me stumped, but I guess I deserve it.

It reminds me of the time I was at the local resort for comedy club weekend. There was an open mike at lunch time and no one was taking the stage. The waitress went from table to table asking if anyone knew any jokes. When she got to me I said. "Well, there's the one that goes, the Irishman walked out of a bar."
She said, "You should tell that one." I said, "I just did." Everyone laughed, except for this one Irishman, who had been carried out of the bar on the pre About 10 minutes later, as he passes my table, he turns to me, bursts out laughing and says, "I get it! I get it!"

There is a biblical story, concerning a gentleman by the name of "Onan", who committed a certain transgression, and was summarily punished.

(It may be worth mentioning, that the cardboard box that the panel came in, and was clearly marked "Siemens", was on the floor under the two mounted components.)

 

[ftfipps]

When I was a kid my mom told me that she was Santa Clause and I asked, 'where do you keep the reindeer?' One time a friend of mine mispronounced the word chewable. He said "Chew-wobble" on accident.

 

[OlLiE]

was in a rush,
couldn't find my keys,
spent about 15 minutes running around the house to find them,
when i stopped,
i realised i was holding them in my hand

 

[Nervous Rex]

A friend of mine just posted a picture of them with Joel Olsteen on FaceBook. When I saw it, my first thought was, "Wow! How'd they get to meet Martin Short?" My wife said she thought the same thing.

I'd much rather meet Martin Short.

 

[Autistamatic]

I once was on the job installing a very large generator, and the necessary electrical components to switch over in the event of a power outage.
The entire building was basically an insurance computer-room, and the specifications of the time required less than a third of a second switchover to prevent data loss.
I appropriated the more desirable job, in this case, and set about the indoor,
electric-room installation.
Upon completing the installation of two of the components, I did a double take---
and promptly doubled over in paroxysms of laughter.

I had installed an Onan brand transfer switch next to a Siemens panel-box.

For several minutes I was unable to even describe the reason for my hysterical outburst, I was laughing so hard.

When I did explain--- nobody got it.

Go ahead.
I'll wait.

That's the funniest story on here so far! What does that say about the 2 of us?

Spoiler

That we've read the Old Testament obviously

.

 

[Mia]

This is something that happened to someone I know. She was on a bus in the city, returning home from work. It was hot, and she was standing as all seats were taken. She began to perspire and took out a white embroidered handkerchief to wipe her forehead. As she moved she dropped her handkerchief on the lap of the man sitting in front of her, who was reading a newspaper.

The newspaper was folded down, as the man saw something white on his lap and his eyes widened in shock. He quickly unzipped the fly of his pants, stuffed the handkerchief inside and zipped up his fly. He thought that either his shirt or underwear was sticking out and panicked. The woman didn't say anything, and obviously didn't want the handkerchief back. Although she wondered afterward what his wife or mother might have thought, if and when they found a women's handkerchief in his pants.