Sensate focus...

[Rocco]

It was recommended by a therapist to practice Sensate focus.
Has anyone tried/ done this.
It sounds like horror, touching all over body, long periods of staring into a partners eyes.
I could not stop laughing, that this was suggested to me, a known Aspie.

Is this therapeutic or torture? I do NOT like light touch, or eyes staring.

I tried a search before posting, I can't seem to search properly. Kept saying no member named Sensate.

 

[King_Oni]

I tried a search before posting, I can't seem to search properly. Kept saying no member named Sensate.

If you click the search bar, the top bar is the one for topics, you probably skipped down a space and filled in "Posted by member". The top bar.. the "header" so to speak, appears in a yellow-ish gradient, but it's a search bar on it's own. I can see how it would've been confusing though.

 

[Rocco]

It works! and I found this very thread there.

 

[Ste11aeres]

It was recommended by a therapist to practice Sensate focus.
Has anyone tried/ done this.
It sounds like horror, touching all over body, long periods of staring into a partners eyes.
I could not stop laughing, that this was suggested to me, a known Aspie.

Is this therapeutic or torture? I do NOT like light touch, or eyes staring.

I tried a search before posting, I can't seem to search properly. Kept saying no member named Sensate.

sounds horrible. Unless it was someone with whom I had a very special relationship, it sounds like torture.

 

[Etzelaire]

I can stare at people, they are just chemistry physics and on. We don't even know exactly 'how we are' so in a way for me it's like staring to a machine.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Depends on the person and if they were willing to go through with it. If they wanted to, it'd definitely be uncomfortable, but they'd probably be more willing since there would be some kind of assurance they could stop and take breaks as was necessary for them to recoup between sessions, and likely a greater chance to experiment and determine precisely what sensations are in tolerance and which ones have no hope of every being tolerated.

It'd be torture for me. I've already had a few people try to "adjust" me to being handled, and about all it accomplished was them realizing that if I'm looking you in the eye for an extended period of time (and you're not my mate), it's not a good sign. =P

 

[Ylva]

Your therapist must just be running experiments. Sure, I can focus on how horrible it feels, but don't expect me to be any more welcoming to that **** afterward.

 

[rainyjay]

I'll preface this by saying that I don't know whether I am on the spectrum, but I had a marriage/sex therapist who recommended sensate focus and it was a very poor choice for us. I wanted counseling because my husband suffers from sexual anxiety (from internalizing my sensory issues?) and I think sensate focus is a commonly recommended treatment for that kind of thing.

It was a really uncomfortable and challenging experience for me that I really worked hard to tolerate, but the combination of the sensate focus and feeling helplessly overwhelmed by my inability to address my husband's anxiety completely shut me down.The therapist's solution always was to do more, more slowly, with more talking, and more skin contact.

We left therapy a year later, having never moved beyond the initial exercises despite my/our best intentions and we haven't touched each other since. It was a miserable and humbling experience and really makes me question whether I would ever be a suitable partner for anyone.

 

[Harrison]

I went to counselling once with an ex prior to knowing I was aspie. They recommended a sensate session and it was the most horrifying moment of my life. I hated it so much I left and ended the relationship, it caused me to have a total meltdown.

Skip forward to me knowing I'm aspie, went to a workshop where they were doing a variation on that theme. I actually got through the session with a total stranger, although there were moments when I thought I was going to lose it, especially the staring.