Hi, my name is Dave. I am a 55 year old man with two children and a wonderful wife who is far more patient than I could imagine being. We have been married for over 20 years and together for almost 25. I have two grown children, a 26 year old daughter and a 19 year old son. The damage that I have created in my life and the lives of my wife and children with my response to my Asperger's is astounding. I have a wife who is very lonely and scared about her future because all she sees is a shell of a man walking around her house. There is no way for her to get through to me although she does try - repeatedly and often. I do not know how to respond to her pleas for me to check back in to life and to give her the emotional support that she so desperately needs. She suffers from PTSD and severe abandonment issues and feels like I have abandoned her emotionally.
The good points of my Aspergers: being loyal, hardworking, intelligent, etc. do not make up for the wreckage that I have made of my relationship with my wife. She says there are thousands of success stories out there of people who have learned how to cope with their Aspergers, how to recharge and check back in, drop the masks and negative behaviors, etc. and come back to live their lives much more fully and to learn how to share themselves. I am at the point of begging for any help that can be offered. I have an appointment in two weeks with a counselor that I am hoping can offer some help.
I have several ways to recharge but I do not employ them with any regularity, furthering my wife's frustration with me. These are: spending time tinkering alone, cleaning, riding my bike, exercising in the gym. How were some of you able to turn things around and improve your relationships and come back to the people who love you? She does love me very much - this I know - otherwise, she would have left me long ago. I am hoping that an Aspergers diagnosis can lead to improvement and not defeat, but that is up to me and right now I feel frozen.
Thank you all for reading. Have a great day!
The good points of my Aspergers: being loyal, hardworking, intelligent, etc. do not make up for the wreckage that I have made of my relationship with my wife. She says there are thousands of success stories out there of people who have learned how to cope with their Aspergers, how to recharge and check back in, drop the masks and negative behaviors, etc. and come back to live their lives much more fully and to learn how to share themselves. I am at the point of begging for any help that can be offered. I have an appointment in two weeks with a counselor that I am hoping can offer some help.
I have several ways to recharge but I do not employ them with any regularity, furthering my wife's frustration with me. These are: spending time tinkering alone, cleaning, riding my bike, exercising in the gym. How were some of you able to turn things around and improve your relationships and come back to the people who love you? She does love me very much - this I know - otherwise, she would have left me long ago. I am hoping that an Aspergers diagnosis can lead to improvement and not defeat, but that is up to me and right now I feel frozen.
Thank you all for reading. Have a great day!