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Selfdiagnosis/unmasking

Shohei79

Member
Hi! Thanks for letting me be here. Maybe a common question. I am now +40. Have read a lot about autism and I feel more and more that I am on the spectrum.

I have many and intense interests since young like fantasy, sports, gaming, yoga and languages. I like to talk about them.

I have difficulties with sarcasm, and problems with eye contact and I probably stim. I've always been clumsy especially as a small which led to me being bullied. I tend connect with people with similar characteristics and I often feel a bit different. Difficult to explain, I am more detailed than others, more intense and I believe I have masked a lot. Now I am maybe unmasking myself?

I read the book Unmasking Autism by Devon Price and that has made me think a lot. I ve talked to my therapist and she has told me that probably you ”tick in ” in a lot of the boxes but that I am too social and that I manage my life well thus not needing support.

I am not sure what to make of it. Still I feel like I am helped by books about autism and also to connect to similar style like me. And also to certain youtubers.

I know you cant tell me if I am neurodiverse or not. But maybe some of you are or have been in a similar situtation?

Have a nice day!
 
Welcome, @Shohei79

It does sound like you are on the spectrum. It's alright. Alot of us, myself included, are self-dignosed but are making steps to address it and live with it.

However, I have to disagree with your therapist. Socail issues are not so black and white. And you can be on the spectrum and still socialize. Autism doesn't mean anti-social. Handling your life well doesn't exactly mean there isn't a unique way you may be handle it.

But this is just my take.
 
Welcome, @Shohei79

It does sound like you are on the spectrum. It's alright. Alot of us, myself included, are self-dignosed but are making steps to address it and live with it.

However, I have to disagree with your therapist. Socail issues are not so black and white. And you can be on the spectrum and still socialize. Autism doesn't mean anti-social. Handling your life well doesn't exactly mean there isn't a unique way you may be handle it.

But this is just my take.

Hi, thanks for your answer. The social aspect is a bit complicated for even though I know how to connect, discuss etc it takes a lot of energy and if I can choose I am rather home or for myself. So I think people outside at work or in society etc dont always see my more ”introvert” side. So far i ve had a lot of help from literature about autism and hopefully I can get more input here.
 
Hello and welcome. I am glad you have found us. Many here have found great understanding for a lifetime full of questions. I think one of the most helpful things to grow your understanding of yourself could be to read as much as you can on this forum. Notice where you relate to other peoples’ experiences and where their stories and yours sound similar. Many of us found relatable stories here that we have never found elsewhere. I hope we can be a good support to you and that you can find a comfortable place here among us. Let us know if you need any help finding your way around the forum.
 
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Welcome!

I concur with Xinyta's comments - autism is a broad spectrum, and each persons ability to interact and cope with a given situation varies, as does our ability to mask and fit in.

There's also a stereotype that autistic persons are introverted, and while I would say that yes, the majority of autistic persons are introverted, there are some extroverted ones as well (including some in this community).

Some of us get lucky in that we have work and/or social relationships that work well for us, and so our challenges may not be apparent. This may also lead to us being "brushed off" when we raise our concerns.

Some are not so lucky and may be constantly in situations where their sensitivities are triggered, and this may get them more readily identified and assessed (Price kind of alludes to this when talking about assessment of AS levels is more of a reflection of how others are impacted by an autistic person's needs), but then of course there's still the matter of trying to find what works for them, and how to identify and remove barriers that prevent them from having a safe spaces to live, work, and play within.
 
Welcome!

I concur with Xinyta's comments - autism is a broad spectrum, and each persons ability to interact and cope with a given situation varies, as does our ability to mask and fit in.

There's also a stereotype that autistic persons are introverted, and while I would say that yes, the majority of autistic persons are introverted, there are some extroverted ones as well (including some in this community).

Some of us get lucky in that we have work and/or social relationships that work well for us, and so our challenges may not be apparent. This may also lead to us being "brushed off" when we raise our concerns.

Some are not so lucky and may be constantly in situations where their sensitivities are triggered, and this may get them more readily identified and assessed (Price kind of alludes to this when talking about assessment of AS levels is more of a reflection of how others are impacted by an autistic person's needs), but then of course there's still the matter of trying to find what works for them, and how to identify and remove barriers that prevent them from having a safe spaces to live, work, and play within.
I appreciate your perspective. I suppose I am in a kind of rapid unmasking process. Also thinking about my childhood and my worklife. The more I learn and read the more I feel that literature and stories about autism is helpful and true to me. So there is obviously smth there for me as well.
 
Thanks for all the answers most helpful. I did some of the tests out there that I was recommended.

43 of 50 (I think it was the ”ordinary” aspie quiz)

And and longer questionaire with 120+ questions where I got 135 of 200 and my nt score was 89 of 200.

What do you make out if these different quiz. Are they good/helpful?
 
Thanks for all the answers most helpful. I did some of the tests out there that I was recommended.

43 of 50 (I think it was the ”ordinary” aspie quiz)

And and longer questionaire with 120+ questions where I got 135 of 200 and my nt score was 89 of 200.

What do you make out if these different quiz. Are they good/helpful?
I think that they give you an idea if you are on the spectrum or not so that you know if it is worth getting diagnosed or not. If you score higher all around as an NT, then you probably are not on the spectrum. However, I am learning as I go along as well.

I had a man ask me if I was autistic because of how I communicate (typing, voice). I don't know exactly what it is about the way I type or talk that clued him in, but he works directly with autistic adults, so he picked up on something from his experience. That was the first time I ever thought to look into Autism and found I tick a LOT of the boxes. I find doing those quizzes at different times in my life I score differently, as no one scores the same every single time. So it is good to do it more than once. I did, so I know my scores are not a fluke and there is a very good chance that I am on the spectrum, even though I have not yet been officially diagnosed.

I have friends who say there is no way I am Autistic, but they are thinking of the typical stereotype of an autistic person. It is a spectrum after all and people tend to only notice the one side of it.

Also, when it comes to doctors, I have kidney disease and even professionals in that profession or

ANY profession can differ on a diagnosis for someone. So just because one says you are too sociable to be on the spectrum does not make it true. Is his medical expertise on autism? What kind of doctor was s/he?

It is also important to point out that different genders show their autism differently. More males than females have been diagnosed, as females tend to mask more. I know I mask a lot as I grew up with my mom who was all about appearances.
 
I think that they give you an idea if you are on the spectrum or not so that you know if it is worth getting diagnosed or not. If you score higher all around as an NT, then you probably are not on the spectrum. However, I am learning as I go along as well.

I had a man ask me if I was autistic because of how I communicate (typing, voice). I don't know exactly what it is about the way I type or talk that clued him in, but he works directly with autistic adults, so he picked up on something from his experience. That was the first time I ever thought to look into Autism and found I tick a LOT of the boxes. I find doing those quizzes at different times in my life I score differently, as no one scores the same every single time. So it is good to do it more than once. I did, so I know my scores are not a fluke and there is a very good chance that I am on the spectrum, even though I have not yet been officially diagnosed.

I have friends who say there is no way I am Autistic, but they are thinking of the typical stereotype of an autistic person. It is a spectrum after all and people tend to only notice the one side of it.

Also, when it comes to doctors, I have kidney disease and even professionals in that profession or

ANY profession can differ on a diagnosis for someone. So just because one says you are too sociable to be on the spectrum does not make it true. Is his medical expertise on autism? What kind of doctor was s/he?

It is also important to point out that different genders show their autism differently. More males than females have been diagnosed, as females tend to mask more. I know I mask a lot as I grew up with my mom who was all about appearances.
Thanks for input. I masked a lot growing up in schopl and with my parents and brother. I had freinds that accepting.. Yes its a detectives work to figure out what you mask but I feel like where I am most comfortable thats where I dont mask. I ve probably masked a lot of my frustration and anger through the years.
 
Same. The people who accept me for me and who I trust fully I don't need to mask around. <3
 

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